tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post4116756918136973189..comments2024-03-28T03:15:55.088-04:00Comments on Fetch me my axe: What does "I hate children" really mean?Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger94125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-54920635525827177502007-06-16T05:55:00.000-04:002007-06-16T05:55:00.000-04:00I absolutely DO remember how I was expected to act...I absolutely DO remember how I was expected to act in public as a child.<BR/><BR/>We were seen and not heard.<BR/><BR/>The thoughts of running around in restaurants screaming and yelling never even crossed my mind.<BR/><BR/>I sat at my place and quietly ate my dinner being sure not to interrupt the conversation of the adults.<BR/><BR/>I don't really see anything wrong with that actually. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-76615288920950101862007-06-15T12:57:00.000-04:002007-06-15T12:57:00.000-04:00btw, meant to say: welcome to all newcomers.btw, meant to say: welcome to all newcomers.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-69553281645701736242007-06-15T00:43:00.000-04:002007-06-15T00:43:00.000-04:00Great post and discussion, and far more civil than...Great post and discussion, and far more civil than it has been in some places. (I'm afraid to read the feministe bit!)<BR/><BR/>I spent last night at dinner with a screaming child behind me (not constant screaming, more like sharp, punctuated blasts) and today on the plane with a couple of occasionally-crying infants. It really doesn't bother me much anymore, because it just gets filed in my Plain(s)feministhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15056404699624958898noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-40513524496579938932007-06-14T22:27:00.000-04:002007-06-14T22:27:00.000-04:00Yeah, either parents defend the kid and/or take an...Yeah, either parents defend the kid and/or take any criticism as a reflection on themselves, ime.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-25810877940508007842007-06-14T20:41:00.000-04:002007-06-14T20:41:00.000-04:00"If the parents get upset? Let them."I've tried th...<I>"If the parents get upset? Let them."<BR/><BR/>I've tried that, on several occasions. Responses range from actually threatening me with physical violence (for telling a child that she had to wait her turn in line) to the usual "How dare you tell my kid what to do?".</I><BR/><BR/>The only thing I can think of is 'that sucks.' <BR/><BR/><BR/><I>As far as why most folks don't talk to a kid about Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-17826531473055350702007-06-14T19:00:00.000-04:002007-06-14T19:00:00.000-04:00I can't say there is any restaurant A child should...I can't say there is any restaurant A child should not be at, just because they are a child. And owing to the fact that my family has been in the restaurant business for oh about 30 years, including my brother being owner/chef at a 4 star restaurant...I do spend a lot of time in them. I have seen toddlers be astoundingly well behaved in my brother's restaurants..and since this was a family of andihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07193493687484232494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-26603050542390445932007-06-14T13:37:00.000-04:002007-06-14T13:37:00.000-04:00Another thing occurs to me, too. I think that mayb...<I>Another thing occurs to me, too. I think that maybe part of my issue here is the way that, in almost any thread about children, someone has to show up and complain about that one time when a kid was at a restaurant later than it should have been, and it ruined my dinner!</I><BR/><BR/>You know, maybe it depends on the location, because this actually happens a lot where I live. It's never just Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-28403770278840853872007-06-14T12:39:00.000-04:002007-06-14T12:39:00.000-04:00beansa: you're probably right.beansa: you're probably right.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-29445507693880186012007-06-14T12:38:00.000-04:002007-06-14T12:38:00.000-04:00I think Ravenmn was talking about intervening with...<I>I think Ravenmn was talking about intervening with the kids, not the parents. Although I could be mistaken. I've suggested that in real life before, but it never seems to catch on.<BR/><BR/>Intervening with the kids, that is. Most people bypass the kids automatically and go straight to a parent, if they say anything at all. I find it's usually more effective to talk to the kid. Size and wetherAmber Rheahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02109708537597646450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-67771717100870205292007-06-14T11:38:00.000-04:002007-06-14T11:38:00.000-04:00Ravenmn said.."If the parents get upset? Let them....Ravenmn said..<BR/><BR/>"If the parents get upset? Let them."<BR/><BR/>I've tried that, on several occasions. Responses range from actually threatening me with physical violence (for telling a child that she had to wait her turn in line) to the usual "How dare you tell my kid what to do?".<BR/><BR/>Let's just say the outcome is generally not pretty. I avoid it if possible, but will not allow a Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-67945458896906370892007-06-14T05:11:00.000-04:002007-06-14T05:11:00.000-04:00With really little kids the only things that work ...With really little kids the only things that work are redirection and repetition. If a child is in iminent danger, you obviously have to intervene and get them out of the way - like picking up a toddler before they run into the street. That can be follwed up with an emphatic NO! That's Not Safe! Tone of voice carries a lot of weight with little kids.<BR/><BR/>So swooping in and picking the kid upbeansahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05273094728921760335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-14676290237465945692007-06-14T01:43:00.000-04:002007-06-14T01:43:00.000-04:00I think Ravenmn was talking about intervening with...I think Ravenmn was talking about intervening with the kids, not the parents. Although I could be mistaken. I've suggested that in real life before, but it never seems to catch on. <BR/><BR/>Intervening with the kids, that is. Most people bypass the kids automatically and go straight to a parent, if they say anything at all. I find it's usually more effective to talk to the kid. Size and wether Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-3318773885013485832007-06-14T01:12:00.000-04:002007-06-14T01:12:00.000-04:00My cat waits till I set the spraybottle aside and ...My cat waits till I set the spraybottle aside and then -attacks it.