Oh if only wank were a fossil fuel

Indeed.

(h/t Ilyka)

"YOU'RE NOT LISTENNNNNNINNNNNNNNG!!!! I DON'T WANT IT NOW!"

It's the PRINCIPLE of the thing, and DON'T YOU FORGET IT, BUB.

and lest we forget:

The Internets IS Srs Bzns. As is Life, the Universe, and Everything. And where better to go for a healthy reminder of this Truth than the fanwank community. Maud bless us, every one.

p.s. my ponies hate you, too.

"But Doc, it feels so good when I stop."

Harold Bloom IS my sister!

From everything I've read, from the anecdotes that I've heard, from the fanvids I've watched, from the dreams I've had, especially those that involve my going back to school and/or losing teeth, Harold Bloom is an intellectual who cares deeply about maintaining standards. He is one of the few people in academia that has the courage to say that JK Rowling is cliched, and that is a message that benefits all writers, including JK Rowling, because it gives her something to strive for. It does not surprise me that there are many so-called writers unable to respect the integrity of their Structure. It does not surprise me that there are many academics who are unable to hear what Harold has to say when being against the decay of everything good and pure about the Canon and Civilization is called ""pompous" and "reactionary" and "chode-esque." When people who read Harry Potter can only defend themselves by saying "well, at least it's better than 'Twilight.'" When four out of five absinthe-addled penguins can write better than Stephanie Meyer with one flipper tied behind their backs. As if there is any logic in that. As if Twilight is "literature." As if penguins would even drink absinthe if it weren't for the international cartels flooding Antarctica with the stuff. It is saddening but not surprising.

Anyway, I think we've all had our say here. I am not interested in continuing this conversation. In fact, I'm not even interested in starting a conversation. I don't care to be "deconstructed" by the posties, thank you VERY much. This conversation is over. Over! LALALALALALALALALALALA ---beeeeeeeeep--

Hiatus-ish.

I'm trying to attend to Real Life duties as well as finally catch up on some other writing, so am recusing myself from much of the blogosphere, at least, till further notice.

Okay, there's some kind of Universal Principle Of Something here, just can't quite name it yet.

Am belatedly zeroing in on the comments of a random troll Queen Emily had and was later mocking, because, well...look at this:

I really would rather be the loneliest person in the world than adapt my opinions (which you missed, by the way) in order to have friends. Fair weather friends, and those who demand compliance to some view before they will be "friends" are such a waste of time, wouldn't you agree? I'd rather have enemies than friends like that. At least with enemies, you know someone hates you. With friends who demand some adherence to a principle, you have no way of knowing where their loyalty and friendship lie. Such a lonely existence. Friends! Who cares if I do or don't? At least my friends aren't required to pass an ideological test!

I really would rather be the loneliest person in the world than adapt my opinions (which you missed, by the way).

Ayn Rand, is that you? Camille? Bueller? no, not that...

Dear Person(s): "adapting your opinions" is part of -life.- There's a fine line between "being true to oneself" and "being so ego-invested that the slightest hint of the gentlest disagreement threatens the entire fragile structure." Bless your heart.

It is an excellent distillation of the crucial ingredient in 90% of arguments (on the Internets and elsewhere) that have put these fine permanent dents in my forehead, though, so thank you.

Derailing for Dummies!!

It's So Easy! Just Add Assholery And Stir!

(found via helen-bop, dilettante, Ren Ev)

I had often pondered attempting something as erm multi-purpose as this. Closest I got was here, I think. This is way better.

My favorite bits:

You're Arguing With Opinions Not Fact

If you really want to excel as a Privileged Person® you need to learn to value data, statistics, research studies and empirical evidence above all things, but especially above Lived Experience©.

You can pretend you are oblivious to the fact most studies have been carried out by Privileged People® and therefore carry inherent biases, and insist that the Marginalised Person™ produce “Evidence” of what they‘re claiming.

Their Lived Experience© does not count as evidence, for it is subjective and therefore worthless.

and

A In B Situation Is Not Equivalent To X In Y Situation

Your Marginalised Person™ may put in a last-ditch effort to be patient and reasonable by using an analogy. If you are yourself a member of a Marginalised Community™ exercising privilege over the group you’re arguing with, the Marginalised Person™ may use an example of discrimination towards your community and how there are parallels in discrimination towards theirs. This will be to try and appeal to your basic humanity and provide you with an experience you can relate to, hoping you will use that relation to apply compassion.

Don’t worry! You can still get out of this one!

Simply become indignant and be very sure to emphasise that your experience is absolutely and one hundred per cent unique and there are no similarities whatsoever between the two situations. Be sure that you are very derisive of their experience, thereby indicating you believe it unworthy of consideration. You must also behave insulted, so as to indicate their issues are so worthless that it's deeply offensive your own would be compared to them!

Of course, the Marginalised Person™ was not trying to equate the two, simply trying to provide grounds for commonality. It’s very important not to give an inch, however, so feign utter ignorance of this at all costs.

Remember: you want them to feel they really are less than human. It weakens their position and that’s important if you want to win.

and

You Have A False Consciousness

In conversation, there are few things as degrading, enraging and hurtful than to tell someone their experiences are false, or that their perception of them is.

