Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Awesome names for MRA fuckwit blogs, part the Twoth

Inspired as by a burst of manly fertility, the hits keep coming:

"Bitty"
"Other People” Are Secondary Values No Matter What
2&1/2 Inches of Swinging Male Fury
A Goldmine Of Man-Stupid
A Witch! Burn Her!...Burn Her Anyway!...
Al O'Moany
Are You On Your Period Or Something?
Boner Wars
Born-Again Egoist
Breastfed Through Adulthood
But I Could Get Drafted!
By The Power of Grayskull, I am Cocklord!
Carving Her Heart Out With A Spoon
Cockmeister
Cold Shower Power Hour
Combover Central
'Course I Can Fucking Handle It
Denied My Rightful Fruit-Cup
Descent of the Undervalued Testicle
Dicking Around
Drill, Baby, Drill
Feminism Turned Me Into A Newt (I Didn't Get Better)
G-Spot, Schmee Spot, You're Lucky I'm In Roughly The Right Zipcode
Gorillas On The Piss
Greedy Whores Stole My Flat-Screen
Have Yet To Find A Girl Deserving Of My Falling In Love With Her
High Marks For Skid Marks
I Finished Last So I Must Be Nice
I'd Fuck Myself If It Weren't Gay
It Ain't Gonna Suck Itself (I Tried)
It Is Just As Big As My Truck
It's Dull, You Idiot, It'll Hurt More
I've Got Needs
Jealous of the Average Salt Shaker
Legend In My Own Mind
Lesbians Ate My Baby
Male-Order Pride
My Girlfriend Who Lives In Blowhardistan
My Hammer Is My Penis
My Rod and My Staff, They Comfort Me
Nurse Ratched's Ward
On The Run From SHE-RA TEH SABRE-TOOTHED VAGINA
Oresteia For Dummies
Penile Infallibility
Peter Pan Without The Charm
Pissing Where I Want To
Proudly Adjusting Myself In Public
Real Men Don't Eat Quiche Pussy Cock (Goes Without Saying) Anything That Isn't Spoon Fed To Them
Real Women Don't Fart
Reproductive Freedom, and Other Attacks on My Balls
Shocked by Your Unladylike Behaviour
Short, Stark, and Mansome
Sir Lordling The Petulant
Solitary, Poor, Nasty, Brutish and Short
Sucked In By THE CONTROLLING VAGINA
Supar Mann 4 Evolooshun Sikeologee
Swagger Til I Stagger
Ted Bundy Wuz FRAMED
The Daily Male
The Flatulent Philospher
The Gods Smile Upon My Fuckstick
The Lace Curtain Conspiracy
The Stripper Likes Me, She REALLY -Likes- Me!!...
Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor: A Blog
'Tis Pity She's a Whore
Tom Twenty-four Pack
Tripping the Light Faptastic
Tyler Durden Is My Hero
Vagina Dentata Ate My Paycheck
Viagra For My Rage-On
Wankers Of The World, Unite!
What Do You Mean, "No"?
Wife-Beater: Not Just a Fashion Term! Haw haw!
Woe is Me, For My Mail-Order Bride Hath Taken Half
Woe, For I Hath Fathered a Girl-Child, and She Readeth the Hellcat Dworkin
Women Can Be Feminists, As Long As They Submit Fully to Me
Women Lie, Nice Guys (TM) Die
Worshipping At Ayn Rand's Temple
You Can Never Be Too Ripped Or Too Privileged
You May HAVE Penis Envy, But A MAN Invented It!
You'd Look Good if You'd Put Some Make-up On and Smiled
Zen And The Art Of Wankery


Thanks again to all who contributed!

68 comments:

Mór Rígan said...

Made of win Belle. I'm chortling away. I see some of mine made the list. Yay!

Trinity said...

The Little Blue Pills Are My Only Friends
The Bloggish Castle of Lord Richard Manley

(if he's into BDSM it's SIR Lord Richard Manley. Rumors that he's that hooded guy that shows up at every play party with a sign reading "Please Abuse Me Boob-Wielding Sex Goddesses" strenuously denied.)

Mine Is Too Bigger!
Winning Belching Contests Is Too A Skill

Trinity said...

