Friday, November 02, 2007

One definition of "hurt"

In response to a question posed by "Defining My Self" in the comments of this post: this piece of news, via Questioning Transphobia and Tough Like a Creampuff (among others):

Dear [name removed],

It is with a heavy heart that I share the tragic loss of one of our community’s beautiful children. Ian Guarr, a 16-year old transgender young man from West Michigan, took his own life on Monday. The Guarr family have been staunch allies and good friends of Triangle Foundation from the beginning of their journey. Ian’s mother Amy is a founder of TransYouth Family Advocates (, a national organization addressing the issues facing transgender youth and a national partner of Triangle Foundation’s Camping.OUT program.

Ian was one of my daughter Chloe’s dearest friends. Ian was sensitive, thoughtful, brilliant, hilarious, and painfully shy. Our world is less bright without Ian’s presence. Even with an amazingly supportive and loving family such as Ian had, the youth of our community face an incredibly difficult path. In the United States, every hour an LGBT youth commits suicide. The statistics for transgender youth are even more harrowing — the attempted suicide rate is higher than 50%!

Ian’s family did everything right. They loved, cared, and advocated for who Ian knew he really was –not just for who society wanted him to be. This community owes the Guarr family a debt of gratitude for all that they have done for Ian as well as for all transgender youth.

Triangle Foundation joins our friends at TransYouth Family Advocates and TransActive Education & Advocacy in once again renewing our commitment to working with and on behalf of transgender, gay, lesbian, bisexual and questioning youth who, like Ian, are struggling with a society that is often unwilling to accept them for the unique and beautiful people they are. Our work will continue until no young person feels that suicide is their only option...

Does that help your understanding at all, DMS? I just want to make sure we're clear, here.

Or, wait, don't tell me, let me guess, this has -nothing to do with you-, or your attitude, or indeed with any (non-transgendered) feminist, any lesbian, any -woman- (hey, we have no power! at all! not l'il old us! now: let's have a REVOLUTION, BAYBEE!) or any gay man, or -anyone- else whose hurt is somehow being taken away from by so much as fucking -acknowledging- that, y'know, -other people- have it as bad or worse, and maybe it might be best to -welcome- them as allies,people who're hurt by the same bloody system albeit in somewhat different ways, rather than go, no, this is OUR treehouse, go make your own, and lalalalala can't hear you anyway.


what -is- it with some people?


Lisa Harney said...

I would like to add Remembering Our Dead: A website dedicated to preserving the memory of individuals murdered by transgender hate and killed by transgender prejudice.

Lisa Harney said...

Okay, a few more:

Gwen Araujo

Tyra Hunter

Brandon Teena

Robert Eads

These are just examples. There's all the women who can't get work because they're trans, or who were kicked out of their homes for being trans, and who end up in survival prostitution. There's trans men and women who lose their families and jobs during or after transition.

Oh, there's definitely real harm here. It's not the emotional harm of rejection from MWMF. That's minor. It's the harm that kills that we get.

assembling words to armory, she waits... said...

why can't people just let others sit and grieve for a minute? PEOPLE ARE DYING. PEOPLE ARE SAD. no one deserves to have their time assaulted when they're just trying to get their heads together, collectively mourn ANOTHER loss, and regroup.

Anonymous said...
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belledame222 said...

Dear increasingly tiresome tinfoilbot: I had lunch with the gods yesterday, and they told me that if you leave one more comment on my blog they will IMMEDIATELY smite you with lightning and crickets, and you will have NO chance of being favored EVER AGAIN.

Lisa Harney said...

Definition of hurt:

Found with both shoulders broken, 40% of face burned, one breast removed - signs of physical assault, being doused in gasoline, and set on fire, in a drug-induced coma.

This happened to a trans woman in Indiana this past weekend:

belledame222 said...

oh god