And speaking of feeling not-so-fresh...

Thanks to Kyso at Punkass Blog for this piece from a favorite website of mine, complete with astute, sensitive analysis of the rich metaphors within.

Can you picture this “Secret Garden” with me? Do you know the name of the garden? Ladies, the garden is you! Little girls, the garden is you! Your name is inscribed on that strong door in bright, golden letters. You are “The Secret Garden!”

OMGWTF! I was the secret garden the whole time! I get it now! By GARDEN, Jennie meant VAGINA! Oooooohhhhhhh! That was pretty clever, I think. Now, I can “prune the trees to perfection” and “sweep the walks” if you know what I mean (and I know you do!) but I’m not sure I can fit a bubbling brook and climbing roses into my vagina, and it doesn’t really have a wall around it. So how can I tease men passing by if they can’t hear the brook or see a wall?


And that brings me back to our Secret Garden. Ladies, do you know what the wall is that surrounds your garden? It isn’t a prison wall. It isn’t a fortress. It isn’t an ugly wall. The wall is modesty.

Modesty.


So now we know. It's not douche; it's FERTILIZER.