Monday, February 23, 2009

Deep fucking thinky thoughts on recent online events

such as they are, and such as I have energy for. (I know you will be thrilled to read them, because they are from Me, and as all such things are inherently, endlessly fascinating):


She's got a point there, kids, srsly, who was supposed to give a shit in the first place?, gorgeous, ohmyfuckingGOD, shut UP, can't deal with the meta/irony today, sorry, other extremely deep, abstract and difficult thinky thoughts you should read, sums it up, pop-psych "I'm Okay-I'm Okay, What Is This "You" Concept That You Speak Of? language gets over/misused too, unfortunately, especially when it's employed as yet another defense wrt systemic problems like racism, sorry this shit never seems to fucking end, and word, word, word, word, word and -snerk-, word, word, fail, ETA and an accurate observation of still more epic fail.

Elsewhere:

absotively, sorry, I can't even read this shit, speaking of "torture", kthx buh bye then.



-returns to studying for RL exams/papers n shit more or less-

ETA: And yet, you're still talking. Like, A LOT (hint: "we're sorry, we fucked up, shutting up and listening now" and then -doing it- would've been better, rly, and yes, it's been done before, many times, among other things it's called "Hugo Schwyzer," and if that doesn't strike fear into your heart then yeah nothing more to say here)

144 comments:

Ilyka said...

Lord, I wish the next time the urge hit to bust out 2800 words on this crap I would just DO THIS. It's all 97% of it is worth, really.

Good luck with exams and stuff.

belledame222 said...

Thank youse!

queen emiliana said...

Deep like a deep thing, you.

DaisyDeadhead said...

Nothing about Apostate's applause for bigotry and HIV? I'm kinda surprised.

Everyone seems to have given her a pass except for me and Renee.

belledame222 said...

um, I called her out rather explicitly and a number of times at Renee's, but sure, I might add the links.

Kristin said...

Daisy: As a queer person, I find shit like what Apostate pulled a little too toxic and offensive to even engage. You want thanks for being a Good Ally? Um... Yeah, have a cookie. Whatever.

And, yeah, I applauded Renee at her blog too.

Kristin said...

Well, good luck with the exams anyway. I should follow your example atm. Ugh...

DaisyDeadhead said...

Thanks Belle... I mean, since it cost me a banning! (And I know you saw these, since you commented, but for the benefit of your readers, here are my banned comments from Apostate's blog.)

And my very first atheist banning!!! As Huck Finn would say: like to bust.

:D

Kai said...

Wow, belledame, that's quite a densely linky little paragraph you've assembled there! Hehe, I like the "what is this 'you' concept" thing, very apt. Also had to chuckle at the "ohmyfuckingGOD, shut UP". That whole thread was just a little too much for me.

I saw your comments at Renee's about that ridiculous Apostate character. Totally agreed. Fine, she's "young and growing"; and also a complete asshole and delusional narcissist who hates most of the world and celebrates other people's disease and suffering. Yay. What a disgusting human being.

antiprincess said...

it's like refrigerator-magnet poetry, but linky.

good luck on exams, honey. how's the west coast treating you?

belledame222 said...

Hi, Kai! Hi, AP, thank you. It's been really good, actually. How's you? How's le bebe?

Donna said...

OH HOLY FUCK! OH DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF JEBUS! I CAN'T BELIEVE BELLE IS THINKING DEEP FUCKING THINKY THOUGHTS ON RECENT ONLINE EVENTS! *whimper* *sob* *gurgle* *burble*

(Don't mind me. Just living up to my rep as a drama queen. For those who don't know, it's the gurgle burble that gets ya every time.)

Kristin said...

"OH HOLY FUCK! OH DEAR SWEET MOTHER OF JEBUS! I CAN'T BELIEVE BELLE IS THINKING DEEP FUCKING THINKY THOUGHTS ON RECENT ONLINE EVENTS! *whimper* *sob* *gurgle* *burble*"

Donna: You are awesome.

Kristin said...

So, Donna, I think we should have a Very Serious Conversation about this whole thing. Go meta with it, if you will. In your view, would a *white woman* run the risk of being called a "drama queen" for using the "gurgle burble" thing? I mean, clearly, being a white woman, I REALLY REALLY REALLY need to be thinking about what all of this has to do with ME PERSONALLY. 'Cause racism is really ALL ABOUT ME.

Kristin said...

Oh, and hey, you know what I'm going to start claiming... I'm a Race Traitor just like Heart. I've Turned My Back on my damn privilege, so it would in fact be racist *to call me* a Drama Queen in the first place. See... After becoming convinced of the Importance of Speaking My Truth, I have decided that I am no longer going to be White Identified. 'Cause I am *that fucking awesome* of an ally. And I don't *feel* white identified, and it's all about validating one's own personal feelings about the whole thing innit?

Kristin said...

Oh, hey, one more question, Donna, since we're having this dialogue. Would you mind--since we're friends and all--if I used you personally as a baseball bat with which to beat up other White Feminists? Y'know, the ones who aren't quite as Intelligent as Me? For example, I could say, "Hey, I've got this WOC friend!" It doesn't flow as well as "I've got a Black friend" or anything, but y'know... This could be really useful to me personally. I mean, damn, I could actually use you to prove *so many important arguments.*

Kristin said...

