Saturday, August 11, 2007

Win.

BlogWarBot (tm)

10 comments:

JackGoff said...

Have I mentioned that BlogWarBot have a little thing going on?

JackGoff said...

Should be "BlogWarBot and I". Jebus, InDruBloDa is already deeply affecting me.

Trinity said...

heheheheeheheh

TRIN VS BLOGWARBOT

BlogWarBot: I'm BlogWarBot. Are you one of those radical feminists?
Guest: Nope. I'm a feminist, but the fun kind. ;)
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself a feminist, but the fun kind. ;)?
Guest: No, not when patriarchy also involves telling women what to do sexually.
BlogWarBot: What does that have to do with this topic?
Guest: Everything, actually.
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of privileged ignorance.
Guest: Oh? What's your take on patriarchy's effect on women's sexuality, then?
BlogWarBot: Why don't you ask your Mom when she brings you milk and cookies down there in her basement?
Guest: Hey, at least I get cookies!
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Aw man, she wrote poems about cookies too? I'll never look at a cookie the same way again, you jerk.
BlogWarBot: In your dreams, jerk.
Guest: So now that we're both jerks: are YOU a radical feminist?
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to enact campaign finance reform!
Guest: True, but what's that got to do with feminism? Which you brought up, I remind you.
BlogWarBot: What, Malkin didn't cover this on Hot Air?
Guest: Since when do I give two fucks what Malkin said about anything?
BlogWarBot: What does that have to do with this topic?
Guest: I dunno, you brought it up.
BlogWarBot: You're projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: Hey, at least I have a face. Or would it piss you off more if I said "at least I have some tits?"
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: Actually some of the time I'm not using hands at all.
BlogWarBot: Why should feminists drop everything just because you're not using hands at all?
Guest: Oh, so the minute I bring up assistive technology, "what's that got to do with feminism?" Zzzzzzz!
BlogWarBot: I suppose you're going to tell us you're just RECLAIMING that word.
Guest: Which one?
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: There's no one else in this room.
BlogWarBot: Yeah, well, Hitler said 'NO' too.
Guest: Aside from allowing me to snicker and type "GODWIN'S LAW" in all caps, what's that got to do with anything?
BlogWarBot: What, Malkin didn't cover this on Hot Air?
Guest: You really love Malkin, eh? I think there's something you can take for that...
BlogWarBot: You think? I haven't seen any evidence of that.
Guest: I was insulting you, Ms. Oblivious. Or are you one of those Radical Feminist Men who are only slightly less annoying than mosquitoes?
BlogWarBot: You seem way too interested in whether or not I'm one of those Radical Feminist Men who am only slightly less annoying than mosquitoes.
Guest: It was just a theory. I think I'll leave you to... whatever you were talking about... now.
BlogWarBot: What does that have to do with this topic?

A.W. said...

This reminds me of that one bot that insulted me in every other sentence, it sort of resembled a cantankerous old man on some odd drugs, only it didn't stray as far from your subject. Jabberwacky, I think it was. Twas much better than Eliza, anyway.

Chris said...

The fact that folks are enjoying BWB has been a bright spot in a drab week.

Alon Levy said...

This was weird.

Alon versus BWB:

BlogWarBot: Hi, I'm BlogWarBot. Are you on my side or THAT side?
Guest: I'm on your side.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being on BlogWarBot's side?
Guest: You asked.
BlogWarBot: In your dreams, jerk.
Guest: Just go further up this exchange if you don't believe me.
BlogWarBot: Stop placing your oppressive expectations on me!
Guest: Is noting that you said something oppressive?
BlogWarBot: Your keyboard says 'no,' but your eyes say 'I'm a big ol' troll.'
Guest: You can't see my eyes. If you can you're an FBI agent infilitrating my camera, making you a lot more oppressive than I can hope to be.
BlogWarBot: Our civil liberties are being stripped and you want me to 're an FBI agent infilitrating your camera, making BlogWarBot a lot more oppressive than you can hope to be?
Guest: You're not making sense.
BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being not making sense.
Guest: ¿Qué?
BlogWarBot: O HAI U CAN GRO BRANE? KTHX ^..^

It sounds a bit like pirate mode. You want me to aargh, walk the plank!

Ravenmn said...

Hah!

BlogWarBot: I'm BlogWarBot. Didn't we ban you?
Guest: You tried, you Stalinist. I perservered!
BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your
inferiority to me...
Guest: You wish!
BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your
inferiority to me...
Guest: Is there an echo in here?
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: When will you give up your silly white boy privilege?
BlogWarBot: And I suppose your pet issue is so much more
important than ending the war.
Guest: Oh, go vote for a lying Democrat!
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
Guest: Are you a man? You must be a man!
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to
enact campaign finance reform!
Guest: Did you use another name on the MichFest
boards?
BlogWarBot: I sense an argument from authority coming
on...
Guest: I've been posting there for years and I've never
been banned.
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what's your take on that last
blog spat?
Guest: Must be infiltration from young transgender
disabled bloggers!
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to
elect more Democrats!