Also:

"Woe, For I Hath Fathered a Girl-Child, and She Readeth the Hellcat Dworkin"

Even awesomer than my foil for it. YOU WIN.

Trinity said...

I almost want to rename TSA "Viagra For My Rage-On" in a fit of pique.

TALK ME OUT OF THIS PLZ KTHX

SnowdropExplodes said...

Trinity: do you know there's actually a British daytime TV show host called "Richard Madeley"? Somehow, I find his image rather appropriate...

Glad to see I got one in the list!

Some more suggestions:

"You Belong To Me (And I DON'T Belong To You)"

"Half The World Blows And The Other Half Sucks"

"Fuck me! (No, Really, You'll Like It)"

SMMO said...

Inevitable: 5 names for Sex Positive Blogs:

-Nipple Clamps, A Manifesto
-Isis in Stilettos
-You say Sugar Daddy I Say PhD
-Freedom's just another word for not wearing many clothes
-Slattern's Progress

palinpumawatch said...

Well, sex-positive blogs, the *special* kind.

My Sex Life Is Saving The World

Your Monogamy Oppresses Me

Screwing Your Husband For The Revolution

Had An Orgasm, Where's My Applause?

Harassing You For Your Own Good

Slobbering Over Your Heaving Brains

Give Me A Blowjob, I'll Respect You More

Well, *I've* Never Been Raped, So There

Evn said...

Well, *I've* Never Been Raped, So There

Oh, oh Gods, I'm cramping...

( = good one)

Evn said...

Belle, are we allowed to submit more blog titles? Because I am having so much fun right now.

belledame222 said...

O.K. by me. Maybe someone else wants to host the next installment of whatever it is...

belledame222 said...

"Why Yes, My Life -Does- Resemble A Zalman King Movie"

"Assimilate My Fist (But Let Me Take My Wedding Ring Off First)"

"Am I Shocking You Yet? How About Now??"

"You Oppress Me With Your Lack Of Interest In My Exhibitionism And Various Fetishes"

"More Bleeding-Edge Than Thou"

"Let Them Eat J-Lube"

(all but the first based on a particularly tiresome couple I knew a few years back...)

...oh, god, you know who needs doing--I've got a little list! the SPECIAL kind of childfree peeps.

"Take Your Sprog And Shove It (Back): And Other Manifestos For A Peaceful, Sustainable Future"

"-I- Sprang Fully Hatched From My Father's Forehead; Why Can't Everyone?"

"Oppressed By Your Child's Existence"

"-I'm- The Grownup, -I- Get To Have The Tantrums Around Here...!"

belledame222 said...

I kind of like "Slattern's Progress," actually. Maybe I'll call my next blog that.

palinpumawatch said...

"You Oppress Me With Your Lack Of Interest In My Exhibitionism And Various Fetishes"

HAHAHAHAHAHA so true.

belledame222 said...

"Stop Being Mean To My Boyfriend! He's A Radical Sex Warrior, You Know (and he KNOWS EVERYTHING, SWOON)"

"I May Be A Douchebag, But It's A Douchebag Filled With Icy Hot, Coming To BURN AWAY ALL YOUR REPRESSIONS. BOO YA!"

...okay, too long. goddam those people were annoying...I always felt slightly guilty because she was nice when she wasn't being incredibly irritation, let me stay in their house and such, but: yeah.

and he -really- was a douchebag.

belledame222 said...

"The Most Radical Three Minutes You'll Ever Spend, Baby"

belledame222 said...

somewhere back there, around the time of the Blowjob Wars, I had a manifesto about fisting one's way to the overthrow of the Corporateocracy. much fun was had.

but you -know- -someone- out there probably takes something like that deadly seriously...

belledame222 said...

and the classic, I suppose:

"I'm Delightfully Kinky, You're Perverted, And -They're- Just -Sick Fucks-"

belledame222 said...

...actually,

"Please Abuse Me Boob-Wielding Sex Goddesses"

ain't bad...

oh god, pushy straight male bottoms, that's a whole subgenre...

"O Please Please Subjugate Me Utterly! (No, Not -That- Way!)"

belledame222 said...

"Nudge Nudge Wink Wink"

belledame222 said...

"Can't You, Like, Airbrush Yourself?"

"Sticky Prose"

SMMO said...