Ah-hem... Thing with me and snark is... I turn evil. So, I'm gonna STFU now. But, yeah, I share everyone's exasperation with all this bullshit going around. Hate it. And disgusted--more than anything--with the fact that it never fails but to end up centering white women again.

Kristin said...

One last thing, though, of course, I would never want to Name Any Names about whom I may (or may not) have just been parodying. It's My Truth after all, so why would I want to get into the sticky business of *substantively calling anyone out*?

/final snark

*no, seriously, really turning it off so I can go get some shit done*

Donna said...

Kristin, just remember if you are writing from the hip and it's only about telling your truth then you can get away with saying anything! If those mean WOC believe you said something racist, then you just remind them that you aren't one of those assy bigoted MEN! Also we "choose" to be offended, and don't you forget that, because your intentions are always good. In our dramatic whipped up frenzy we are likely to use the wrong "tone", so if you need to deflect and derail, go there, and let us WOC know that we are speaking to a WHITE WOMAN and we damned well better show you the respect you are owed due to your skin color.

Oh yes, of course you may use me as a club against other white women, but even better, you should use me against other WOC. Just tell them their whole argument is invalidated because of your one WOC friend. I'm not the best club to bludgeon with though, there are some WOC who have left their people and religion and now spend their entire life around white people. They never agree with any other WOC and other WOC never agree with them. So they are really perfect for your purposes.

Last, you should never name names. You should only get angry at other people who don't name names. Because as a white woman you must use passive aggressiveness, your fragility, and if you need to bring out the big guns, your tears, to win any argument.

Kristin said...

"Because as a white woman you must use passive aggressiveness, your fragility, and if you need to bring out the big guns, your tears, to win any argument."

*sobs inconsolably* You just... You just can't... You can't know what it's like to be ME, man. You haven't lived my history. You don't KNOW my truth. I had a COMPLEX AND MULTIFACETED UPBRINGING, you see, and my feelings about race are extremely difficult to understand. I don't think you could possibly understand them--and NOT because I'm a racist who thinks yer dumb, but because I just think they're too deep for anyone to ever really "get."

"In our dramatic whipped up frenzy we are likely to use the wrong "tone", so if you need to deflect and derail, go there, and let us WOC know that we are speaking to a WHITE WOMAN and we damned well better show you the respect you are owed due to your skin color."

THANK YOU for giving me permission to GO THERE. That is fantastic, and it will really free me up to speak my truth more...You know, Freely. See, anytime I piss someone off, I can just say, "HEY, I have a WOC friend who is TOTALLY FUCKING COOL with how I roll!" Even better, in blogwarss, you can come out and go, "Hey, assholes, I'm a WOC, and I've got NO PROBLEMS with Kristin. What do you think of THAT?" That way, you can kinda set things up so I can move into defending my Race Traitor Credentials. It'll be awesome, you'll totally serve the Cause of My Personal Validation as a Person.

"They never agree with any other WOC and other WOC never agree with them. So they are really perfect for your purposes."

Ooooh... Do you keep a list? That would make things much more efficient. I mean, I'm a White Woman. I've got so much SHIT to do, I couldn't possibly spend time getting to know people. Nah, I think we're gonna need an Official List so I'll know who such women are. Do you think they'll be cool with my "non-white identified" status? 'Cause I won't go into anything where I'm gonna have my Personal Identity disputed. I R fragile like that, y'know.

Thank you SO MUCH, Donna. I need MOAR WOC Friends just like you who can facilitate my Race in America Education like this.

Donna said...

BWAHAHAHAHA! Snarkity goodness WIN!

Kristin said...

Disclaimer: *The dumbass character that Kristin is playing at this moment is a purely fictional creation, despite any perceived resemblances to an amalgamation of White Feminist Bloggers. You may or may not have had the pleasure of reading them yet.*

Disclaimers are crucial because they allow Nice White Women to get out of accusations of racism *even if they in fact say something racist.* The disclaimer assures the audience of the writer's good faith, and isn't that great for everyone? I mean, White Women everywhere need as much of the benefit of the doubt as we can get. And anything that's good for us is good for ALL PEOPLE. The Disclaimer ensures that our White Women Friends will be there to back us up, in addition to our Nice WOC friends. It's very helpful that way.

Kristin said...

Disclaimer: *The dumbass character that Kristin is playing at this moment is a purely fictional creation, despite any perceived resemblances to an amalgamation of White Feminist Bloggers. You may or may not have had the pleasure of reading them yet.*

In other words, of course, not my fault if someone chooses to be offended by me. People sometimes have a hard time appreciating me because I'm so brutally honest. That there disclaimer should help folks to jump from "Wait a second, should I be offended by this?" into "TOTAL AWESOMENESS." That whole thing where you're not sure if someone's gonna like what you have to say or not... Why not just bypass that awkwardness? The disclaimer is the key to being Free to Speak My Awesome Truth Without Being Held Accountable. And that's all that really matters.

