Thursday, June 14, 2007

ah, so THAT'S where the Twinkie Defense came from.

That is...Mom and Dad lied to me about the tooth fairy, whereupon finding out i became disillusioned with both Jesus and tooth brushing; my soul and my molars decayed at a rapid pace until I was forced to KILL, KILL...

look, work with me here, okay? It all made sense at the time.

...yes, it's the lovely and talented Jack Chick, Inc.. who, you will also be pleased to know, is now branching out with the diversity.

h/t Tough Like a Creampuff

13 comments:

Sabrina Star said...

Speaking of branching out with the diversity, my favorite Chick tract of all time is the one geared towards Indians (just pictures, you know, because Indians are illiterate) showing Indians as dirty until cleaned by the Lord upon becoming Christian.

Trinity said...

"Best Friend is now Soul Sisters"

BAHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA.

belledame222 said...

SS, yeah, i was just thinking about that one too, thanks for bringing it up.

Veronica said...

Nothing ever comes close to the high-larious one about the dangers of Dungeons and Dragons.

grendelkhan said...

You know, I always liked how in The Sandman, the Endless look different depending on who's doing the looking. (Come to think of it, that's kind of Vorlon of them.) When the white characters see Dream, he looks like a skinny white guy; when one of the stories takes place in ancient Africa, he looks like their local equivalent; when he talks to the Martian Manhunter, he looks Martian, and when cats dream of him, he looks like a big black cat.

So, in short, Jesus is a Vorlon. Makes a kind of sense, when you think about it.

Moira said...

Nothing ever comes close to the high-larious one about the dangers of Dungeons and Dragons.

Dammit! I played D&D for years and never got recruited. Who do I have to kill around here to get some damn powers? Huh?

arrogantworm said...

Changing the characters isn't 'special attention'. Ugh. Damn tract.

Nothing ever comes close to the high-larious one about the dangers of Dungeons and Dragons

Oh, I dunno. Harry Potter's been a popular condemnation topic, m'sure they'll get to that eventually, if they haven't already.

Thin Black Duke said...

"The black tracts were especially useful to tell the people of color that they are special enough for Chick Publications to make a special edition of the tract line just for them."

You...you...mean..I'm special! Special enough even for Chick Publications! My goodness!

"They often feel neglected and marginalized and appreciate the special attention when it is given."

It took them this long to figure out that people of color often feel this way? You'd think that god would have clued them onto that one a while ago. I'm just glad that now that god has gotten around to letting them in on the secret that he also told them how much people of color appreciate patronizing "special attention."

Coloring in the characters so that they are now black. Now that's some special attention!

belledame222 said...

You see? You, too can join in on the joys of condemning gays, Catholics, Moslems, and much much more!

ArrogantWorm said...

'special attention' always reminded me of 'special rights' the way they use it. That brand of specialness is so considerate it deserves a steel toed boot to the ass. Maybe even two. Changes in literature like that shouldn't be considered special, it helps things stay the same, and there's no way to be missing it.

Fucking over people and the word. Takes some talent, that. Well, maybe not so much.

Summer said...

Why, WHY did you send me there? Now I have to bathe for 5 hours and, I don't know, sacrifice a lamb.

I don't have a lamb.

Anonymous said...

Jack Chick never met a non-Christian he didn't hate. At least he's an equal opportunity hater. Did you all hear about the film of 9 of Jack Chick Tracts called "Hot Chicks." It played at the LA Film Festival and the New Fest in New York. It's like 9 short films made from Jack's tracts. Here is a link to their site, you can get see if it showing near you or get the DVD. www.316now.com

belledame222 said...

oh, that sounds like fun.

well, he likes us Old Testament folks well enough. personally i'd feel a bit "darling you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble" if i, you know, took him remotely seriously. but yeah, that "no really, we loooooooove the Chosen People! (even though they're going to hell too if they don't convert)" thing is pretty prevalent in that milieu.