Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Quote of the day, 11/28/06

ROMY: What the hell is your problem, Christie? Why are you always such a nasty bitch?

I mean, yeah, okay, Michele and I did make up some lame story.
We only did it because we wanted you to treat us like human beings.
But you know what we finally realized? We don't care if you like us. Because we don't like you. You're a bad person with an ugly heart, and we don't give a flying fuck what you think.

--"Romy and Michele's High School Reunion"


Dear Guess Who,

Suck my five inch pointy stiletto, you malignant narcissists.

p.p.s. i don't actually own any such shoes. And I've never given a blowjob (to a flesh phallus, anyway) in my life.

And it -still- doesn't say one fucking goddam thing about my feminism either way. Anymore than flossing my teeth every morning or eating enough fiber to take a decent size shit does.

Here's my feminist manifesto. It's very simple, really.

When a woman, an actual, real live woman, not an abstraction, is standing in front of you with an opened vein? And you have nothing to offer her but bile and ideology,

time and again;

preferring to bask in the glow of your adoring sycophants to actually taking a tiny dose of your own medicine, much less offering so much as a drop of real compassion or hope or strength or support to people who desperately need it;

You're not a feminist.

You're a bargain basement televangelist.

and maybe, just maybe,

A bad person, with an ugly heart.

Wrap it in whatever fishwrap of an ideology you like. It still stinks.

p.p.p.s. People aren't hypocrites if they don't even try to live up to YOUR standards. Which are not, by the way, synonymous with "feminist standards."

What they are, is HEALTHY.

p.p.p.p.s I'm tempted to post it over there, but for the sake of sanity (my own among others), i'm restraining myself. I just want to respond to this, by a millie:

" Why is it that that no one will respond to ANY post about gays and lesbians who believe themselves to have had soley homosexual attraction, despite zero exposure to or knowledge of anything other than heterosexuality?"

Just guessing: because, for some strange reason, perhaps, no one who identifies as such feels at home enough to post over there. Even though, as noted, plenty of heterosexual women as well as "political lesbians" really relate to endless kvetching about the ev0ls of high heels and blowjobs. Personally I've never met another lesbian in my life who's been -quite- so concerned with cock, whether in delight or disgust, and yet never once seems to express any actual desire toward, you know, other women. But whatever; there's been quite enough "realness" flaming for one day, and as i've said, ultimately, the "coldhearted shit" part concerns me a lot more than what anyone does or doesn't do in bed.

As alluded to in my post of just last night, however: I am, if not a Kinsey Six, someone who does feel that her sexuality was...

well, put it this way: it's complicated.

I have no idea wrt genetics and such. I think it differs from person to person. My take on the "it's a choice" business is that as far as civil rights go, it's a red herring, albeit arguably one that's been of some limited use in realpolitik terms. But that's really tangential to my point here.

Point being:

It is precisely because I struggled with my very real, wherever their origin, -my- desires, for so long, that it fills me with so much rage when someone who paints herself as an ally turns around and does the very thing that was the source of my misery to other people. Even if I as a supposedly "correct" whatever-it-is am not currently the target.

Because I have been, and I know very well how it feels.

And further, I am -well- aware that when someone is bound and determined to make a sport out of scapegoating, it doesn't matter if I'm not the one on her hotseat -today;- I can be just as easily tomorrow, and probably will be.

And no, I for one do not find the experience so refreshing, "really makes you think."

Because I've been to that rodeo, and it sucks, no matter how you're rationalizing it.

You know what'd really be radical? Kindness. Acceptance. Eros.

And no, I don't live up to my own standard there, either.

But I'm not gonna beat myself up for it, either;

because i know that one too well, as well.


antiprincess said...

god damn.

antiprincess said...

which is not even to address the whole political-lesbian thing woven through the most recent thread.

not that I think it's a good idea to poke you with that pointy stick...

belledame222 said...

I just updated to include that. Jesus whirling christ.

Dear Edith: the thing about bonobos is, they use sex as a way of -connecting.- A soical bond, you know, as a nice substitute for killing each other. Which has what to do with your particular brand of "mean feminism," again?

JackGoff said...