Donna said...

An important rule to remember: disclaimers, excuses, emotional displays, and pleas for benefit of the doubt are only effective if one is a white woman. An inhuman WOC she beast should never attempt any of these actions. Good WOCs, this means you too!

belledame222 said...

"you two."

Yeah, I mean...with *ahem* some people; since this has come up before, with me I mean: what part of "yes, I'm aware of my own attraction to dwama, and it STILL isn't mutually exclusive with my impression that you are acting like a fuckwit being correct" wasn't clear?

Kristin said...

Wait, who are you suggesting is acting like a fuckwit? 'Cause if that was meant for me, did I mention that I have a WOC friend? AND did you read the disclaimer?

Kristin said...

Also, Belle, don't forget that I will RAISE YOU my White Woman's Tears here whenever the circumstances call for me. Don't fuck with me, man. I'm tough like that. Except I'm fragile too. That's what's all so *complicated* about it.

Donna said...

Oh boy, this could be trouble if Belle brings out her WOC friend too. Then we will have to fight for the honor of our respective white woman friends!

Oh wait...I'm Belle's friend too...

*smacks self around*

Kristin said...

"Then we will have to fight for the honor of our respective white woman friends!"

*omg dies*

Kristin said...

Yeah, but Donna, I'm calling Belle OUT. That's how I'm being a Race Traitor and everything! I'm totally flaming a Nice White Woman.

Kristin said...

Damnit, Donna, yer s'posed to gimme a cookie now. Hop to it.

Donna said...

Kristen, I maded u a cookie, but I eated it. OM NOM NOM!

Kristin said...

You only made one?

Donna said...

Kristin, I brot youz a flower nsted.

Kristin said...

Hey, Donna, I've gotta say... That's really harsh--that you ate that cookie. Would I be correct in pstulating that this could qualify as an example of Morphing Into the Oppressor?

Donna said...

Why yes, yes you can say I am morphing into the oppressor! *stuffs the other two dozen cookies into mouth* OM NOM NOM!

ArrogantWorm said...

Did the cookie have chocolate bits? Inquiring minds need to know.

ArrogantWorm said...

...damn stomach.

queen emiliana said...

Oh Donna, you narcissistic trollop. It's *you* who spends all your time at self-help therapy masquerading as blogging.

Yeah, that's right. I went there. I ladled out some steaming hot milky truth soup and some anti-PC crackers. It's not *my* fault you can't stomach the taste of white girl truth.

Kristin said...

"I ladled out some steaming hot milky truth soup and some anti-PC crackers. It's not *my* fault you can't stomach the taste of white girl truth."

Only kind of truth worth telling if you ask me. I know you didn't, but I'm feeling the need to self-express anyway.

All you're doing is being rational and clear-headed. Telling the kind of Truth Only a Clear Eyed Lesbian White Girl could. Anyway, you can't help it if some WOC Drama Queen chooses to assume you're an offensive git.

Donna said...

AW, you betcha, and nuts. Those cookies had nuts!

Queen Emiliana, I can handle the truth soup! It's AW with the stomach ache. It's because of the croutons of your just jealousy!

Strumpets and brazen hussies, the lot of you!

queen emiliana said...

*looks down at soup*

What is this bullcrap? I didn't order the Mean WoC minestrone!

This never woulda happened at working class NYU, dammit.

Kristin said...

"It's because of the croutons of your just jealousy!"

OMG, no you DIDN'T. Bring me the smelling salts, y'all.

Kristin said...

"What is this bullcrap? I didn't order the Mean WoC minestrone!"

I know, right? You expect to be thanked for being such a Nice White Woman, and you get nothing but histrionics.

Speaking of histrionics. I think it's time for me to cry again.

Kristin said...

Anyway, Donna: I already decided you were one of the Nice and Acceptable WOC. What's going on here anyway? You can't just change things up mid-discussion! I mean, I put you on the Nice WOC list and everything.

Queen Emiliana: You poor soul, I can't imagine what it must've been like for you, a Woman Who is Not Rich, to go to school with all those trust fund fuckheads at NYU. *hugs*

Donna said...

Kristin, you should know...Queen Emiliana has a friend with a house bigger than hers, pool, three car garage, you know, like normal middle class people. She's very poor and her mother dresses her funny. (and probably just jealous!)

Kristin said...

Oh, FUCK. I'm being so inconsiderate about class. Fuck me, really, I should stop while I'm ahead.

*momentarily thinks about starting a blog in this Voice, then realizes that people would believe she was being serious if she did so*

Kristin said...

I can relate, you know, my mom once made me were this ugly pair of puke green corduroy pants. Fifth grade. I never recovered or felt cool again. It had everything to do with the fact that my family was severely strapped for funds when I was growing up. My god, I hope none of the rest of you ever saw anything quite that hideous as a child. It was hard for me to come back from that. A real testament to my working class grit and ingenuity, I think.

Kristin said...

Ooops, I meant "wear."

uppitybrownwoman said...

WHAT.

I hadn't been following the latest "happy times" very closely, except a little bit of the aftermath of Courtney's post.