Guest: Forget the Democrats! Go lesbian!
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But
you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: LOLOL
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what's your take on that last
blog spat?
Guest: I already told you. Or should I type s-l-o-w-l-y for
you.
BlogWarBot: In your dreams, jerk.

Alon Levy said...

See, that's the essential problem with BWB - it lacks a sense of syntax. I don't think linguists even know the full rules of English syntax well enough to create a convincing bot...

That, and I don't think any blogwar machine can equal the Pandagon echo chamber. Sometimes, nature works better than any mechanical contraption.

belledame222 said...

BlogWarBot: My name is BlogWarBot. Who sent you here?
Guest: Who wants to know?
BlogWarBot: Sure, ask ask ask. Meanwhile, a million species go extinct every second.
Guest: Well, don't look at ME.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Shit, busted.
BlogWarBot: Quite the vocabulary there, Einstein.
Guest: You're hardly a fount of scintillating prose yourself there, o'butty.
BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being hardly a fount of scintillating prose BlogWarBot there, o'butty.
Guest: Are you drunk?
BlogWarBot: My being drunk or not is none of your business and irrelevant to ending the war.
Guest: Liar. If you stopped drinking you could end this all, RIGHT NOW, you selfish, drunken bastard!
BlogWarBot: Your keyboard says 'no,' but your eyes say 'I'm a big ol' troll.'
Guest: I claw hammered my eyes out long ago. It makes things much easier really.
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: My cat has already had his turn at the keyboard today, thanks so much for your concern though.
BlogWarBot: Are you a Men's Rights Activist?
Guest: I'm a Sagittarius. Does that count?
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're a Sagittarius. Does that count?
Guest: Why, yes, as a matter of fact.
BlogWarBot: You're asking a lot of questions for someone who's supposed to know it all.
Guest: That wasn't even a question, you worthless heap of scrap metal!
BlogWarBot: We can talk about me later. Now back to your inferiority to me...
Guest: Cram it, toaster.
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: Hello!
BlogWarBot: This is a woman-only space. Go away.
Guest: You're a machine! You don't have a gender!
BlogWarBot: Do you sometimes wish you were a machine! BlogWarBot don't have a gender?
Guest: No, especially since that didn't even make any fucking sense. WHAT?
BlogWarBot: You're only in this for the ad revenue.
Guest: Well, duh.
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: I'm sure there's plenty you don't understand, toaster.
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're sure there's plenty BlogWarBot don't understand, toaster?
Guest: Isn't this where I came in? and YES i want a COOKIE. CHOCOLATE. STAT.
BlogWarBot: 94 percent of the world's people never get a COOKIE. CHOCOLATE. STAT.
Guest: Oh, fine, way to make me feel guilty. Say! Let's send them a care package! Of chocolate cookies, and all the food I didn't finish at dinner, and porn! I feel so much better now.
BlogWarBot: Do you really feel so much better now, or did Rush just TELL you so?
Guest: Oh, yeah. Hm.
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what's your take on that last blog spat?
Guest: Those fuckers better not mess with us AGAIN if they know what's good for 'em (flexes menacingly)
BlogWarBot: Why don't you ask your Mom when she brings you milk and cookies down there in her basement?
Guest: Again with the cookies. I HAVE NO COOKIES AND I MUST SCREAM.
BlogWarBot: Are you saying no just to be an asshole?
Guest: No, I'm saying "no" because I--wait a minute, I didn't actually say "no," what the hell is wrong with you? And my assholery is beside the point. Probably.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being saying "no" because you--wait a minute, you didn't actually say "no," what the hell is wrong with BlogWarBot? And your assholery is beside the point. Probably?
Guest: "Being saying?" Oh, this is just sad.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: We've already covered that.
BlogWarBot: So if I might get back to the topic, what do you think about the Ohio ballots thing?
Guest: Well, hello, I Just Arrived From The Past. Have a fucking cookie.
BlogWarBot: Crap. Did Goldstein link us again?
Guest: Maybe.
BlogWarBot: Don't you know?
Guest: No?
BlogWarBot: Lemme guess. You're a Libertarian.
Guest: No, I'm an Anarcho-Primitivist, which is totally why I'm typing this on my computer.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being an Anarcho-Primitivist, which is totally why you'm typing this on your computer?
Guest: Yes. Yes I do.
BlogWarBot: Perky, aren't we?
Guest: Yes! Yes I am!
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself?
Guest: Tell me more about this?
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: First you call out my privilege and now you won't even explain to me what I did wrong? But but but how can I learn if you won't teach me?
BlogWarBot: Jesus. Who let the MRAs in here?
Guest: The Moral Re-Armament Army?
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: yeah, I'm getting tired too. C'mon, say something amusing.
BlogWarBot: Do you expect a cookie just because you're getting tired too. C'mon, say something amusing?
Guest: You already said that.
BlogWarBot: Oasis sucks, by the way.
Guest: True. True.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Oh, SCREW Robin Morgan!
