Saturday, July 29, 2006

And this just in: Mel Gibson is an anti-semitic fanatic and has springs coming out'n his head

I know, I'm shocked, too.

Via Ilyka Damen, in turn via Pam at Pandagon.

According to the report, Gibson became agitated after he was stopped on Pacific Coast Highway and told he was to be detained for drunk driving Friday morning in Malibu. The actor began swearing uncontrollably. Gibson repeatedly said, "My life is f****d." ...

Once inside the car, a source directly connected with the case says Gibson began banging himself against the seat. The report says Gibson told the deputy, "You mother f****r. I'm going to f*** you." The report also says "Gibson almost continually [sic] threatened me saying he 'owns Malibu' and will spend all of his money to 'get even' with me."

The report says Gibson then launched into a barrage of anti-Semitic statements: "F*****g Jews... The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world." Gibson then asked the deputy, "Are you a Jew?"

The deputy became alarmed as Gibson's tirade escalated, and called ahead for a sergeant to meet them when they arrived at the station. When they arrived, a sergeant began videotaping Gibson, who noticed the camera and then said, "What the f*** do you think you're doing?"

A law enforcement source says Gibson then noticed another female sergeant and yelled, "What do you think you're looking at, sugar tits?"


***

Those f*****rs!

But don't worry, he's already on the road to recovery/penance.

On Saturday, Gibson released the following statement:

"After drinking alcohol on Thursday night, I did a number of things that were very wrong and for which I am ashamed...


***

Oh, Mel. Mel, Mel, Mel...I'm afraid that after this little outburst the Comfy Chair just won't suffice. Wait here while I fetch the razored cat o'nine; the Iron Maiden that doubles as an over-voltaged tanning bed/grilled cheese press; and the ducking-stool-and-piranha-tank. Yes. Wait right here. Don't move a muscle.

And try not to drool on the carpet, darling.

7 comments:

Tuffy said...

I am SO THRILLED about this. After all those pre-Passion self-justifications, finally we get to see the real Mel. BD, did you see that the cops tried to file a cleaned-up report, but the guy who wrote the original report leaked it?

This is a funny discussion of the news:

http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/53405

And I love his big nappy beard in the pic at TMZ (two breaks in this URL for space):

http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/28/
gibsons-anti-semitic-tirade-
alleged-cover-up

belledame222 said...

I saw just the bottom edge of the beard/face along with the headline and thought, "oh, swell, another Bin Laden tape"

hahaha

Tuffy said...

Actually I would love to see those two in a cage match

dwayne m said...

I fucking knew it.



Each moment of "The Passion" read to me like something Josef Goebbels would have eagerly co-signed to.


And in (somewhat) related news...

Gibson's meltdown marks the second 1980s/90s Hollywood hunk who has been unmasked as bat shit insane.

With, of course, Mr. Cruise (where's that damn baby?) being cranial exhibit number one.

And now, without too much further ado, it's time for the obligatory Chuck D quote I pull out of my back pocket whenever the gods arrange events to make it contextually appropriate:

Burn Hollywood burn

belledame222 said...

Heh.

Yeah, no kidding.

And not just Hollywood either. Have you noticed that there seems to be some sort of...karmic effect going around lately? not justice in any super-useful sense, more of a things-which-were-hidden-now-revealed/
schadenfreude-inducing sense? like, across the boards?

maybe it's just me

belledame222 said...

per Cruisebaby:

i can't help but think a horrified Mia Farrow screaming to a group full of elderly cult members,

"What have you done to him?! You witches!! What have you done to his eyes??!"

"He has His Father's eyes."

ba DUMP bahhh!

dwayne m said...

Regarding the 'karmic effect'...

No, it's not just you noticing this.

The 21st century is shaping up to be the blowback era.

Future historians, if any, will create elaborate cause and effect maps tracing the sources of the multiple denouements exploding like firework shells.

Perhaps they'll call this the Denouement Century.

Or maybe, "one hundred years of 'oh shit!'"