I think she has a point that the whole "feminine standards" thing come from the patriarchy, and because of this fact, she thinks that she can say whatever she wants to about other women and their totally-not thought out arguments (snark, by the way).

That she can't see that she's mocking other women by calling them cop-outs is more than a little disturbing. Yeah, the patriarchy sucks. It's probably the reason Twisty doesn't see how hateful she can be. Or that she has NPD, as you said.

antiprincess said...

so, you blame the patriarchy for I Blame the Patriarchy?

JackGoff said...

I don't know enough to say.

antiprincess said...

I'm not so interested in excuses.

The Patriarchy Hurts Twisty, Too?

belledame222 said...

insert mournful Romani melody played on world's tiniest Stradivarius.

JackGoff said...

The Patriarchy Hurts Twisty, Too?

Um, well...yeah. And Twisty hurts other women with her tripe. Trust me, I'm not defending her or excusing her. ;-)

Veronica said...

Belle, she's a parody of herself at this point. Is it really worth the trouble? I mean, c'mon... did you catch the one where she officially declared herself a Underapreciated Martyr for Our Sacred Cause? Poor little Twisty, being crucified every day for rejecting the sins of the Sex Class; for you, Belledame! And, you want to continue to insist that she's not the Earthly Incarnation of THE LORD? When she's sacrificing a life on EASY street on your behalf!?! You should accept her as your personal Lord and Savior, doncha know?


belledame222 said...

heh, didn't see that one, but it doesn't surprise me. and, she said smugly, i predicted it would go this way; it always does, with people like this.

as for whether it's worth it: neh, i see friends get upset, i've got my own shit roiling in the background: voila, cough up another chunk of ancient crap wrapped around this unworthy target.

way i see it is, though: hey, she does it for me and mine; why not take the opportunity to return the favor?

belledame222 said...

the biggest atheist in South Austin!

but you see, there are sane reasonable people in that thread eating that shit up. hey, she's bashing religion! i think religion sucks, too, WTG, TWISTY!

because you know, it's really unheard of, among the loosely-defined left, to take that position. i mean, it's so daring! atheism! w00t.

next thing you know she'll be telling us she's smoked that wacky tobaccy all the kids are into these days.

meh. i might be more impressed if i hadn't been raised by three generations' worth of agnostics and atheists. or if i were, like, sixteen again.

Veronica said...

I don't bother to read the comments. May be why my blood pressure is so healthy.

belledame222 said...

I just skimmed down a bit, saw some familiar and well-liked names, got depressed, left. Well, what are you gonna do.

Veronica said...

Well, fuck, now I have to go look. (Can you tell I'm stalking your blog for lunch?)

belledame222 said...

sorry, no lunch here. i need to go eat, myself, actually. probably fast food for the zillionth time in a row whilst steadfastly ignoring the existence of the movie -or- book "fast food nation." speaking of not wanting to examine -n- such.

antiprincess said...

I admire your restraint, Veronica.

Veronica said...

OMG. What the fuck is it with Delphyne and the Lesbian Proclamations?! Chica has issues.

Antiprincess--it's a double edged sword. I'd be a much more popular blogger if I jumped into these messes more often, and kept up with the drama with more attentiveness. But... my mental health (and blood pressue) come first. I'm not restrained... I'm self-absorbed ;)

belledame222 said...

you're smart, is what you are.

it's just another hook in the great um, hookfest of life, this particular drama. there are so, so many to get snagged on.

"if it's not this, it's that."

Maureen said...

Oh. My. God.

I was just swanning around the fun-filled Twisty comments (even (gasp) making one against Heart* in which I felt that political lesbianism was NOT a viable political strategy. She didn't respond.) and I began composing some notes on how I really didn't think that whatever 21st century political lesbianism there is actually contained any Kinsey Sixes (or even perhaps Kinsey Fives). Much of the points--how many lesbians are really quite indifferent to men--I culled from you (not having experience being solely attracted to women)

And then I read your post. Excellent.

(Should I go over there to try to defend Millie? I feel sort of bad leaving her with the impression that this is what all feminists are like.)