Belle has killed me. Am dead. Dead I tell you.

Special Childfree Blogs excellent, excellent idea.

My Cat IS More Important Than Your Child

Parents: Boringer Than Tax Code

To Spank Or Not To Spank - How Can This Be A Question?

palinpumawatch said...

More sex-pos:

You ARE SO Miserable And Repressed

Just Relax And Enjoy It

You're Probably Fat And Ugly Anyway

Drool

Smashing The Patriarchy With My Penis



More childfree:

Your Crotch Droppings Insult Me

Tom Nolan said...

Sex Positive Blogs

"Taste my skin"

"You don't want to know. But keep reading."

"Relax. Or it'll hurt."

"I know what you need."

"Coming, ready or not."

"I love political lesbians, Cheryl. Mmmm."

belledame222 said...

"You don't want to know. But keep reading."

-snort-

"I'm A Wild And Crrrazy Guy!"

"And I Will Call Him 'George.' And I Will Love Him And Pet Him And Squeeze Him And..."

...okay, that one didn't quite take, but something about the idea of a really bad BDSM ad searching for The Perfect Slave channeling Lenny "Of Mice And Men" via the Bugys Bunny Abominable Snowman...meh, sadly some things just don't compress easily into a pithy blog title.

belledame222 said...

Smashing The Patriarchy With My Penis

ahahahaha

belledame222 said...

Yeah, that's right, "Crotch Droppings." some people really are charmers, eh?

"Yeah, Your Kids Are Crotch Droppings And I Think You Should've Aborted Them, But There's No Need For You To Take It Personally"

"Your Damn Brat Stole My Crayons"

belledame222 said...

oh god oh god: the same woman who was more sex radical than thou, I just remembered, actually said something like this as an example of "breeder privilege:"

"No One Threw Me A Shower For My Tubal Ligation"

Trinity said...

"oh god, pushy straight male bottoms, that's a whole subgenre..."

I Am Very Bad And Need Punishing Frequently, Specifically With This Thingy Here, And Could You Wear A Red Corset, Too?

belledame222 said...

Sir Lord Richard Manley Will Possess You Utterly

belledame222 said...

maybe I'll host an Assortment Of Very Special Blog Types post later.

so many possibilities really. cringey New Age/Pagan/Ren Faire! Overly Earnest Hard Leftists! Pompous Intellectuals! And So Much More!...

I'd say shit like the mommy bloggers or freeper types, but the former I don't read and the latter's a bit too obvious, plus kind of overlaps with the MRAs and/or PUMAs anyway.

Dw3t-Hthr said...

I don't know if this is an MRA blog or a sex-pos blog, but:

If You Only Got Laid You'd Be More Fun

palinpumawatch said...

I don't know if this is an MRA blog or a sex-pos blog

There's overlap. I believe the only way to distinguish is to add "A Feminist Manifesto". Imagine:

Huh Huh Huh Boobies: A Feminist Manifesto

The Gods Smile Upon My Fuckstick: A Feminist Manifesto

All You Need Is A Deep Dicking: A Feminist Manifesto

...and so on.

belledame222 said...
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belledame222 said...
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belledame222 said...
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belledame222 said...

on second thought, none of that matters because THAT'S NOT FUNNY.

and this is SRS BZNS KTHXBAI.

belledame222 said...

This one doesn't even have to be sex pos, but boy does it work:

"I Finished Last So I Must Be Nice: A Feminist Manifesto"

belledame222 said...

Meanwhile, I haven't had time to peruse it yet (just checking in for the first time in ages), but I have a feeling that this blog will have -tons- of inspiration for future titles:

http://cantbelievehesstillsingle.blogspot.com/

belledame222 said...

...Tall, Muscular, No Missing Pearly White (LOL)

belledame222 said...

...you see? You -see?-

"Okay, Okay, I'll Throw In My (Cheating Bitch) Ex-Girlfriend's Gently Used Coach Bag, NOW Can I Have That Blowjob?"

Evn said...

cringey New Age/Pagan/Ren Faire!

Ooooh, my speciality! I'll get to work.

palinpumawatch said...

