Friday, August 03, 2007

Dear Person(s) in charge of deciding pop-up ads for (mumble) site:

Please do not emblazon "Do we eat spiders in our sleep?", complete with graphics of big crawly spiders, across the top of my screen.

I don't care that the answer is "no." I don't care that it (obviously) got me to click on it. That was dirty pool.

and no, before you ask, I don't want some disgusting ad with visuals of a dirty pool for whatever reason -either.-

i hate you a lot,

etc. etc.

16 comments:

kactus said...

you know, somebody told me months ago this thing about how the average person eats x amount of spiders in their sleep during their lifetime. I didn't question it at first, cuz godless knows I've had plenty of spiders bite me in my sleep, and I used to sleep with my mouth open, and it just made sense.

But then I started wondering: how do they know this? They're not surveilling people in their sleep. Did they just pluck some arbitrary number out of the air and say that's how many spiders we'll eat in our lifetime? And again, how do they know? And if they know spiders are crawling into our mouths while we sleep, why aren't they coming up with some invention to stop this spider invasion???

This was at the point that I decided the spider-eating thing was just a bunch of baloney.

Hope that helps.

Zenobia said...

I would have thought spiders would have more sense than to crawl into a gaping maw full of digestive fluids that will drown them and probably kill them in minutes. Even flies don't do that shit unless you're actually walking towards them, and they've got, well, the IQ of a fly.

Maybe I'm just in denial because when I lived in the country I had a badly insulated room, and probably ate all types of horrible things in my sleep. I even had a hornet hibernating in there, every spring this huge stripey thing would fly out from behind the beams making a noise like the Luftwaffe.

Interestingly, my mum went to school in Kenya, and she said some of the girls would quite often eat beetles and things in the playground. Still, as far as I'm concerned, four legs good, six at a pinch if it's seafood, eight legs way too many to contemplate.

Rootietoot said...

Yeah..once someone told me cockroaches run in and out of your mouth all night, that's why your breath smells (couldn't have been an older brother..oh no.)

Just the thought...imagining all those legs and nastiness. It still bothers me 30 years later.

I think that's the lowest form of whatever it is..getting your attention for ad purposes.

Sassywho said...

jeebus belle, i already have a hard enough time sleeping and somehow i've manage to make it through life without this teeny bit of information, gahhh tonight is going to suck.

Elayne said...

Oh ick, I hate that one too. I get it when I'm playing Tower Blaster over at Game Rival. Seriously creepy.

kactus said...

rootie, it's centipedes, not cockroaches, that run in and out of your life. At least, if my extreme centipede phobia is telling me the truth, which I'm sure it is.

Alon Levy said...

The spiders you swallow aren't the big ones; they're microscopic mites. Obviously, you don't ever swallow tarantulas.

Rootietoot said...

Kactus- it's my cockroach phobia telling me this.

My 8 yr old last night asked if the dark shiny things in the rice were roach wings. (it was wild rice). I had to self-medicate after that.

centipedes...all those legs...they are unnatural IMO, but cockroaches are malevolent.

assembling words to armory, she waits... said...

i awoke once in my bed, frozen and petrified in fear, to indeed, have an 8-legged freak crawling over my lips. thank god my mouth was closed. don't think i slept for a week after that one...

stacey said...

ewwww. spiders? in people's mouths?
i don't believe it...just too...gross!

crip-power.com

A.W. said...

Speaking of spiders, I saw a nine legged one once back when I lived in the middle o' nowhere. It was clinging to the living room wall, I pointed it out to my brother, but when we turned around to take a closer look the damn thing had bolted for the hills. Which in this case was probably my bedroom, since it was part of the loft.

There's also an obscenely large one lurking outside my window as I type, but I already checked the screen, it can't get in. Thank god, because I have no raid.

Amber said...

My 8 yr old last night asked if the dark shiny things in the rice were roach wings. (it was wild rice). I had to self-medicate after that.

Bwahahahaha!!!

The good news, about why your breath smells when you wake up, is something about saliva production slowing during sleep. How plebian, I know.

R. Mildred said...

The good news, about why your breath smells when you wake up, is something about saliva production slowing during sleep. How plebian, I know.

And here I was thinking it was because the morning breath fairy comes around when you're asleep and takes a dump in your mouth.

Alon Levy said...

Are you sure it's saliva, Amber? I learned that it's because you sleep with your mouth closed, which reduces oxygen levels inside the mouth cavity and allows anaerobic bacteria to grow.

Nella said...

Ew, never thought of this one. I did, however, once make the mistake of tipping the remains of a packet of peanuts straight into my mouth after it had been hanging around in the kitchen for a few weeks... then felt something *moving* in my mouth... by this point you can probably guess what got spat out, luckily without being chewed!

belledame222 said...

AUUGGHHH