Monday, March 30, 2009

clearly, i have missed out on many Classic Films

The upcoming roster at the Castro Theatre has a number of promising offerings. Among the most promising, however, is this last entry during the April 19 "Midnite Madness" presentation:



8:00 LADY TERMINATOR (1988) - Directed by Jalil Jackson
Be ready for the walls of the Castro Theatre to fall during this jaw-dropping, late-80s TERMINATOR knock-off. A female scuba-diving anthropologist is violated by an ancient snake (stolen from an evil sex-witch’s vagina) causing our heroine to go on a gratuitously nude and violent rampage, culminating in the ultimate climax... a hearty chomp from her carnivorous vagina! You will never forget this night, I promise! Preceded by more robust robot trailers. 35mm print. 82min.


The best part? Just a few nights beforehand, they are screening "The Vagina Monologues." Perhaps this was one of the missing monologues.

"I have HAD IT with these motherfucking snakes in my motherfucking vagina!!"

Also see. Or, not.

8 comments:

Alon Levy said...

If I had to guess, I'd say Lady Terminator is a porno, on the model of Lady Scarface.

T. R Xands said...

I dunno, it sounds "legit" *reads hearty romp, vagina, and evil sex witch* .....yeah that's a porn.

And I love the weepingcock comm so much. AHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Vanessa said...

I say again, Please go see this so I may live vicariously through you.

I'll even lend you my copy of Womb Raider as a trade.

Comrade PhysioProf said...

A female scuba-diving anthropologist is violated by an ancient snake (stolen from an evil sex-witch’s vagina) causing our heroine to go on a gratuitously nude and violent rampage, culminating in the ultimate climax... a hearty chomp from her carnivorous vagina!

Sounds like a female version of My Dinner With Andre!

belledame222 said...

Sounds like a female version of My Dinner With Andre!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA -gasp- -wheezy wheez-

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