Gently used Coach bag. *sputter*

I'm trying to think of a blog title for the You Can Always Say No brigade. Like, it's okay if I ask you to blow me when I'm interviewing you for a job, because you can say no; it's okay if I ask you to bareback during a one-night stand, because you can say no; it's okay if I try to grope strangers on the bus, because I'll stop if they tell me to...

palinpumawatch said...

http://wondermark.com/258/

SnowdropExplodes said...

Sex Pos:

If It Makes The Earth Move, It Must Be Changing The World!

Childless specials:

As If One Of You Wasn't (Bad) Enough

Oh Crap, Another Mouth To Feed (From The World's Dwindling Resources)

Tom Nolan said...

palinpumawatch

it's okay if I ask you to bareback during a one-night stand, because you can say no

Sorry to do this on what is intended to be, and in fact is, a fun thread - but I feel bound to contradict the above. It is ok to ask someone to do something dangerous/outrageous on a one-night-stand, so long as it is a matter of asking and not of coercing. I have been asked to perform unprotected sex by bed-partners with whom I'd never slept before. I refused, but the request was not offensive.

I don't, indeed, think that asking someone to participate in a suicide pact is offensive or deleterious. We should just say no if we don't want to comply, and keep our outrage for something outrageous.

Tom Nolan said...

And I should just add, because I see now that my last comment might have caused some confusion, that palinpumawatch's

it's okay if I ask you to bareback during a one-night stand, because you can say no

was ironic - its implication being that it is not ok to ask. That's what my last comment was taking issue with.

palinpumawatch said...

I don't, indeed, think that asking someone to participate in a suicide pact is offensive or deleterious. We should just say no if we don't want to comply, and keep our outrage for something outrageous.

I'll concede that perhaps it's a cultural thing. In the vanilla circles I travel in, that's an outrageous demand to make of someone you don't know well, and when made is often combined with nagging/whining/general douchebaggery.

Daisy said...

The Gods Smile Upon My Fuckstick

(((spews coffee everywhere)))

:D

belledame222 said...

well, it's the nagging/whinging/douchebaggery that makes such occasions Special. it is true that not everybody does.

and/or setups in which saying "no" is, well, not -immediately- obvious as a totally strings-free choice. i.e. your teacher or boss asking you.

Technically, "your money or your life" is a "choice"...

but also, in general, well, yeah, I have ethical issues with in a one-night stand, as well as just plain -duh,- but I come from the Latex Generation, so. It'd be one thing if the only variables were "woman is on some other form of birth control y/n" or "persons are willing to risk going to the clinic for VD shots y/n;" it...ain't. But, yes, it's still going to happen whether I approve of it or not, I realize, and that's a whole nother topic.

and it's like, I don't know...yeah, one could always go to the extreme and ponder the existential "choice"/consensual issues as well as legality of f'r instance the business where someone advertised for some other guy to particpate in a consensual erotic murder situation (wasn't it in Germany)? and be eaten or whatever it was; and it was consensual and they did and the guy who was left alive still got in trouble with the law because well um.

but yes, now officially Not Fun Anymore.

belledame222 said...

that's "with barebacking in a one-night stand."

here, then:

"Your Money Or Your Life: You Do Have A Choice, You Know"

(insert Jackie Mason: "I'm thinking, I'm thinking...")

belledame222 said...

"I'm Not Against Children Per Se, Or Your Crotch Droppings In Particular, I Just Care About The Earth's Dwindling Resources (You Selfish Cow). ...Pass The Filet Mignon."

belledame222 said...

anyway I mostly bring it up because in the non-vanilla circles I'm familiar with, if anything it's -less- acceptable to bareback casually, or even at all in some cases (how many vanilla couples use the term "fluid bonded?") in at least some of the environments I've been in, it's more like, that scene in the Naked Gun or whichever it was:

"I practice...safe sex."

"So do I."

Cut to Leslie Nielsen and Elvis' ex-wife (forget the name) wearing full-body condoms, rollin' around.

belledame222 said...

Priscilla Presley, dammit. jesus.

belledame222 said...

cringey New Age/Pagan/Ren Faire!

Ooooh, my speciality! I'll get to work.


Yayz!

Evn said...

Here's what I've come up with so far...