The idea behind this one is usually that oppressed people are simply too oppressed to know they’re oppressed and therefore Privileged People® have to share their wisdom and insight with them.

This one crops up a lot in issues that affect women: women who enjoy dressing in conventionally feminine ways (they’re engrained in the patriarchal construct of femininity and therefore are incapable of making a choice), women who are kinky, regardless of the gender of the person they play with (they’re engrained in the patriarchal construct of gender roles and therefore are incapable of making a choice) and sex workers who claim to enjoy their work and/or practice it with autonomy (they’re engrained in the patriarchal construct of female sexuality and therefore are incapable of making a choice).

But this also affects People with Disabilities who are routinely told they simply don’t understand what is best for them and need a Privileged Person® to make decisions for them. People with Disabilities are not able to make any decisions for their own protection. Remember to stress that: it’s for your own protection.

With the trans community, you must routinely deny their gender identity by equating their experiences as having happened to someone of the gender they were designated at birth. For example, denying the reality of gender dysmorphia means you can tell a trans woman her childhood experiences happened to a little boy, because that's how she was being raised, and so communicate your belief her reality as a little girl was false, thoroughly undermining it.

In arguments about race, it takes a slightly different form, generally in white people telling People of Colour that they’re “seeing race where none exists”. You, on the other hand, are “colour blind” and we live in “post-racial” times. It’s them who are making everything about race and their experience of racism in their daily lives is simply imagined. If only they could let it go, the whole world would live in post-racial harmony!

You really want to ignore any claims the Marginalised Person™ may make about having done thorough research, deconstructing and unpacking of these issues. You also really want to deny their autonomy. There are few things so infuriating as infantilising an adult and telling them they’re delusional about their own reality. But they need to understand that, no matter what, you know better.

random general thinky thoughts about conflict and school and spirituality and life and shit

So, I'm reading these books on conflict resolution, one entitled "The Leader as Martial Artist" (look, Maw, I'm a Badass Ninja! (TM) (et seq), you're a ninja, he's a ninja, she's a ninja, wouldn't cha like to be a ninja too...)

...which is very much in line with the sort of schooling I'm getting right now, trying to wed the personal ("innerwork") with the political ("worldwork") and the spiritual/metaphysical (he speaks of "timespirits" as a concept, which sounds pretentious until you realize o yeah it's just the translation of "zeitgeist," I guess that works),

...and doing the work at school, and it's all very nice, and i think i'm like getting all evolved and shit, you know.

and so then I'm talking on the phone to the best friend, and he's betching about his asshole boss, and I was all, "You should just, like, kill her."

and then I was all, y'know, at the same time I'm theoretically and - hopefully- practically learning to be this more wise and compassionate etc. etc. etc.? increasingly and more quickly I find myself coming to the conclusion in various given dwamas:

"Fuck, no, I don't want to deal with that bullshit. Where's my brick?"

OI LOVE MOI BRICK!!!1!!

"Maybe we're seeing another side to belledame. A more caring, considerate--" *thunk*

"AHHH, FECK IT!!"

More good advice

Trollspotting: a book-length guide

No direct link, you have to click on "Trollspotting" once there. Geared toward neopagans but fun for the whole family. (h/t Sunflower)

"Well, the troll started demanding food from everyone in the village. Trolls are very hungry creatures, you know. So, we all started feeding the troll."

"Couldn't Mr. and Mrs. Mayor keep up with its appetite?"

"Not after a while, no. The troll always complained that they never gave it enough food. They were always starving the poor thing!"

"You just said trolls are very hungry creatures. Do you imagine anyone could have kept up with the appetite of this troll? All by themselves?"

"Ummm... Probably not."

"So the troll's complaints were blatantly unfair. Just like with the sunglasses, and the bath."

The sheriff looked uncomfortable. "I guess so."

"Kind of a lie, you think?"

"Well, the troll explained how reality is subjective anyway, and it felt like they were starving it."

"I see. What did Mr. and Mrs. Mayor say about the complaints?"

"Uhm, well, the troll asked us to keep the complaints quiet. Afraid of beatings, you know. And then, next election, we got us a new mayor. One who wouldn't be so mean. You know?"

Jack sighed. "Doesn't seem quite fair. You got rid of the Mayor, on the word of a troll whose tales just don't add up, and you never even bothered to check those stories out with the Mayor or his wife. Sad case. So, whatever happened to them?"

"Well, after a while, uhm, the troll, uhm, well, sort of ate them."

"Ate them?"

"Uhm, yes. Ate them. Mr. and Mrs. Mayor. Both."

"I see. Did you get rid of the troll after that?"

"Certainly not! It was so cute! And besides, can you blame it, after the way they'd treated the poor thing? No, it moved in with Old Isobel."

"Why in the world would Old Isobel let a person-eating troll move in with her?"

"The troll explained that no one has the right to impose their system of ethics upon anyone else."

"I see. How did Old Isobel get along with the troll?"

"Pretty well. Uhm. Until it ate her."

...I thought we had already determined the answer is "42."

.
Did we really need to "imperil the earth?"

and I mean, really, wouldn't you think: you've seen one particle pile-up, you've seen them all? a bit like arguments on the Internets really...and yet, still, you think, THIS time, I might actually figure out the Meaning Of Life! if I could only -understand- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE, and WHY.