Saturday, July 21, 2007

"Big Sodomy"

"...big sodomy, talk about mudflaps, my gal's...got 'em...'e...
...beats a frontal lobotomy..."

What? Oh, yeah, speaking of the gaping-open Back Door to Evil (now you REALLY know what "narrow is the way and strait is the gate" is all about, eh?) the latest Threat to Civilization. Thanks to WorldNutDaily staying so on top of things, as is their wont.

Will ex-gays bring down 'Big Sodomy'?


Now "alternative" sexual lifestyles are all the rage. They, too, are killing people. And again, it's the "intellectual" cool, liberal, worldly, suave thing to do. The usual suspects are involved. All the big name colleges have special programs for promoting "alternative" sex. Businesses promote the Gay Olympics. Politicians like Barney Frank think they can foist alternative sex on people through their power positions. Hollywood uses its influence to turn the Marlboro Man into a spokesman for today's popular deadly activity, and major companies like Ford contribute funds from the shareholders' meager coffers to promote same-sex marriage. It's just like the bad old days of Big Tobacco, and the Grim Reaper is having a gay old time.

Even school boards, like that in Montgomery County, Md., are urging young students to accept this deadly habit and plying them with the message that anyone who perceives himself/herself as being of a certain sexual orientation is in fact stuck with that orientation and cannot escape. That's tantamount to a group of educators telling smokers that they were born to smoke, can't quit and shouldn't even try.

Of course, the promulgation of knowledge and data concerning the link between alternative sex and disease is hampered by the bullying tactics of the elite. . Thus, only a few facts are known at all to some of the public (such as the results of a study in Scandinavia showing that men in same-sex marriages die 24 years earlier than their counterparts in the general population), and these facts aren't mainstream, thanks to the media blackout on this issue and the muzzling of opponents under color of law. And that, in turn, is thanks to the activists.

So what will turn this movement around? Again, as in the case of smoking, I believe it will be the victims themselves. As soon as they smell the money.

After all, the biggest losers aren't the Christian right or grass-roots Americans, who have voted overwhelmingly against "alternative" definitions of marriage. The biggest losers are those who gaily fling themselves into the arms of the deadly beast that devours them whole.

Note the remarkable parallels with the smoking craze: In both cases, the promoters of the respective dangerous habits had been or are withholding evidence that undoubtedly would have led people not to indulge or to quit. Today, public elementary and secondary schools are doing just that, and in addition, some are teaching, as part of "sex education," methods for carrying out harmful sexual perversions, including "fisting."


Oh, merry merry me. Anyway, ex-gay spokespersons like this dude, or maybe this one, (or this one, or these guys)are "the first major chink in the ramparts of Big Sodomy."


huh huh huh, he said "ramparts."
Shh. Sorry about that. It's very serious. It is. Damn all of you anal sex apologists, anyway.** See, this is what you get for trying to bring about the Fall of Civilization. You'll fall, first. And skin your knees. And won't you be sorry.

**("Dear Asshole,

Fuck you. I'm sorry. But fuck you.")


--Don't you know that these practices, which everyone knew were Bad as far back as Sodom and were invented in a secular humanist hippie queer pomo gay heteropatriarchal laboratory in 1963 by "Dr." Magnus Flynt-Hefner Kinsey of Foucault U, are filthy and disgusting and painful and everybody knows it, which is why they're so dangerously attractive and we must put a stop to them at once and certainly mustn't ever stop talking about them in lurid detail? What's wrong with you, anyway?



h/t Republic of T

26 comments:

SnowdropExplodes said...

That kind of talk always makes me think of this sketch by "Not the Nine O'Clock News" with Rowan Atkinson as an "understanding" vicar...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=oPUE9xpxjcc

One more random thought floating through what I laughingly call me "mind": I'm puzzled by this term "big sodomy" - does that refer to the size of the aperture, or the instrument/organ of penetration, or the physical stature of the participants? And, is "small sodomy" more acceptable?

;-)

Sassywho said...

ummm, what exactly is the danger we are looking for again? i presume this "danger" is STD's, surely they have heard that het(presumably) get them too....

Daisy said...

Amazing they say certain lifestyles are killing people, while THEIR lifestyle, militarism, is killing hundreds of thousands! Some fucking nerve.

belledame222 said...

rug munching: dangerous and destructive

carpet bombing: O.K.!

Veronica said...

Ooh. From now on it's no longer "anal sex." It's "the deadly beast that devours you whole."

queen emily said...

Schools are teaching students fisting?

Lucky sods etc.

belledame222 said...

in elementary school, yet! and to think all that time I was dreading "handball" i had no idea what i was REALLY missing

queen emily said...

I know! Clearly we were let down by the education system. I had to learn about fisting the old fashioned way..

BEHIND THE BIKE SHEDS.