Worshipping Nature from the Safety of My Living Room

All Gods Are One God, Except for Your God: He Sucks

Please Don’t Demolish My Delusional Perception of History

Desperate to Feel Oppressed

An It Harm None, Do What Thou Wilt: How Eight Little Words, Cribbed from a Religion I Don’t Really Understand, Have Given Me the Authority to Disregard Personal Responsibility

I Could Cast a Spell on You if I Wanted To. But I Don’t. But I Could. If I Wanted To.

Blindly Repeating the Mistakes of My Ancestors

Yahweh in Drag Makes Everything Better

I’m Lonely in the Real World

Tom Nolan said...

palinpumawatch and belle

Once more, apologies for being a bore about this. I suppose what bugs me about the idea that we shouldn't even ask for certain things in the sexual arena is that the same kind of outrage never seems to manifest in the non-sexual arena. If somebody asks you: "hey, wanna come ride round the track on my motorbike without a helmet? You can feel the wind in your hair, and the extra danger makes it all the more exhilarating!" I imagine the response would be something like "err, no, I'm not sick of living just yet, thank you."

The dangers involved in "bare-back" sex (and somebody help me out here: does that mean unprotected sex in general, or more specifically unprotected anal sex?) are real, of course. But what I'm getting at is: it is the invitation that someone incur a sexual danger which incenses people, not the invitation to risk unnecessary danger per se.

Evn said...

"Stop Being Mean To My Boyfriend! He's A Radical Sex Warrior, You Know (and he KNOWS EVERYTHING, SWOON)"

I don't know how I missed this the first time around, but now I can't stop giggling.

palinpumawatch said...


Once more, apologies for being a bore about this.


I don't speak for Belle but I'm sorry I brought it up and I wish you would drop it.

-----

More sex-pos:

Generously Donating My Precious Bodily Fluids, Whether You Want Them Or Not

Lost My Virginity Last Monday, Still Pretty Excited

You'll Do Whatever I Want, Young Lady, And Like It

I Can't Hear You Unless You're Naked: Musings From A Male Sex-Positive Feminist Ally


Special Leftist blogs:

Vegan Hair Shirt

...actually for now that's all I've got.

Tom Nolan said...

...dropped.

belledame222 said...

An It Harm None, Do What Thou Wilt: How Eight Little Words, Cribbed from a Religion I Don’t Really Understand, Have Given Me the Authority to Disregard Personal Responsibility

I Could Cast a Spell on You if I Wanted To. But I Don’t. But I Could. If I Wanted To.


-gigglesnort-

"Finally: A Theology I Can Master From A Couple Of Llewllyn Books And An Afternoon At Ren Faire"

"I Dance For The Sun King! I Dance For The Moon King!"*

(*cribbed from a Christopher Durang play, "Laughing Wild")

"You'd Be More Fulfilled If You Put On Some Crystals And Smiled"

and then of course the inevitable mix-n-match twee names:

"MoonShine SpiritSipper"

"Bliss Inanna"

Trinity said...

Tiptoeing Joyfully Through Meadows With Ma Kali, Blissfully Unaware She's Getting Rather Irked

SnowdropExplodes said...

"The More The Merrier - Polytheistic Party Paradise"

"Will You Let Me Stroke Your Aura? (I'll Be Gentle, I Promise)" - could almost be a sex-pos one as well!

"Sex, Gods and Rock'n'Roll (In a Nice, Gentle MOR Style)"

And an Evangelical Christian blog responding to the New Agey/Pagan ones:

"My God Died For Me: What Did Your Gods Ever Do For You?"

or simply,

"What Did Jesus Ever Do To You?"

Roland Hulme said...

I disagree with an awful lot of what you write, but this makes up for all of it:

"Reproductive Freedom, and Other Attacks on My Balls"

That's FREAKIN' hilarious.

Evn said...

"Reproductive Freedom, and Other Attacks on My Balls"

That's FREAKIN' hilarious.

Oh, actually, that was mine. But I'm thrilled that Belle thought it was funny.

Mary said...

Me Tarzan, no brain

Anonymous said...

MRA:

- Your mouth says no, but your eyes say 'yes'

- But she had a short skirt, judge

- Engulfed by the monster vulva

- Make me a sammich

- Cheer up, honeybun

- Myspace revolutionary

- God says you're scum in my special book.

ka said...

Redtube

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