Thursday, March 26, 2009

More good advice

Trollspotting: a book-length guide

No direct link, you have to click on "Trollspotting" once there. Geared toward neopagans but fun for the whole family. (h/t Sunflower)

"Well, the troll started demanding food from everyone in the village. Trolls are very hungry creatures, you know. So, we all started feeding the troll."

"Couldn't Mr. and Mrs. Mayor keep up with its appetite?"

"Not after a while, no. The troll always complained that they never gave it enough food. They were always starving the poor thing!"

"You just said trolls are very hungry creatures. Do you imagine anyone could have kept up with the appetite of this troll? All by themselves?"

"Ummm... Probably not."

"So the troll's complaints were blatantly unfair. Just like with the sunglasses, and the bath."

The sheriff looked uncomfortable. "I guess so."

"Kind of a lie, you think?"

"Well, the troll explained how reality is subjective anyway, and it felt like they were starving it."

"I see. What did Mr. and Mrs. Mayor say about the complaints?"

"Uhm, well, the troll asked us to keep the complaints quiet. Afraid of beatings, you know. And then, next election, we got us a new mayor. One who wouldn't be so mean. You know?"

Jack sighed. "Doesn't seem quite fair. You got rid of the Mayor, on the word of a troll whose tales just don't add up, and you never even bothered to check those stories out with the Mayor or his wife. Sad case. So, whatever happened to them?"

"Well, after a while, uhm, the troll, uhm, well, sort of ate them."

"Ate them?"

"Uhm, yes. Ate them. Mr. and Mrs. Mayor. Both."

"I see. Did you get rid of the troll after that?"

"Certainly not! It was so cute! And besides, can you blame it, after the way they'd treated the poor thing? No, it moved in with Old Isobel."

"Why in the world would Old Isobel let a person-eating troll move in with her?"

"The troll explained that no one has the right to impose their system of ethics upon anyone else."

"I see. How did Old Isobel get along with the troll?"

"Pretty well. Uhm. Until it ate her."

14 comments:

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