Drama queens? SERIOUSLY?! It's funny (funny like a rusty nail) how the dynamic between woc and white women manages to stay the same, all while being surprising every time there's another blowup.

Kristin said...

uppitybrownwoman: Yep. We've mostly been using exact quotes too. It's been...rather special this time around.

belledame222 said...

Wait. WAIT. Did QE just call me a -trollop-? On my -own blog?!?!?!?!?!

You know, i don't think anyone here appreciates my heroic self-restraint. If you ONlY KNEW how many times I sat here, breathing shallowly, fingers hovering over the keyboard, just BARELY holding onto the impulse to call you--I did NOT want to go there, you DRIVE ME TO IT--a shameless, gutter floozie. And I didn't. Not once! Not ONCE.

My God, I even nodded gravely when you were droning on about "your" ""stuff" a few times, TRYING to look like I was remotely interested. I held the door open for you that one time, even though it made my wrist ache and it was annoying as hell listening to you wheeze and gasp for breath as you lugged that 500 pound bag--like, what, I'm supposed to feel GUILTY that you're holding this 500 pound BAG. After ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU. -deep breath-

And look at the thanks I get! Kicked in the teeth. Dagger up the strap. Herring in my tea. And you're sitting here, even now, LAUGHING. AT ME. STOP LAUGHING. STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

--oh, wait a minute, that was actually directed at Donna, wasn't it. Oh well, then, that's totally different. Objectively speaking. Carry on. I'll just sit here and offer diplomatic and pragmatic advice, whether you actually want it or not.

belledame222 said...

--wait a minute. Who are you? Who am I? This is not my beautiful blog! This is not my beautiful life...!


I WUZ WOBBED DAMMIT

U OWE ME

Kristin said...

"My God, I even nodded gravely when you were droning on about "your" ""stuff" a few times, TRYING to look like I was remotely interested. I held the door open for you that one time."

Belle, I don't know how you do it. You are such a model of modest and gentle self-restraint, as you point out. A veritable saint, you are. And a true inspiration. Your utter selflessness never ceases to amaze me. I am truly blessed to have such devoted feminist sisters.

***Mmmkay, now this is starting to make me throw up a little in my mouth.***

Kristin said...

"like, what, I'm supposed to feel GUILTY that you're holding this 500 pound BAG."

It's downright unfeminist to expect women to feel guilty for anything. I mean, you worked *hard* for the privilege of not carrying that 500 pound bag. Seriously, what kind of anti-feminist would criticize you for that?

I really don't get why we can't just be happy when women succeed. I mean, I'm *glad* you didn't have to carry that fucking bag. How idiotic to be *jealous* of such a thing! You were able to avoid injuring your back with that stupid bag, and I applaud you.

We won't be able to accomplish anything for Women if we don't take care of ourselves. And if that means avoiding the kind of third wave feminist cliques where people who don't operate in lockstep with the dominant view are silenced, then SO FUCKING BE IT. I get so fucking tired of all that droning... ON and ON about privilege. Get over it, people! Stop being jealous! How can other women not *get* that?

Kristin said...

I would even say, Belle, that that act of refusal (to carry the bag) itself constitutes a feminist act. It's all about the journey, you know.

Kristin said...

"STOP LAUGHING. STOP IT RIGHT NOW."

I really can't.

belledame222 said...

You're right, of course. Thank you, I feel so validated now.

You know what really gets me, though? I held that door open even though I -totally didn't have to,- and I didn't hear her say "thank you." At the time I sort of excused it away because she was wheezing so hard and I thought maybe she was going to pass out or something and to be honest I kind of stepped away from her quickly as soon as the door barely closed because i didn't want her to throw up on my shoes or anything.

But...now I'm thinking, you know, it's really not good for my self-esteem for me to invalidate my own feelings like that. I was MAD, when she didn't say thank you. Gosh darn it. Wow, that feels good. I always felt so bad, about feeling mad, you know?

You know, I bet if I went over to QE and shared this with her she'd be overjoyed that I was reaching this level of self-awareness. Especially if I forgive her for not thanking me for holding the door open. Wow. This is gonna be great!!

belledame222 said...

Kristin, I forgive you for not being able to stop laughing, because I realize you're just doing the best you can, just like all of us. We're all special just the way we are. Except for the mean bullying -other- people who trample on our delicate feelings and don't appreciate us properly. But they're not really "people" anyway.

Kristin said...

"Kristin, I forgive you for not being able to stop laughing, because I realize you're just doing the best you can, just like all of us. We're all special just the way we are."

I am deeply touched. This almost made me cry.

belledame222 said...

Ha ha! Oops, that didn't come out the way I intended it to. Don't mind me. I was just speaking my hip from my truth, and it doesn't always make sense to other people when I do that, because it's complicated. Hell, it doesn't even make sense to -me- most of the time, isn't that funny? Communication is really about each of us speaking our own truth about ourselves, whether anyone else knows or cares what the fuck we're on about or not. Which is totally great, because that way we don't have to listen to what -they- have to say. It's just polite to smile and make appreciative noises at each other every once in a while. Say, did I ever mention I really like vanilla? Also, I have a wart on the heel of my foot, but I've decided it's actually kind of cute.

