So over at Bitch | Lab, we had been starting to examine a question originally posed by Twisty, namely,
"“What I want to know is, who among us hasn’t been forced or shamed or guilted or brainwashed into fucking someone we really didn’t want to fuck? Does such a woman exist? Are you that girl? Gimme a holler.”
As you can see if you go there (please do), there are some distractions along the way, but on the whole some interesting answers come up. Among them the clear notion that the whole "sexual pressuring=male to female" is overly simplistic, and tends to shut out a lot of, say, gay and lesbian experience. Which has been my complaint for a while now, the overwhelming heterocentricity of the way these discussions often seem to play out in the Big Feminist Blogs (for instance).
So now, though, I read a piece by the inimitable Biting Beaver, Radical Feminist (tm). As is her wont, BB here extrapolates from her own experience to the entire rest of the world. In this case: patriarchy-brainwashed bisexual gal pal kept trying to rope her into a threesome, once she (BB that is; bi galpal remained single the whole time, apparently, the way oversexed bi folk tend to do perhaps) got a Man. And so we learn:
Heterosexual females are bombarded with the male desire for bisexuality. We are steeping in this bisexuality pressure.
From Heterosexual women are sometimes called ‘Vanilla’ and even ‘Uptight’. Mary thinks there is nothing wrong with a straight woman being pressured into bisexual sex with her boyfriend or husband. She wouldn’t see this as rape, or as sexual harassment, or even as wrong. Rather, she sees it as a woman “doing something she may not want to do, but love is all about compromise”. From thinly veiled pressure from men in the form of “Girl on Girl action is so HOT!!” to rowdy bars where men pressure otherwise straight women to tongue kiss for their viewing pleasure, all the way down to the sexualization of bisexuality in a teen magazine, there is intense pressure.
And heterosexual women are being caught in the crossfire.
I gotta say: I must have been hanging out in the wrong circles all these years. Anyway I don't remember any pressure to be bisexual, especially. Of course, I was kind of busy with the whole pressure to be straight thing. Maybe that comes first, and then the bi thing. After you get a boyfriend, I mean; maybe that's when all the insidious bi women start slithering after you. I, like, wouldn't know.
So I open this up to you, Gentle Readers: has this ever happened to you? Have you been pressured to make out with your gal pal for the benefit of a drooling hetboy? Have you pressured a gal pal to make out with you or another gal pal for the benefit of a drooling hetboy? Are you a hetboy who pressures gal pals to make out with each other? Do you drool?
I figure after I get four, maybe five responses I can publish the study. Research is important, you know.