Just another riff inspired by a comment from a thread at Pandagon
>I still stand by my earlier assertion that you should never defend something you enjoy until you’ve first gone to the trouble of picking it apart - absolutely dismantling it - yourself. But then, I actually enjoy picking things apart, so for me this activity tends to become recursive.>
You know something–
I seem to remember my mom, who is quite the blamer herself, albeit not particularly feminist (more or less liberal, academic) saying something of this sort, after coming out of a movie with her. My dad and I had enjoyed it; she hadn’t. And, with a particular…*dampening* strain to her voice, a familiar one, she said–*demanded*–well, *why* do you like it? And then words to the effect of what you said: you should be always be able to explain and analyze *why* you like something. Not what you *don’t* like, mind, so much. Well. That is: *we* should be able to defend (”defend”) something that gave us pleasure. Because it didn’t give *her* pleasure, and she needed to know why; but she put it on us, instead.
And, now that I’m thinking of it, I do wonder how much Mom issues factor into this whole brouhaha (I can speak only for myself here, of course)–but, even if it weren’t for the classic Mom-daughter friction, I am thinking: I still probably would’ve come to the conclusion, eventually–you know what, fuck off.
And I love my mom. But she is a picker. She likes to pick. Literally. Candle wax, fuzzy sweaters, literary criticism, skin. And people. Herself included. And I got a lot of picking abilities from her…picked them up, you might say…and I in my turn was thoroughly picked.
And at this point in my life, I feel I can honestly say: you know what, if there’s one thing I don’t think is my problem, it’s an undersufficiency of picking.
I’m not saying picking’s never useful.
But right now, it’s not what interests me. I don’t want to be picked apart anymore. I don't even want my pleasures to be limited to those found in picking (myself or others). I want to find out how to be whole.