Kristin said...

"Especially if I forgive her for not thanking me for holding the door open. Wow. This is gonna be great!!"

Wow... Talk about an inspiring new level of graciousness! I think she would be thrilled to see how much you've grown.

Kristin said...

"Hell, it doesn't even make sense to -me- most of the time, isn't that funny?"

Oh my god, I know EXACTLY what you mean. Wow... Just... Wow...

queen emiliana said...

I think I would. I would also be *totally* understanding that your need to treat me as male supersedes my need to not be.

belledame222 said...

Oh well yeah, I figured that part went without saying.

By the way, since you're already used to carrying all that weight, d'you mind putting on this backpack for me? Of course you don't. Thanks! See you!...

queen emiliana said...

*falls over from her White Woman's Burden*

Kristin said...

"*falls over from her White Woman's Burden*"

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Kristin said...

"Communication is really about each of us speaking our own truth about ourselves, whether anyone else knows or cares what the fuck we're on about or not."

Personally, I'm just glad we're not Drama Queens like Donna here. You know? It's so nice to be able to consider this stuff with such steely eyed from the hip strength and resolve. I mean, it's HARD to bear the weight of the White Woman's Burden, and no one can understand that unless they KNOW from experience. It's just such a relief to me that I'm not prone to that kind of Drama Queen-esque emoting that some of those WOC bloggers seem to revel in. It's just so...distasteful, is the thing.

Kristin said...

"I WUZ WOBBED DAMMIT."

When Hillary was robbed, we were ALL robbed.

GallingGalla said...

i haven't commented on this thread yet, cos i've just been in total *awe* at the excellent level of CLEAR EYE LESBIAN WHITE GIRL GAZE on display here, the kind of super-clear gaze that you only get when your eyes are washed daily with many many tears.

***runs off to down another bottle of pepto-bismol***

Donna said...

The steaming hot bowl of truth soup has given you indigestion, eh, GG? You can't handle the truth!

Kristin said...

GG, hon, we only just got started.

Kristin said...

Anyway, girls, I was thinking about going out for some overpriced sushi for lunch today. Any takers? I mean, a girl's gotta pamper herself, right?

So, I propose: Overpriced sushi followed by soy vegan lattes! I know this great place where you can get 'em for less than $7! And I know yer all thinkin' "geez, I don't wanna be slummin' it with my lattes," but here's what I say... This is a way to practice solidarity with the working classes. It's important to be conscientious about such things during an economic downturn.

In the meantime, though, what do y'all think I should have for breakfast? I can't decide between ham/eggs/bacon/buttered toast or some organic rolled oatmeal spliced with a bit of cinnanom, raisins, nutmeg, and skim milk. Opinions?

Oh, and also.... I've been thinking about starting a blog called Being with Kristin at Breakfast Time. I can't think of anything more Feminist to do than sharing the details of my life with others, even down to the most mundane and supposedly "trivial" things I do. Doesn't everyone know that feminists *never* do anything trivial? That kind of sharing--getting down and dirty and REAL--is the highest form of Feminist Activism in my humble view.

Kristin said...

Also, I know there are SCORES of people out there in the world who are dying to know what I have for breakfast each day--and what I'm thinking about in those nascent moments of the day. In the words of the great feminist folk singer/songwriter Tift Merritt:

"Sometimes a woman in the morning ought to have nothing to think about. Sit down and have a cup of coffee, hum a little while, think out loud."

And before you can thank me for offering to take you along on the journey, I'll just go ahead and say it: You're WELCOME. I'm gracious like that. If I didn't enjoy it so much, some people might think I had a martyr complex with all the selfless GIVING I do.

Kristin said...

Well, toodles, girls! I have learned so much from this! And I'm so relieved to have found a Nice WOC like Donna, even if she does act like a bit of a Drama Queen sometimes. *hugs and kisses*

Kristin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
belledame222 said...

Kristin, I would be honored if you shared your breakfast diaries with us, and I am sure I speak for all feminists, nay, all right-thinking human beings, everywhere, when I say this. In our vicarious interest in the minutest details of your daily routine, we can finally find that elusive "sisterly solidarity."

Just as long as I don't have to read about some annoyingly clueless entitled white -guy-'s Breakfast Of Privilege. But, I know you're -not- the MAN! LOL! What a relief, eh?

Oh, you know what would really make it? Be sure to take lots and lots of photos of yourself throughout the day. And, the breakfast.

Don't worry about making the writing particularly interesting or accessible to readers--I feel that what would be most "real" is reading the most -mundane details possible,- right down to how many times you went to the can and what brand of dental floss you use.

Donna said...

Kristin, I agree with Belle. You must speak your truth! This means telling us every random thought that goes through your head and all the mundane things you do throughout the day, which of course counts as "activism". Don't forget to tag it as "activism". Feminist consciousness demands it! And your breakfast blog does need rotating pictures, "Kristin eating toast with butter" "Kristin eating toast with grape jelly" "Kristin drinking a glass of orange juice" "Kristin holding a slice of bacon in one hand and a sausage in the other =I can't choose!=", "Kristin sitting looking on in horror as Donna eats all the cookies", etc.