*I haven't done any serious reading of Heart's blog, but she sounds like a major killjoy.

Maureen said...

Oh, good, hedonistic's going. Excellent.

belledame222 said...

oh, Heart. Heart is...-interesting.- Yes.

google "The Margins" + Heart; also, oh fuck what is her real name. Cheryl Lindsey Seelhof? is that it? she has a rather complex history. she's also just sweet as can be, in a particular sort of way.

that said, she's not stupid, and she does actually bring a broader (in some ways) perspective to her thinking; she also does real live activism; in many ways i take her more seriously than TF. doesn't mean i don't also find her horrible, just in a slightly different way. the transbigotry is really my personal line in the sand, with her. big MichFest honcho, you know. among other things.

belledame222 said...

anyway, Cliff Notes: she used to be a devout fundamentalist Christian, of the sort of homeschool, quasi-survivalist, DIY everything type; married to a real piece of work, apparently; and, like, ten? eleven? kids.

somewhere in there she made the switch to radical "political lesbian" feminist and separatist. "cultural feminist" is what i'd call her: moon, womb and all (which is not TF). in some ways I prefer...well, anyway.

but what i think of her is, after reading sufficient of her stuff--

you know "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" you know how they have this one game called "Old Job, New Job"? like, the person is supposed to act out the "new job" as though sie were still in the old one. so, it'd be like, old job, auctioneer; new job, elementary school teacher. Improv'r goes:

"...And who can tell me what five times four is?"


"TWENTY! from the young lady in the red jumper, do i hear twenty one, do i have a twenty-one--thank you young sir, can i have-a-twenty-two, o can i have twenty-two, twenty threetwenty-five, twenty-five, twenny-five O gimme twenny-fi'-fi'-fi'..."

like that, you know.

i mean, it's not as though there's any dearth of "wimmin R Speshul" proponents in the radical right; in fact they're very big on that. only difference is instead of rejecting the "patriarchal" they promote it. other than that, though? in terms of lifestyle? and you know, i don't think either one is too terribly big on, like, pr0n, or sexual this or that...

belledame222 said...

veronica: okay, i read that thread now, or most of it. hoo boy.

"Here I stand, I can do no other..."

yeah, irony indeed. zzz.

and of course Darleen the Horrifying gets into it.

TF's allusion to the ex who committed suicide is one of the more personal bits of past i've ever seen from her. i...yeah.

that comments thread made me tired.

you know, i get why some people still feel okay being there; as long as you don't step on whatever it is that triggers the Swarm, some interesting back and forth does happen occasionally. well, i mean, most of it is not stuff that's y'know news, but at least...

yeah. the atheism/religion thing is another one i'd like to get into at some point.

but the whole, humans have no more mystery than a box of dirt...gah, who needs this?

if you want to say, there's mystery and excitement even in the dirt (which there is, which is what real science is all about), that's something else.

but that's not what she was saying, was it.

"Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow.."

yeah, i prefer "more than dream't of in your philosophy, Horatio," myself.

she's a nihilist.

Veronica said...

Yeah, she's a bit of a nihilist. And, on a certain level... hey... breast cancer is scary. I do *get* the "nothing to lose" mentality that I think might fuel a lot of her meaner moments. It's like when Grandma is Old and Doesn't Give a Fuck Anymore, and so will say Just Whatever at Christmas dinner and giggle at the strife she's riled up.

Which, ya know. Fine. Ok. Sure.

belledame222 said...

oh sure, i'm sure that's there.

but i get the strong sense she was like that before the diagnosis as well. who knows. that story about the girlfriend...yeesh. and other clues, and, yeah. not going there.

i think crises don't really change your personality (usually) so much as throw into sharp relief what was already there.

belledame222 said...

>It's like when Grandma is Old and Doesn't Give a Fuck Anymore, and so will say Just Whatever at Christmas dinner and giggle at the strife she's riled up.>

ever see a movie called "Tatie Danielle?"

belledame222 said...

but per nihilism wasn't actually even referring to the meanness so much as the whole, Patriarchy as Uber-Encompassing Monolith, and just her general mm philosophy, i'd say, even in her "better" moments.