Saturday, January 20, 2007

Goddamit, Renegade

you've given me your insomnia, haven't you.

no, you know what it is: the goddam siren song of the very Internets, nay, the machine itself.

whole worlds going on, and i'm only half awake and still want to know more, more, more...

i use this goddam thing like a drug. information junkie. conflict. and contact.

and i realize: you know, i don't know for how long now, but a while: i have been constantly reassessing assumptions I didn't even know I had, on a daily if not hourly basis. not just intellectual ones, either.

it's exhilarating. and a bit exhausting.

people are fucking complicated, aren't we?

fascinating little buggers that we are.

i'm going to bed.


Veronica said...


(I type at 2:40 am)

Renegade Evolution said...

Oh sure, blame the Henchwoman. Got a few hours myself this, last ever, gonna try for a few more here shortly...but yeah, the machine has evil powerz.

and thinking is good, even for us rage-y insomnia types.

Rootietoot said...

Everything's Ren's fault. She's probably responsible for the pump in my washing machine dying. I KNOW it's her fault the dogs poop on the patio. She's upset the balance of the universe and I Must Protest!

Go y'all and sleep and quit messing the the prions and quarks and all those energy related non-things.

wv: baheihehe
yeah, that's what you sound like. lay down.

Anonymous said...

Funny you should mention this. The way Internet addiction manifests itself because what is addictive is the learning. "Constantly reassessing assumptions I didn't even know I had, on a daily if not hourly basis. not just intellectual ones, either."

I keep thinking I should blog, or even introduce myself better on the blogs I frequent. When I comment, I seem to want to call attention to a paradox or tangle, and then my own prose gets paradoxical and tangled. I think of every possible way that what I say might be misinterpreted. I try to anticipate some of them and then I post and I think of others.

That way, lies multiple posts in a row.

Once I took a polemical position that didn't even make that much sense to me, only to find by doing so a new understanding of people who we weren't even talking about.

And I'm drawn to emotional issues like a moth to a flame war.

Funny addiction this.

Anonymous said...

Have to say, BD, I've wondered pretty often if you ever sleep AT ALL, with your special talent for being everywhere at once on the internets. It's pretty damn impressive.

Re: assumptions - I always appreciate the ways in which the communities and friendships we form on the internet push us to rexamine all those unspoken tenets that make up so much of how we see ourselves... how even our (heated) disagreements help to make that clearer. It's one way, once we get past all the cussin' and spittin', that flame wars and the like seem to be valuable. After all, it was the whole thing with Random Bird, several months ago, that really made me get serious about online feminist and progressive communities. So it doesn't always push the reader away - sometimes it draws you in, and in good ways.

Hmmm, perhaps I'll crosspost this comment over at Mr. K's.