on further edit: a clear summary of what went down, and who, is here. I am very sorry that the person who was being appropriated from has withdrawn, temporarily, I hope, from the blogosphere.
Look. It's not that difficult a concept. A woman who's under the radar, relative to you, posts important news stories that are, in turn, under the radar. Both her under-the-radarness and the stories' have to do with, surprise, marginalization in ways that go beyond simple sexism: y'know, racism AND sexism, for instance. She works hard at building community and getting the word out about important stories. You, on the other hand, are primarily concerned with self-aggrandizement.
For a year or two or more, you steadfastly ignore her, on the whole. Certainly you don't bother to link to the stories she's covering; that would be too much like giving someone else credit. No. You wait. Maybe you're even at the same conference as this other woman, not so long ago, wherein she speaks on these same issues. And then, you post the stories and the POV the woman has been eloquently -trying- to get you to listen to for all this time...without a hint that you know who this person is. Kudos rain in. For you. Applause, applause, there's nothing like applause.
Oh, yeah, and meanwhile, you're getting published by the same publishing house as the one that a bunch of WoC have just taken to task for not-so-benign neglect and a recent jaw-dropping display of arrogance and lalala-we're-not-racist-you're-just-unreasonable -and-mean. Which has pretty much been your tune all along, also, wrt these very same women.
No, okay, I'll even bite: let's say for one minute that it's not racism that's the root problem here, as in, You Are Not A Racist, (because that's all that really matters here, right?) Nu, so okay. Then, it's this:
Self-involvement to the point of solipsism. Superficiality. Vanity. Laziness. Greed. Spite, even. Really, just general all-round crappy-ass behavior and piss-poor ethics. Which, in this case, dovetails nicely into already existing structures meant to support such behavior as well as certain demographics who've codified power for themselves in various institutionalized manners.
To wit, and in short: ASSHOLERY.
Which can include, but is not limited to, institutionalized sexism, racism, homophobia, etc. etc. etc. This is where small-a assholery becomes Structural Assholery.
Ah, but, at the same time: the personal is political, neh?
So, whee, fight the power, we're all feminists here, making a better world blahblah yesyesyes; but whoops, immigration doesn't affect me I mean "us" -personally-; but! say look it's getting to be a hot topic, I know! It'd make a great article subject! --o, what is it NOW? First you're all mad at me because I don't talk about it, and now you're mad because I do? Oh, what, now, you want me to acknowledge my sources, too? GOD. Why must you all be so unreasonable? You see, this is why you're not as successful as I am, because you're always complaining. p.s. yr just JELLUS.
Which, yes, of course: because fuck knows that book deals and racking up the hits and winning the election are the bottom line here. I mean, you are every woman, it's all in you; therefore, we should all be HAPPY that you're such a SUCCESS, right? God: everyone else is so SELFISH, aren't they?
***on further edit: and Sylvia spells it out v-e-r-y s-lo-w-l-y.***
and I gotta say, BA? I feel it too. In a different way, and a totally different and unrelated situation (not going into it, not blog-related. actually, a bunch of different things besides that as well), but you know what: yeah. Don't mean to hijack, you're dead on right, just noting, personally: Yeah.
I don't necessarily WANT TO TALK.
...when that conversation predicates on saying well hey even though I was in your space,felt unsafe , felt , unwelcome, was mistreated
just because you didn't intend to means you did nothing wrong. That requires I absolve guilt before we even talk
...I have a place to go, I have presses and conferences, and friends and interests and ways to work and build
Like any other human being so when some wants something a dialogue
They are ASKING me something
and yes you have to ask me in a way I want.
This burden I can lay down.
...I don't have to make you feel good about asking for something YOU want.
...I am willing when I am treated how I want to be treated to talk to ANYONE but no I no longer and should have never had to keep dealing with ANYONE just in the name of "solidarity"
when I have the choice of dealingw ith those I want and can see building actual change with
and that includes my very crazy foul mouthed