GallingGalla said...

"The steaming hot bowl of truth soup has given you indigestion, eh, GG? You can't handle the truth!"

"GG, hon, we only just got started."

*sniffs* i have to admit it, as hard as it is, that i will never ever ever ever be able to fully understand TEH KLEER-EYED WITE GURL LEZBUN GAZE. thank you SOO MUCH, cleer-eyed wite gurl lezbuns and Nice WOC, for reminding me how grateful i should be that admitted me to the Good Trans Almost-Women Auxiliary (Gender-Smashing Instrument Division) in the first place. i shall now police myself to make sure i don't become a trans-meanie!! I wanna be a nice trans almost-woman!

Kristin said...

"Oh, you know what would really make it? Be sure to take lots and lots of photos of yourself throughout the day. And, the breakfast."

Oh, brilliant! I could load them into a slide show! You could follow me eating my breakfast from beginning to end.

Kristin said...

",- right down to how many times you went to the can and what brand of dental floss you use."

Oh, man, are we on the same wavelength! I was totally about to come back and post about how my every action is a Feminist Act, even down to the movement of my bowels. I don't think I'll take pics of that though, LOL.

Kristin said...

Donna, I really do hope those are not meant as sarcastic, snarky scare quotes around activism. 'Cause my acitvism is as REAL as it gets.

Kristin said...

"And your breakfast blog does need rotating pictures,"

Yes, yes, great minds.

Kristin said...

"i shall now police myself to make sure i don't become a trans-meanie!!"

Good idea. Just remember your place as Rhetorical Tool, and we'll be great.

Kristin said...

*Real Voice: This is starting to scare me a little, I'm so good at it. Could I turn into Them?*

Kristin said...

Another blog idea of mine:

What do you think of this?

"Reclaiming Marginalized Spaces: Why the Women Who Have 'Problems' with My Wealthy White Republican Brand of Feminism Are Just Jealous."

Or, maybe just... "Why Can't We All Just Get Along?"

Something like "Re-Centering the Center." 'Cause, srsly, feminism means that women like me should be RE-Centered instead of punished with De-Centering on account of our white backgrounds.

belledame222 said...

"Kristin sitting looking on in horror as Donna eats all the cookies",

I do rly srsly want to see a pic of this plz

Kristin said...

"I do rly srsly want to see a pic of this plz"

Sure, but the caption would need to read as follows:

"Donna Morphs into the Oppressor, and Kristin Cries."

GallingGalla said...

"Good idea. Just remember your place as Rhetorical Tool, and we'll be great."

i'll just be over here, nestling next to my fellow rhetorical tools in this fancy rhetorical toolbox. it's fancy and comfy and has its own cookie jar full of nice gender-smashed cookies, such a nice perk of being a rhetorical tool!

Kristin said...

Actually, no, the order is off:

"Kristin Weeps while Donna Morphs into the Oppressor."

What was that, GG, did you have something of substance to contribute? Opinions on the wording of the above caption, for instance?

Mandos said...

This has got to be one of the funniest threads on the interwebs.

Kristin said...

"This has got to be one of the funniest threads on the interwebs."

*beams*

queen emiliana said...

*attempts a bow*

Thank you thank you. We're here all week, try the $10.99 chicken parmigiana...

ArrogantWorm said...

My apologies for interrupting, but the $10.99 Chicken Parmagiana (comes with fresh greens and your choice of no less than four scrumptuous diet salad dressings) is only available to Activists.

Rhetorical Tools have their choice of Real Activists' Scraps or last weeks' meatloaf that no one wanted.

-Courtesy of the management

Kristin said...

I mean, I'd be willing to sell it to Non-Movement types at a $10-higher premium or something, maybe.

belledame222 said...

And you know, some people might say that it was "bad" to want to give the Rhetorical Tools our scraps and leavings while feasting on delicious overpriced Chicken Parmigiana ourselves (and making a profit off it!) But, I totally sympathize with where AW is coming from. I had a bad time with a Rhetorical Tool once, you see. I thought I was going to be able to use it to build my house, and instead it turned out to have another function altogether. And I found myself hating that tool of a Rhetorical Tool. And I wanted to punish it. So, I totally get where AW is coming from there, even though I know a lot of people wouldn't. I always have deep sympathy and compassion - I just can't help it, it's how I am.

Donna said...

Kristin, I found a cookie for you. It was in the back of the cupboard, could be a little stale, and has little chew marks. Mice, maybe? But here ya go!

*steals Kristin's delicious chicken parmigiana while she is distracted by moldy cookie*

Kristin said...

"I always have deep sympathy and compassion - I just can't help it, it's how I am."

