Thursday, March 02, 2006


There are, I observe, two (at least, but for our purposes here) major themes running through the expressions of anti-BDSM (and other forms of "patriarchal" sexuality) sentiment. Roughly:

1) This is exploitive, or, at minimum, is reflective of our exploitive culture, and thus, should be shunned, or at least seriously critiqued.

2) Ew! Ewwww! ICKY! (shudder) EW.

Expressions of 1), provided they're argued with some thought and research, are worth taking seriously as feminism, whether or not one agrees.

Expressions of 2), not so much. And honestly, I've been seeing a lot of 2) lately, and, well, frankly, it irks. "What you do is gross and nasty" is not "radical feminism," nor yet is it a critique. That is high school. ("Oh. my. god. canyouBELIEVE what she's WEARING?! do you HEAR what she DOES?? psstpsstpsst"). Speaking of conformism. Speaking of conservative.

As for the "help, help, I'm being oppressed by what you do with another consenting adult in your bedroom/private sex club!" folks: you can fuck right off. Really. Speaking of control issues. There's more to power than leather and chains...or patriarchy. It'd be more convenient if it were that simple, I'm sure. But it never is.


jack (aka angrybrownbutch) said...

Funny, I've been embroiled in debate (over at Angry For a Reason about this very stuff since yesterday. And yeah, I basically agree with you. If I hadn't written myself ragged already over there, and didn't have a pile of work preparing to topple upon my slackerly head, I'd write more here.

Also, thank you for the linkage!

belledame222 said...

Hey, Jack, no problem, I liked the blog. and yeah, it seems like this one's been rolling around blogland for a while now; anyway seems like I keep running into it these days.

Lis Riba said...

I used to be a semiregular on asb and ssbb. One of the useful things I learned there was the difference between head reactions and gut reactions. Having an intellectual objection to something and going squick.

It's a useful distinction to recognize. Neither is invalid, but knowing which is happening can help determine how to respond, whether you're dealing with your own reaction or somebody else's.