Seriously though, sex ed taught me that absolutely nothing exists other than monogamous heterosexuality. It couldn't have been straighter if it were taught by Straighty Mcstraighterton, mayor of Straight Town.

Sassywho said...

queen emily, apparently they have never seen this fisting for the christians

Veronica said...

I don't seem to remember the Bible having an official stance on fisting...

Rootietoot said...

You know, if we'd just eliminate sex altogether, if procreation were done via artificial insemination, if we stuck to using alternative methods of penetration (cucumbers, ears of corn, so on), this whole argument would be moot. You could penetrate anal, oral, vaginal, even aural (if you used something small like a carrot)and no one would would be hurt. Tho it might be hard to explain the cornsilk. (Honey, why is this long blonde hair here?)

Vegetable Sex, it's just weird enough to work. And much cheaper than those $130 glass dildoes, too.

Veronica- I don't think it says anything about oral sex, either. I'm sure I'd remember it if it did.

Jen in Ohio said...

Everything at WND reads like parody to me. It makes the planet tilt very dangerously whenever I remind myself that yes, indeed, these people are stone cold serious.

"the deadly beast that devours you whole."

I think that just makes it sound sexier. If someone said that to me about a woman they knew I'd be nudging them to hook me up.

faustopheles said...

And don't forget all those lesbian street gangs. :-)


Thus, only a few facts are known at all to some of the public (such as the results of a study in Scandinavia showing that men in same-sex marriages die 24 years earlier than their counterparts in the general population), and these facts aren't mainstream, thanks to the media blackout on this issue and the muzzling of opponents under color of law.


Or maybe the media has figured out that Paul Cameron is full of shit, as usual.

From sourcewatch
Paul Cameron, the chairman of the Family Research Institute, is a discredited Psychologist who has been kicked out of the American Psychological Association and condemed by the Nebraska Psychological Association and the American Socialogical Association. He has campaigned against the civil rights of homosexuals based on misrepresentations of science.

n the past, he has advocated facial tattoes for AIDS victims and the castration, deportation to a former leper colony, and even extermination of homosexuals.


Yeah, it must be some big conspiracy that this guy's research isn't plastered all over the news.

KH said...

Minor sidelight on Cameron. In the '80s, he was a collaborator w/ a guy called Wayne Lutton (aka Charles Lutton), a former acolye of Billy James Hargis (note the irony), prominent figure in the radical racist demimonde, associate of Holocaust deniers (he regularly published pseudonymously in their pseudo-scholarly house organ, The Journal of Historical Review), & now a leading intellectual of the antiimmigration movement. An authentic neo-snotzi. Small world, eh?

Octogalore said...

Love his suggestion of a "class-action lawsuit against the group or groups that persuaded them to enter into the activity that did them in" - as he earlier blames the media, inter alia, what's he recommending, a suit against Queer Eye for the Straight Guy? Lotsa luck.

Rebecca said...

*headdesk*

When I see something like this, I inevitably wonder how it made sense in the head of the author, let alone anyone else.

R. Mildred said...

I blame the beast with two backs.

he's always causing trouble.

Mandos said...

What? No blog post extolling my virtues? About how I made you see the light? How my radiant countenance temporarily blinded you? Not even effulgent, effervescent commentary on my wit, wisdom, and charm?

Pansexual Sodomite said...

As these poor critters realize they were manipulated by Karl Rove and that the last election was their peak of political power they will - if possible - get ever more hysterical.

As a long time practitioner I know Big Time Sodomy is here to stay.

JackGoff said...

I blame the beast with two backs.

I thought it was the librul feminazi cooter monster...though they may be the same thing, different aliases.

JackGoff said...

And "Big Sodomy" just sounds kinky as hell, doesn't it?

"So how did that orgy go this weekend?"

"Oh, it was Big Sodomy all the way!"

assembling words to armory, she waits... said...

i had NO IDEA that smoking and being gay were so correllative! like, OMG !

Carpenter said...

Awsome, can I be a lobbyist for 'Big Sodomy'? I'll write it on all the little note sections to checks I write to politcal campaigns.

KH said...

Carpenter, Fred Thompson beat you to it. And Christopher Buckley is writing a sequel to Thank You for Smoking, tentatively titled Thank You for Fucking Me in the Ass. Movie deal pending.

Carpenter said...

Oh, I wish there was a movie called Thank You for Fucing Me In the Ass.

Elizabeth McClung said...

The only issue I have with WorldNut is that lesbians never exist because they can't use words like "sodomy" and "400 anal partners a weekend..." - I always feel left out with right wing christian hate - I mean when they say, "AIDS is proof God hates gays" I'm like, "But since lesbians have the lowest rates, lower than straights and lower than straight Christians, does that mean God really, really loves lesbians?" - ah well, old arguements.

When will anyone right the article that being gay is okay but being a bigoted jerk who sees other people's sexuality as a personal threat IS a choice, and one you can (over time) be deprogrammed from - free yourself!