Thursday, February 02, 2006
Like, wicked stupid
A pointer to the amusingly horrid Dating Horrors inspired me to dredge up this one.
Once I had a personal ad in the "Women seeking Women" section of the local alternative rag. You could retrieve responses by phone. Mostly these were reasonable women, if none I really clicked with. There was, however, one doozie. Lemme see if I can recreate it from memory:
MALE VOICE, THICK JOISEY ACCENT:
Hey, ____, I saw your ad. You sound real cool. My situation is, me and my girlfriend, we got this little Suzie. We played with her a couple times, you know. Then she fell hard for my girl and now she follows her around like a little puppy dog. And now me and my girl want to get married, so...You'll like her, she's real cute. She'll do anything you want. One thing, though (laughs): She is like, wicked stupid. Anyway, call me, you're interested, we'll hook something up. Later. BEEEEP
I confess I was strongly tempted to respond, if only to find out how l'il Suzie took to all this. That, or turn it into a screenplay for some whacked-out noir flick. Dunno how it turns out, but I'm fairly certain that at some point someone ends up in a trunk.