<BR/><BR/>Raven: well, what i hear from -some- people is that they -do- say something to the parents, but it doesn't do any good.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-2889063965977925462007-06-14T01:10:00.000-04:002007-06-14T01:10:00.000-04:00This comment has been removed by the author.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-77700953482073499112007-06-14T01:00:00.000-04:002007-06-14T01:00:00.000-04:00This might be entirely too simplistic, but how abo...This might be entirely too simplistic, but how about we adults intervene with unruly kids and voice our opinions about their behavior?<BR/><BR/>If the parents get upset? Let them.<BR/><BR/>There's something about this discussion that makes it seem as if people who are bothered by the inappropriate behavior of children feel that speaking up would be so horrifying that tolerating nonsense is the Ravenmnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11578771107514349258noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-673928549281543172007-06-14T00:38:00.000-04:002007-06-14T00:38:00.000-04:00basically he gets away with murder, so.And that is...<I>basically he gets away with murder, so.</I><BR/><BR/>And that is why I like fish. Although, there was that one time number Four jumped into the bathroom sink and had to be rescued. <BR/><BR/>Used to own a cat (or rather, he owned me, ya can't really own a cat, they just...deign to take up residence with a person) and I found a spraybottle with water in it worked wonders for when he decided Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-13904334149720692692007-06-14T00:24:00.000-04:002007-06-14T00:24:00.000-04:00but yeah, i mean, i have the same question wrt, li...but yeah, i mean, i have the same question wrt, like, my cat. basically he gets away with murder, so.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-45337348771251752792007-06-14T00:23:00.000-04:002007-06-14T00:23:00.000-04:00I think a single swat on the behind as "no! danger...I think a single swat on the behind as "no! dangerous don't do that right NOW!" attention getter probably wouldn't do lasting harm. Beyond that, though...yeah. I think it serves the parents' needs far FAR more than the kids'.belledame222https://www.blogger.com/profile/13947289856453172848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-57108806058871464512007-06-13T23:33:00.000-04:002007-06-13T23:33:00.000-04:00Beansa, If you don't mind my asking, how do you ge...Beansa, <BR/><BR/>If you don't mind my asking, how do you get a very young child to stop dangerous behavior? I've mulled that question over for almost a decade, and aside from startling them so they associate whatever's dangerous with the uncomfortable feeling, I'm at a loss. The obvious answer is moving either them or the not so good object out of their reach, but sometimes it isn't feasible, Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-89401562820185674912007-06-13T23:18:00.000-04:002007-06-13T23:18:00.000-04:00It may be age appropriate for a young child to be ...<I>It may be age appropriate for a young child to be bored in a sit down restaurant and want to climb over the seat, play trucks on the back of a shared bench, or run around the place, but it's not really safe and it is a disturbance.</I><BR/><BR/>EXACTLY.Amber Rheahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02109708537597646450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-41572764245124094402007-06-13T23:12:00.000-04:002007-06-13T23:12:00.000-04:00I can't get behind the idea that smacking kids, ho...I can't get behind the idea that smacking kids, however lightly, is ok because I think it contradicts what I'm trying to teach - that hitting is wrong and that no one is allowed to touch your body in a way that you don't like. I mean, I've heard parents say that they spank because it teaches a lesson and it's for your own good and all that and I think, those sound like some of the same reasons beansahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05273094728921760335noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-43190647800770114492007-06-13T21:21:00.000-04:002007-06-13T21:21:00.000-04:00The name bar seems to have screwed up in some form...The name bar seems to have screwed up in some form, the above post is mine.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-2495772179200612152007-06-13T21:15:00.000-04:002007-06-13T21:15:00.000-04:00Light smack. Had an a-ha! moment, the words were b...Light smack. Had an a-ha! moment, the words were better used than that finger tapping example. <BR/><BR/>Probably need to work on my clarity.<BR/>But there's that 'tween stage where discipline is just awkward, and frankly a pain in the ass, especially as they figure out how to sneak around.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-54234774048416839022007-06-13T21:04:00.000-04:002007-06-13T21:04:00.000-04:00If a kid is crying it NEEDS something and the pare...If a kid is crying it NEEDS something and the parents should stop and deal with it or take the kid out until they are under controll. I think MOST folks would agree with that. <BR/>But that's not usually the bone of contention when it comes to CF'ers and parents in restaurants or public places. It's the intrusions into the physical space or private conversations that bother us. It may be age Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16522728868023209848noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-18375173.post-51021386863512959502007-06-13T20:59:00.000-04:002007-06-13T20:59:00.000-04:00Honestly? I'm not sure. Probably a mix of 'They're...Honestly? I'm not sure. Probably a mix of 'They're to young to understand' and the idea that pain is a good inhibitor. Laziness and ignorance probably contribute as well. Pain as a behavior modification tactic working, I think, has some truth to it, but it isn't a good truth. Or one that lasts since they'll just sneak around it and/or defy openly. Besides, it's mean. <BR/><BR/>I was wondering if Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com