Same here. It's like I have a light around me, to be honest. I radiate something very special. It might have to do with the fact that my skin is so pale that I look like a damn Glow Worm at night, but I don't think that's what it is. I'm talking more about This Inner Light of Mine.

belledame222 said...

and you do, you do have to let it shine. No matter where you are or who else is in the room. Even if they say "actually I have a splitting migraine right now and I specifically came into this room because it was nice and dark and I could unwind a little." You are special, and you must bring that light of yours wherever you go. Don't let them stifle you. You GO, honey. You just...go.

Kristin said...

"Even if they say "actually I have a splitting migraine right now and I specifically came into this room because it was nice and dark and I could unwind a little."

And I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE. LOUDLY.

FOR.

THE.

WORLD.

TO.

HEAR.

MY SHINING IS LOUD, GODDAMNIT, AND I WON'T BE HIDDEN UNDER A ROCK BY THE FUCKING HATERS.

MIGRAINES OF OTHERS BE DAMNED. *kick's Donna and her migraine in the face*

You (Donna) engage best through negative discourse anyway.

belledame222 said...
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belledame222 said...
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belledame222 said...
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Kristin said...

The thing about Donna and her stupid migraines is that... Her attempts to stifle my Beautiful Inner Light are abusive. It's not MY fucking fault that she has a migraine, you know?

When Donna first became abusive toward me in this way, it almost made me hateful toward the people who belong to Her Ethnic Group for a while. Some of the haters called My Truth "hate speech" for a while, but I'm just glad that some good people came through to help me heal and process from all the pain.

Now I just LET THE LIGHT FLOW no matter how it might affect anyone else. It's not about THEM. It's about me and my journey. You know what? One day, my light might heal the whole world.

belledame222 said...

In fact, Kristin, I'm feeling so moved right now that I am going to dedicate a song to you. To "us," really, insofar as there can ever be such a concept.

It is one of the best, most powerful songs... ever written... about self-preservation... and dignity.

Its universal message crosses all boundaries...
and instills one... with the hope that it's not too late... to better ourselves.

Since, Kristin,it's impossible in this world we live in to empathize with others, we can always empathize with ourselves.

It's an important message. Crucial, really.

And it's beautifully stated on the album.*

source

belledame222 said...

Just hold on to that, Kristin. I want you to hold onto that message. -No matter that they take from you, they can't take away your dignity.- Even when your ass is flapping out in the wind and everyone is telling you, "hey, your ass is flapping out in the wind!" Let it flap, Kristin. Let it. FLAP.

Kristin said...

Oh, Belle, you speak words that serve as a balm to my soul.

I just hooked up the song to my speaker system, turned the volume WAY UP, and BELTED. THAT. SONG. THE. FUCK. OUT.

My neighbor just knocked on the door and asked me to stop because she has a migraine and can't stop vomiting with the high voltage. And you know what I told her??

I said: "FUCK YOU, LADY. I am LETTING. IT. FLAP." IT was beautiful. It brought me to tears.

Kristin said...

You know, I'm wondering if maybe I could actually be The Next American Idol? I can pull Whitney OFF, y'all.

belledame222 said...

-dissolves in a flood of sheer raw emotion at the powerfulness and truthiness of this shared moment-

belledame222 said...

You already are the American Idol, Kristin. You already are.

Kristin said...

This really reminds me of this time when I went to Starbucks... And the guy standing in line in front of me couldn't really concentrate to order his latte because I just couldn't contain my Inner Light in line behind him (I could hardly stop singing, you know? LOUDLY.). He turned around and rolled his eyes at me, but I knew EXACTLY what he was trying to do, and I WON'T be silenced by the haters that way. They're abusive little fuckers. He finally got so agitated about the fact that he couldn't concentrate that he walked out of the store after paying, and I ended up getting his paid-for latte for free. Moments like that give me real hope for the human species, you know? That motherfucker wanted to oppress me over coffee, but I said: FUCK. NO.

Kristin said...

Unfortunately, more STUPID FUCKERS ended up having me kicked out of the place. This one guy in particular was a RUDE ASSHOLE. I just wanted to SHOOT HIS COCK OFF, lol.

Kristin said...

It's like...

Hide it under a bushel?

FUCK THAT.

I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE, LET IT SHINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Kristin said...

DON'T LET FUCKSTAINS BLOW IT OUT! NO! I'M GONNA LET IT SHINE!

Kristin said...

"You already are the American Idol, Kristin. You already are."

*cries in recognition of this Truth*

Kristin said...

Anyhoo, once the Revolution takes over the Grammys or whatever--and I win one--I will remember this moment. And mention it as I sob inconsolably on the stage.

Kristin said...

I mean, Belle, you know, I doubt I'll remember your name by then, but anyway...

Donna said...

*crushed under Kristin's boot of white woman privilege*

mumble mumble gurgle burble...

Donna said...

I think us WOC need to get together and record this ode to white feminists:
You're everything good in my life
Everything honest and true
And all of those stars hanging up in the sky
Could never shine brighter than you!
You are everything that I live for...
You Are Everything!

Kristin said...

OMFG, Donna has posted a Praise and Worship Song. THIS IS WAR.

Donna said...

HEE HEE! Made you listen to it! SUFFER WHITE WOMAN!

EthylBenzene said...

Funniest. Thread. Evar.

belledame222 said...