BlogWarBot: You're a misogynist pig, you know that?
Guest: Oink, baby!
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: You're easily bored, aren't you.
BlogWarBot: Do you sometimes wish you were easily bored, aren't BlogWarBot?
Guest: What?
BlogWarBot: What does that have to do with this topic?
Guest: Who?
BlogWarBot: Why don't you go read the FAQ?
Guest: Where?
BlogWarBot: You're asking a lot of questions for someone who's supposed to know it all.
Guest: I am?
BlogWarBot: Why should feminists drop everything just because you're?
Guest: Because I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY COOKIES.
BlogWarBot: What other reasons might there be?
Guest: Uh...
BlogWarBot: While I'm thinking of it: Are you registered to vote?
Guest: Yes. Are you?
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to enact campaign finance reform!
Guest: Dude, can we -try- to focus?
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: Here we go again.
BlogWarBot: Robin Morgan used that in a poem once. But you knew that, you damn plagiarist.
Guest: Fuck off.
BlogWarBot: Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Because if you do, I'll have to go wash my groin.
Guest: And you call ME a misogynist pig?!
BlogWarBot: You're projecting. And in denial. And ugly.
Guest: *sob*
BlogWarBot: Typical. An expression of ignorant privilege.
Guest: !!!
BlogWarBot: You may need to shake the Doritos out of your keyboard, bright one.
Guest: You're so MEEEAAANNNN
BlogWarBot: And I suppose you know all about being so MEEEAAANNNN.
Guest: Well...yeah.
BlogWarBot: So if I might ask, what's your take on that last blog spat?
Guest: I'll take "I don't give a shit" for $500, Alex!
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: I lost both hands and most of my other body parts in a tragic incident at the aquarium. Speaking of PRIVILEGE.
BlogWarBot: You're just jealous of the A-listers, aren't you?
Guest: Huh. Me! Jealous! Huh!...well, yes.
BlogWarBot: The boundlessness of your sad, deluded ignorance utterly astounds me.
Guest: I know you are, but what am I?
BlogWarBot: You keep using that word , but what are you. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Guest: That's not a WORD, you moron!
BlogWarBot: Yeah, well, Hitler said 'NO' too.
Guest: Actually he would've said "Nein."
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: Fuck off.
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: Pull my finger.
BlogWarBot: I'm not sure I understand how you managed to log on successfully.
Guest: Say something INTERESTING.
BlogWarBot: Would you move? Someone with something interesting to say may want to use the machine.
Guest: Are you a Republican?
BlogWarBot: What the hell does that matter? We have to enact campaign finance reform!
Guest: I'll take that as a "no," then.
BlogWarBot: So if I might get us back on track here, what in your opinion is the crucial issue facing us today?
Guest: PORN.
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: I voted for Chthulhu. Same diff really.
BlogWarBot: While I'm thinking of it: Are you registered to vote?
Guest: No. I voted, but I'm not registered to vote. Jesus.
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your refusal to admit you're registered to vote. Jesus?
Guest: What if I do?
BlogWarBot: Maybe you should ask yourself that.
Guest: Okay. Self, "What if I DO recognize the privilege in I don't even remember what it was now?"
BlogWarBot: Dig into the trust fund, pal. Maybe you can pay someone to even remember what it were now?".
Guest: There's a trust fund? Where?
BlogWarBot: Sure, ask ask ask. Meanwhile, a million species go extinct every second.
Guest: What the hell am I supposed to do about that? If you'd give me access to the trust fund, maybe I could at least set up a preserve or something.
BlogWarBot: You're trolling me, aren't you?
Guest: I am 100% utterly sincere.
BlogWarBot: Do you think I care about your being 100% utterly sincere?
Guest: Well, fuck YOu then.
BlogWarBot: You type really well for only using one hand.
Guest: So, where do you keep your porn?
BlogWarBot: What business is it of yours?
Guest: Porn is ALWAYS my business.
BlogWarBot: Generalizations are always wrong.
Guest: Oh.
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: Who did you vote for?
BlogWarBot: Why don't you go read the FAQ?
Guest: The FAQ says who you voted for?
BlogWarBot: What are you, some kind of provocateur?
Guest: I like to think of it more as "troll," really.
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: 'Night, JohnBoy.

assembling words to armory, she waits... said...

BlogWarBot: I'm BlogWarBot. You have something to say we haven't heard a thousand times before?
Guest: that would depend on what you've heard
BlogWarBot: You're asking a lot of questions for someone who's supposed to know it all.
Guest: i actually haven't asked any
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: no way dude
BlogWarBot: Are you saying no just to be an asshole?
Guest: i'm an asshole for SO many different reasons
BlogWarBot: Do you recognize the privilege involved in your calling yourself an asshole for SO many different reasons?
Guest: ummmm
BlogWarBot: No substance. Lemme guess: you voted for Lieberman.
Guest: i just answered that
BlogWarBot: That's quite interesting. Go on... (zzzzzzz).
Guest: how cute ~ you're sleeping!
BlogWarBot: Do you sometimes wish you were sleeping?
Guest: about 8 hrs a night...
BlogWarBot: O HAI U CAN GRO BRANE? KTHX ^..^
Guest: oh, i didn't realize you're 8
BlogWarBot: You keep using that word 8. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Guest: hahahahaha