Julia, on April 30th, 2008 at 9:51 am Said:
An interesting thing to me about cookies is that it seems to pop up more often in white/POC interactions than it does in interactions between other groups. For instance, I can’t even remember the last time I saw a straight ally want cookies from gay people. It seems like most straight allies have gay friends or support the gay community out of basic human decency, and the cookie thing just isn’t as much of an issue. Obviously, I only have personal experience with one small corner of the world, so maybe cookie-begging is more universal than I think it is. Either way, there’s no Nice White Lady equivalent for other ‘isms (if there is, it’s not as widely propagated), and I think that’s just evidence of the culturally entrenched desire white people have to feel powerful over POCs. It’s really fucking depressing.
I -have- noticed that, well, yeah, online at least, there isn't as much -obvious-
friction within at least the -progressive-to-feminist- 'sphere wrt
straight/gay as there is white/PoC, no. not at the moment anyway.
otoh...I'm sitting here thinking: how much of that is actual "better
decency" or better comfort zone, whatever, and how much of that is
just the sheer overwhelming heteronormativity of the whole fucking
joint in the first place, and how -used- to it a lot of us are?
'cause you know, a lot of the time, it's easy enough to tune out; it's
not like we haven't had tons of practice. I have, okay.
or...I dunno...but, yeah, anyone remember the aftermath of the '04
election? All the yapping and snarling and selfish selfish SELFISH
gay people for demanding -marriage- in such a crucial year, we RUINED
it for EVERYBODY? I do. among a number of people who damn well
should've known better (thinking of certain virtual comms, for instance, Democratic
Underground, other such places i haunted then).
and boy, i can remember at least one "friend" who clearly wanted a
cookie for deigning to come stay at my apartment while she checked out
the Dwama school even -after- I came out to her, as uncomfortable as
she was, because, you know, she ellipsed, I might put a -move- on
or, y'know, how -hard- it was for blahblee because of hir religious
background and garsh can't help one's instinctive recoiling, i mean i
LIKE you as a PERSON and all but...
mm. I dunno.