"But What ABOUT Teh Menz?!"
And sure enough, with real live blogs out there with such titles as:
"One Man's Kingdom: A Member of the Slave Sex Revolts "
"Dick Masterson"
"No Ma'am"
"Rebel Against The Feminazi Blitzkrieg"
"Global Gynogulag"
"End of Men"
"Another Day In The Jungle"
...really, what choice did we have but to offer the lads some helpful suggestions of our own. What kind of helpmates would we be otherwise?
Thanks to everyone who contributed; feel free to claim ownership and/or offer more in the comments.
***
*Belch*
1,000 Men Crying, No Pity In Sight
10 Pints Of Lager And I'm Sick On Your Shoes
Abandoned In The Toy Department
All You Need is a Deep Dicking
Alone On Friday Night: A Tragedy In Five Acts
Are You My Mummy?
Balls Out!: A Blog
Blogging is Cheaper than Viagra
But I Love You- A Stalker's Manifesto
Call Me Cobag
Castrated By Your Laughter
Condoms Are For Girls
Confounded by Mysterious Lady-Parts
Custody Without Responsibility
Derisory...? Misogynist!
Dickswingin' Digest
Ejaculations
Emasculated with a Blow-Torch and Left to Die in the Kitchenware
Entranced By My Own Emissions, Why Aren't You, Dammit??
Eternal Towelboy
Every Sperm IS Sacred
Every Time A Man Cries, Chuck Norris Shoots a Kitten
Everything I Know About Sex I Learned From Traci Lords
Feminists Stole My Precious Bodily Fluids
FRRREEEEEEEEEEH-DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUM
Fuck Me I'm Awesome (Please)
Give Me My Ball(s) Back, I'm Going Home
Go Get Me A Beer
God is a MAN (With Back-Hair and a Mortgage, Just Like Me)
Gold Diggers, Whores, And Dykes, Oh My!
Grabbing My Dick And Jumping Up And Down
Grunting Into The Void
He Blinded Me With Junk Science
How Big's Yours, Then?
Huh Huh Huh Boobies
Hunted by Hairy Man-Haters
I Am A Cliche
I Bought You A Slushee, You Owe Me A Blowjob
I Can Outwhine Any Woman Any Day Of The Week, Go On, Try Me!
I Can Piss Standing Up!! And Other Brilliant Accomplishments
I Can't Even Spell Injunctive Relief
I Can't Hear You Unless You're Naked
I KNEW Girls Had Cooties...
I'm A Nice Guy(tm). So Why Won't You Date Me, Bitch?
IM NOT GAY!!!111!ONE!!
I'm Not Just The President Of The Dickhead Club, I'm Also A Member
I'm Spartacus And So's My RealDoll
Incoherent Rage
It Takes A Deadbeat
It's Gettin' Hard Out Here for a Prick
It's Not A Tantrum, It's A MANtrum!
Jerking My Way To Freedom
LOLdadz.blogspot.com
Loud Is the New Right
MAKE ME A CHOCOLATE CHICKEN POT PAH: A Revolutionary Manifesto
Mauled By The Marauding Myrmidons of the Mingelyrd Oversoul
Me, My Hand, And I
Mom Never Loved Me, The Wife Never Fucked Me
Mom?! MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM?????...
Mother Of All Mommy Complexes
My Bitch Ex-wife Dumped Me For Some Reason
My Mind Is Like A Plastic Bag
My Mom, From Whose Basement I Type This, Is a Feminazi
No Kitchen Chain Is Too Short
No One Knows What It's Like...To Be The Dad Man
No, I Have Not Stopped Beating My Wife Yet
Nobody's Angrier Than I Am
On Her Tits
On My Way To A Manly Coronary
One Lonely Guy
Politically Erect
Proud Dad To Roughly Three Kids
Rebel Without A Clue
Respect My Authoritah!
Robbed Of My God-Given Right To Be A Dick
Rod McManly Pants Does Not Care What You Think
Sad Sacks United
Sandwiches from My Bitches
Scrawling My Name In The Snow Of The Internets
Social Skills Are For Pussies
Somewhere Between Al Bundy And Ted Bundy
Somewhere Over The Rainbow, There Are Women Who Won't Laugh At Me
Sphincter Talk, You Listen
Spitting Out The Pubes of Injustice
The Big Whine
The Black Knight
The Bloodshot Homosocial Gaze
The Family Jewels
The Fiefdom
The He-Man Woman-Hater's Club
The NoMotherland
The Travis Bickle Appreciation (Anti) Society
Two Inches Of Power!
Walk Behind Me With Your Head Hanging Low
Walter Mitty On Meth
Washed The Dishes, Where's My Reward?
What About MEEEEEEEE??!
What's A Clitoris?
What's Your Fucking Problem Anyway? The Earth Always Moves For Me
Where's Dinner?
Woody Woodpecker Sings the Blues
Y'all Don't Know What It's Like, Being Male, Middle-class and White
You Just Wait, I Won't Sleep With You And Then Where Will You Be? Huh???
Your Equality Hurts Me
32 comments:
I wiped away more than one tear just now, hahah.
Every Sperm IS Sacred should be a MRA Evangelical Christian hardcore punk band.
Absolutely hilarious! I have to admit that I spend far less time looking at MRA blogs than radfem blogs, because their names alone are just such a warning to me as a woman (and, despite what some would say, a feminist.) Thanks for doing your part to correct a glaring gender imbalance, anyway.
