Friday, February 23, 2007

"It's the end of the world as we know it..."

Except for Veronica, who not only doesn't feel fine but cordially invites all the Chicken Littles of the world to unite and go fuck themselves:

There were a couple of “The End is NIGH!” type entries in my feeds this morning, which doesn’t really help with the lack of enthusiasm about writing during the ass end of winter.

I hate doomsday proclamations. Really. If the world is gonna come screeching to a halt, then it’s gonna come screeching to a halt, and my worrying about it all isn’t going to change a thing.

I’m thinking that maybe I should just chuck the naysayers.

So, I formally flip the bird to anyone that feels the need to inform me of the following, as if I’ve never come across the concept before:


Go over to Nine Pearls for the specifics, or rather for the fine rantage about each fiery, watery, and/or germy, all-too-familiar scenario.

Plus, one you may not have given much thought to before (although you should have):
Colossal Squid.


WELLINGTON, New Zealand - A fishing crew has caught a colossal squid that could weigh a half-ton and prove to be the biggest specimen ever landed, a fisheries official said Thursday.

The squid, weighing an estimated 990 lbs and about 39 feet long, took two hours to land in Antarctic waters, New Zealand Fisheries Minister Jim Anderton said...


Apparently "colossal squid" is an actual term, not just the headline, you know, the next step up from giant squid, or maybe several steps up, i'm not really sure of the taxonomy, you know. It seems a shame that they decided not to call it "super mega-mecha-mecha squid." maybe they're saving that for the one that comes down with the rest of the Elder Gods, blots out the sun, and y'know eats us.

Meanwhile, I just want to see this line one more time, said by the "squid expert:"

If calamari rings were made from the squid they would be the size of tractor tires.

24 comments:

R. Mildred said...

the sad thing is that "collosal squid" is it's actual biological name.

And it's actually one of the smaller cephlapods (it's not an octopi or even octopod-like like our lady Cthulhu) down in the deep.

R. Mildred said...

damn, you said that.

I assume the next category up will be "the fucking huge bastard will you look at hte size of that squid"

R. Mildred said...

It does go "giant" then "collosal" - in fact many of hte giant squids were baby collosal squids. It's latin name has the word mega in it as well, something daft like "megatyrannus cephlapodus" which is silly considering it actually just floats about trying to catch anything that floats near it in its preferred pressure depth - the next size up is the one that sperm whales fight after they get all boozey on kelp.

Menwhile, in a seperate field of science They're currently working on teh Really Large Array telescope some where.

And there's a particle accelerator called "the really big (place name) collider".

Leonard De Quirm's naming conventions are taking over the universe.

Eli said...

I, for one, welcome our colossal squid overlords.

Blue / Kay Olson said...

39 feet long. As if there aren't enough things on land that freak me right out.

Infra said...

Hmmm. Seems like you're on to something.

As I'm sure you know, "super mega-mecha-mecha squid" has the NAEQ gematria value of 341, which is also the value of "fear not to undergo the pain," "mark my words, the end is upon us" and "abominable harbinger of death."

Sounds kinda bad.

Then again, it's also the value of "electroconvulsive therapy," so maybe not.

ArrogantWorm said...

Calamari rings the size of tires, eh? While I'm sure the museum is happy to receive such a find, a part of me still considers that it's too bad they wouldn't sell it on Ebay. I'd buy a few rings. Love Calamari. Provided they keep 'em and ship 'em frozen, salmonella's really nasty. I don't think Ebay does frozen food, though.

-Ps

No offense meant to our possible cephalopod overlords. Really.

belledame222 said...

Where do you find a friolator big enough, is the question?

and you'd need a whole damn lemon orchard for just one serving.

Rootietoot said...

poor squid...proably just minding his own business, munching a fish and BOOM suddenly, international fame and photography, and yet, he's too dead to enjoy it.

Did you know it's possible to train a squid? I watched a thing on it on mmmm Discovery or something.

So what to call the next bigger one? Really Impossibly Huge? Monumentally Big? Dolly Parton?

It's like Big Bang theory...couldn't they have come up with something better than that?
Celestial orgasm?

dang I'm hungry.

ArrogantWorm said...

Where do you find a friolator big enough, is the question?

Convert a large, old fashioned (meaning metal) trashcan. It's done here for deep fried turkey (AKA Garbage Can Turkey), so I don't see why it wouldn't work with our squidly friend...

And I just skip the lemon. If they sell concentrated lemon juice, that might work. I really don't know, though.

belledame222 said...

train a squid to do...what?

Phlegmatic said...

To suck brains? Just as the Illithids always intended them to?

ArrogantWorm said...

Well, you can train them to open jars. It seems they learn by watching, but I can't find much information on 'em. I did, however, find a video of it that I can't play because my pc is a piece of crap.
If anyone wants the link I can post it.

Eli said...

Humungous Squid? Brobdingnagian Squid? Ginormous Squid? Excessive Squid? Really Fucking Ridiculously Huge Gigantor Squid?

Infra said...

A Gigantor squid?

That would like, rock.

Sweet Daddio said...

Oo Belledame it was cool, this researcher trained squid to respond to coded messages- he'd draw an x on a piece of paper, and the trained squid could make an x on it's back (they have color-changing abilities). Then he'd draw something he'd never shown the squid before, and it would make that image on it's back. He had 20 of the critters doing this, then he filmed them flashing little symbols back and forth at each other through the clear tank walls. If I can find it I'll send a link. They're saying squid are as smart as dogs. Without the cuddle factor, tho.

Rootietoot said...

erm...that's rootietoot, not sweet daddio.

Rosie said...

If calamari rings were made from the squid they would be the size of tractor tires.

Silly, silly man.

Super-mega-mecha-mecha squid crunchies are done in strips...not rings! Why, I betcha you could just cut that bad boy up in sheets and roll him through a big pasta machine then tempura his ass and serve with a variety of tasty dipping sauces. Someone obviously forgot to tell the colossal squid overlords that we eat our gods on this planet.

Veronica said...

If we can teach the squid to open jars, then he can stay.

Lucy said...

Ooh, delicious. I love squid. The bigger the better, as long as it's good 'n rubbery.

lilcollegegirl said...

so hungry now.

Yay Cthulhu.

Secret Rapture said...

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

Secret Rapture said...

My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
Read My Inaugural Address
My Site=http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman
Your jaw will drop!

belledame222 said...

Was it something I said?