Thirdly, am I a "feminist?"
If, by feminist, you mean I believe women should have social, political, economic and all other rights equal to those of men, I am a feminist.
If, by feminist, you also mean I am passionate about "women's issues," such as rape, domestic violence, eating disorders, breast cancer, HPV awareness, women's plight during wartime, and such, than you bet my big dykey boots I'm a feminist.
If, however, by feminist, you mean I have a duty to "educate," judge and possibly reject women based on their choices in areas of makeup/"femininity," porn, plastic surgery, sexual preference and/or identity; and that I should also reject transgendered folks and make general blanket statements about complex gray areas, then no, I am not a feminist.
I ain't likin' that.
I am a feminist.
I'll think I'll not allow that to be taken from me any longer.
Because you know what?
Sister, if you walk around preachin' and judgin' and rejectin' and giggling' and "sexbottin'" and "Don't worry, no one is going to take your precious mascara away from you, Sweetie," than guess what?
Methinks you are the Faux Feminist around these parts and frankly a six-year old could deduce the reason why.
...And arguing with other feminists about this shit is not fun. Having different opinions on what to wear, to paint the face or not, on what consenting people can do in the name of sexual pleasure, or even if a person who was born in the wrong body should get to correct that? Not fun. Interesting, but inevitably collapses into insults and mob tactics. Disagreeing with you does not make us ‘fun feminists’. It makes us feminists with a different fucking opinion. We’re not sucking up to the boyz, ladies, we are…oh…standing up for own opinions.
And at the end of the day, well, I think if maybe one of us “fun feminists” can make sure a woman who is getting beaten by her partner can get the help that she needs or some child does not have to worry about having her clitoris cut out or some woman, mother, does not get her breasts cut off in an ‘act of war’ or some child gets the opportunity to not only learn to read but see a real doctor…well, sorry if that ranks a little higher on my list than if a consenting woman decides to pose in Playboy or take a pole-dancing class.
So yeah, I am sex-positive and like me some porn. But I also know all about how young girls, babies, are getting raped in South Africa because some men are told that sex with a young, pure, virgin girl will rid them of HIV. I know more than I want to about what goes on in the mining of conflict diamonds. I know about the abuses, sexual and otherwise, that face women, children and men in the garment industry, migrant farm labor, and tech based sweatshops. I know about women who get beat to a near bloody pulp by abusive partners. I know about women who get stoned, set on fire, and murdered for the mere accusation of impurity. Shoot, I know what it is like to get beaten myself. Fun fun, isn’t it? Just a barrel of fucking laughs…
If you don’t start crying or screaming first.
So, do us all a favor, take the ‘fun feminist’ label and shove it up your ass, okay? That’s exactly where it belongs, because it is shit.
Feminism is not fun, not even the lipstick wearing sex-positive kind.