Oh yeah, definitely there was only so much erm "research" I could take. You do get the idea pretty fast, though...
also going off the charming contributions from the lads who decided to come pay RE and/or anyone else I actually do read.
My favourite is definitely "I Can't Hear You Unless You're Naked." SO TRUE.
"Ejaculations": for the MRA who appreciates the finer things in life.
United Wankers of the World
Saving Up For A Mail-Order Bride
The Stripper Really Likes Me
An Orgy of the Imagination
What Do You Mean, "No"?
As was done with Natalia's post (and will now be done with volume 2), anytime I write a post about something stupid and sexist some guy has done, I will use one of these blog titles and link back to this post.
Rachel,
Excellent idea, that.
'Lace Curtain Conspiracy'
'Command & Conquer: Pink Alert'
"You! Suck! No? You suck!"
"Is This a Dagger I See Before Me? No, It's My Cock!"
"Just A Minute, Penis!" (or possibly "Just a Minute Penis!")
"By The Power of Grayskull, I am Cocklord!"
"God Wants Women To Suffer, That's Why They Have Periods"
"The P-Cs Are Polluting My PC"
"Only A Man Could Make This Many Erections"
This one's real:
Man Up Men: It’s Time to Become the Man You Were Meant to Be
The guy's a troll, and the acronym for his blog is MUM. High. Larry. Us.
manupmen.wordpress.com
O my that is special.
It is not your penis that makes you lie, it is the controlling vagina in your life. It wants to suck you in, and when it has you at your most vulnerable, it wants to cut you off mercilessly, and watch you bleed to death.
OK so:
"Sucked In By THE CONTROLLING VAGINA"
"'Twas not my penis that made me lie, 'twas the CONTROLLING VAGINA"
"The CONTROLLING VAGINA wants to watch you BLEED TO DEATH"
...fabbo.
Global Gynogulag - actually funnier than any of the made-up blog titles. I'm having it printed on a tee-shirt.(Along with: "Critical Theory: Help Thou My Unbelief").
In keeping with the theme, I humbly submit:
Girls Have Vaginas, Boys Have Orgasms
It’s Just the Testosterone Talking
Never Suck a Dick on Purpose: a Guide to Fraternity Life
Penile Infallibility
Reproductive Freedom, and Other Attacks on My Balls
Still Not Oppressed After All These Years
Your Existence is Somehow a Threat: Why Gays are Scarier than Blacks, But Not as Scary as Radical Feminists
More:
My Rage Has Viagra Now
Pissing Where I Want To
But I Could Get Drafted!
i am disappointed the marion barry title did not make the list...
however, I did laugh my ass off.
G-spot, Schmee Spot!
"Ejaculations" has got to be my favorite; most impact in the fewest letters.
How about these:
- Bros Before Hoes (but not in a gay way)
- What did my gender do NOW?
- You may HAVE penis envy, but a MAN invented it! ...Never Mind
- Never Privileged Enough
- Zen in the Art of Wankery
"Shootin' in Your Face"
?
What did my gender do NOW?
I have a confession to make: the above exactly expresses my jaded frame of mind when I visit a lot of feminist blogs.
From my husband:
High marks for skid marks!
Totally awesome. My favorites are Castrated By Your Laughter; I Bought You A Slushee, You Owe Me A Blowjob;
I'm A Nice Guy(tm). So Why Won't You Date Me, Bitch? (which make me think of this Onion spoof); and Washed The Dishes, Where's My Reward?.
And one to add to the list:
Beware the Vagina Dentata
2&1/2 Inches of Swinging Male Fury
In terms of sheer hilarity, "Go Get Me A Beer" has got to be my favourite. And no I didn't submit it. But I submitted some other ones.
Just wanted to say - you're hilarious.
Hi. I love you. thanks.
psst-thar be MOAR.
I particularly liked:
"Give Me My Ball(s) Back, I'm Going Home"
It's an ongoing joke in our house.
bahahahahahah omg wtf swoons
Somebody do something with "Truck Nutz" for volume 2 pleeze; I'm not creative enough:
http://www.truck-nuts.com/index.html
No Means Have a NOther Drink
Projection.
Says it all.
This is so brilliant! almost seems like you are talking about this one guy I know! But I know it's just a composite of all those asshole jerks out there who like to have sex with girls and write about it! Equality is all about cutting that shit out, you know? Making sure we pass it on to all women that if one woman finds it demeaning, it is demeaning, because there has to be a standard! Too many times, girls actually like sex talk and don't realize that comment towards a woman's beauty or sex is immediately insulting. These women rally shouldn't even be called women, because they obviously have no self respect. I especially like when you attack the father-kid relationship, which is so incredibly skewed in the man's favor, and we all know men don't love their children and whining about it is all for drama's sake. You really hit the nail on the head there and your generalizing about a situation you know absolutely nothing about is only your right because you're a woman and whoever the prick is probably looks at naked women and likes breasts and rarely appreciates the indigo girls. Fuck, I just wish whoever this asshole is could read your heartfelt, all-emcompassing shit and realize that he is a walking sperm donor and in that rare instance wherein a woman gets custody, he shouldn't bore us with his fake-ass sadness in regards to that kid, because we all know it's a lie, because he's a man and he even, I bet, has disagreed with feminist before, which, as you know, means he hates all women. Truly, way to prove yourself the more tolerant one and show real empathy by taking avoiding such direct shots as, "I want to fuck women, all of them" and keeping it general and not personal by involving the kid stuff. Totally deserved. Never pull punches you feminine hero!
glad you approve, nony. Say, can you play "Melancholy Baby?"
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