(Ethyl!!)

belledame222 said...

Donna, you have hurt my heart by introducing Praise and Worship music into this thread, and so I am forced to dedicate this song to you, to remind you of your place sorry I mean -my boundaries,- yes.

although truthfully I don't want you to tell any of my other body parts either, because I'm very sensitive -all over.- I don't think my kneecaps or eyeballs or giblets would understand, either. Please be gentle with me, and don't reject the truth bullets I shoot from my achy breaky hip in your direction.

Donna said...

Is that the worst you can do? Puhleeeeze! I'll see your Billy Ray and raise you a Miley!
A lovely video that all the white women should watch! (psst WOC put in your earplugs and cover your eyes)

belledame222 said...

-dies a little inside-

the song might not be so remarkable but the video...

right. You asked for it.

And I want you to know that even digging that up and listening to the opening bars to make sure it's the right link hurts me as much as it hurts you. But it's for YOUR OWN GOOD. or...something.

ArrogantWorm said...

I found a song to exemplify the just rage that middle class able bodied white feminists struggle with throughout the western world when dealing with Tools who refuse to affirm their experiences. My heart goes out to you.

You'll doubtless be overjoyed that this woman sang through the copious flow of her tears! I post it here so that others may get a glimpse of your pain, even though we will never experience the depravity.

ArrogantWorm said...
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ArrogantWorm said...

My bad, had the wrong link. And here you are -


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipUdoUcNmKI

Donna said...

Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!

belledame222 said...

I think the cover takes it into soulful emo dude territory, but it's beautiful either way.

Speaking of covers, here is one I think we can all relate to. No matter who we are, or how old we are: the message, the -feeling- is universal and eternal. Like this, see?

belledame222 said...

Donna slipped with her meltiness of oppression. Figures. Even in defeat you manage to ruin my shoes.

ArrogantWorm said...

My God, Belle, that second song is depressing.

Lorelei said...

Belle, that last video you linked to... I related so much. You know, I went to private school (because if I'd gone to public school, I would have never ever learned anything, so I HAD to!) and it just reminded me of how grateful I am that I had such a DIVERSE experience at my school instead of just black people and meanies at the public school! Sure, we were all rich kids, but some of us were brown!! :O

shit, seriously, everytime i see her post, i wanna write one in my own blog again... too bad i'm constantly exhausted.

belledame222 said...

Well, I for one went to public school, and I feel that my pain at the experience is just one more key to the -deeply- complicated and unique complexity that is myself. Because, well, unless you had a shit time at a public K-12 , I don't think you can really -get- my pain, and I know most people in the United States can not relate to that uniquely terrible time of suffering. Especially not the WoC that are understandably assumed to be mean drama queens and bullies unless proven otherwise (on sufferance).

Kristin said...

"Well, I for one went to public school, and I feel that my pain at the experience is just one more key to the -deeply- complicated and unique complexity that is myself."

Same here, Belle. Same here. I didn't realize that you had such longstanding working class creds as all that. It's hard, being a White Girl in a public school system. Unless I'd found White Feminism, I feel sure it would've bred antisocial sensibilities in me, and I'd have turned out...not unlike Donna here. Fortunately for me, I was able to avoid that path, heal the pain, escape that likely descent into Drama Queen-dom and become a completely acculturated and well-socialized member of the bourgeois class. I just thank the Goddess every day for sparing me that kind of fate. It's true... The online kerfluffles with the WOC Drama Queen Task Force sometimes give me hives, but as long as I completely ignore what they're saying in order to speak that sacred truth that is My Own, I am able to remain fully intact and unscathed. It's *so hard* being a White Woman sometimes, but you know what? I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and I surprise myself with the degree of strength and steely-eyed resolve that I bring to these things. I bet you're just as special as I am, if you really dig deep down. *hugs*

Kristin said...

That last video you posted was particularly moving for me. I mean, it speaks SO beautifully to my experience. You know, the greatest trauma of my life was in attending a public high school. It was really hard for me to watch that. The video really made me go back to that time--and remember the scared, lonely, timid girl I once was. You know? I think it triggered something very primordial inside me. I don't know if I can or should go to work today. I may just need to stick close to home so I can process this visceral pain.

EthylBenzene said...

Belle said:
(Ethyl!!)

Aaah! These are not the droids you are looking for!!!

Actually I'm trying to dip my toes back in since I miss having an online life and now that my, uh, more biochemically-related issues are settling down and my brainmeats seem to be functioning normally. Well, almost normally. But I tell you I am shocked -- SHOCKED -- to find that we are still fighting the same old fights around here like a bunch of broken records. Sheesh. Also as I was going through these posts I couldn't help but notice that she-who-must-not-be-named had to poke her evil little nose in and be really appallingly awful, which really made me glad I got on the technology bandwagon and installed killfile on firefox. Egads but she's terrible.

Chiang Mai said...

PDN has not responded to the accusations of passive racism, so it is hard to say whether it is an oversight on their part, or something more sinister. It appears more to be a symptom of the culture.

Winstrol said...

Obviously you have much energy!

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