Friday, June 08, 2007

Well, here we go again with Laffs-A-Minute

From the aftermath of the aftermath of a particularly nasty blowup, we learn, once again, that some people are really just fucking stunted. From Chuck in comments at feministe, dredging up some of the choicer remarks, I mean besides the eponymous "What are we going to do with you, kitten?" (no, i'm not gonna lay out the whole original drama just yet, gimme a sec):

Modern feminists poop (I think) but their shit don’t stink. Modern feminists can call other people names (misogynists, MRAs, FRAs, godbags, …) but modern feminists make sure that no one can say anything that would make fun of women or classes that they feel should be protected.

No fat jokes, no ping pong ball jokes, no blonde jokes, no ann coulter jokes, NO JOKES, except for jokes about men, white men.

No fat jokes, no racist/stripper-bashing jokes, no sexist dumb blonde jokes, no misogynist (no, dumbass, "misogynist" is not a -joke-, not an -insult-, that is a -description-. "Dumbass" -is- an insult, yes, genius, very good), transphobic "Mann Coulter" jokes? Butbutbut then -where's the funny in life?-

"Look, I'm gonna fool you. You dunno my act. I've got it -down- now. I work to Jewish people--I've learned how to say 'toe-kiss.' I work to the Italian people--I've got the mamma mia bit---I got it all down. I got a Jolson finish, I'll -murder- them now! You kiddin? I got so many bits now..."

Alright, into the toilet. Nothing. Into the shithouse. People are staring at him, complete blank-out. Now, after fifteen minutes he's starting to sweat...And in his inadequacy he vents his hostility on the audience:

"Ah, squares--bullshit!"

It's embarrassing...

"Folks, um, I tell you what, here's a bit that everyone likes...Folks, I'm gonna do a tune now for Al Jolson. Now you can knock me, but don't knock a guy that's dead, awright? Don't knock a guy that helped a lotta servicemen, awright?..."

...That exploitation of the dead didn't work, and it's verfallen, and he's back to the dressing room, the comedian:

Vomiting sounds, then a knock at the door

"Come in..."

In comes the house booker.


"Now just a minute.

"What? Did I hear 'just a minute?' Just a minute for what? To return to the Crusades? Look, Bomb-o, you stunk it up out there, you know that, don't you? Son, you don't use narcotics, do you? Cause that's the only realization I could have-you could be oblivious to the cacophany of sound out there. Son well, why...what are you -looking- at me for, you psychotic bastard, you? You're not funny, you sonovabitch! Get up! When I came out this afternoon I thought that--you're not funny. Everyone in the whole world is funny and you're not funny. That's crude, you see. But, I mean, the world is filled with unfunny people, and you're one of them, you leper! ...Now, you sign this [release] right now."

"Now just a minute."

"Just a minute for what?"

"I didn't do my spicy-blue-riské number yet."

--The Essential Lenny Bruce

So, okay, and what happened was--well, you can get the lowdown at Ilyka's as well as that feministe thread, and the links therein. Big ol' fucking shitstorm, misunderstandings and poor judgment leading to various people being unnecessarily assy to what looks very much like the aftermath of the Donner Party in some places. Yay, Progressives (or whatever the fuck "we" are) Thunderdome!

And, I probably have an opinion as to who's right(er) there, but first, I just want to note: what STARTED all this was a -really- funny bit (yes, Virginia, that is sarcasm) from some -rightwing- fuckstain, who decided that the untimely death of blogger Steve Gilliard was an occasion for his special brand of -satire:-, his -bit-:

Which brings us to today’s marquee morbidity. The tragic, untimely death of Donk House Negro and all around bigot Steve Gilliard. Who knew that boiling bacon grease in a spoon and mainlining it into the neck vein was bad for your health?

When called, rather predictably, on being a worthless paramecium, Prince Charming's responses have included such gems as

What is it about having a vagina that makes someone so stupid?

Over at Pouty Piss Pants, to this very minute they’re still debating what splinter cell of the KKK I belong to.

It’s not fair that their vote counts the same as mine when they so obviously don’t exercise leash laws on their wandering uterii.

Sorry for this outburst. It just upsets me when I see people like that giving pussy a bad name.

More "satire," right, o'butty? You don't really -mean- that, you're just -showing us what it feels like- to be called something -hateful-.

Like so:

Am I taking the wrong lesson from Gilliard’s death, Jon?

Is there some greater message I am supposed to be receiving from the left side of the blogosphere greater than “be as mean and vicious as you can” so that you will be canonized in some leftist pantheon?

The Left’s hagiographs to Gilliard are surely reminiscent of the historical revisionism given to Jerry Falwell.

Maybe by seeing the ugliness of my post, you will think twice about the type of atmosphere you are now praising Gilliard for promoting.


Ridiculing people in blackface [as Gilliard once did, which would appear to be his rationale for this charming eulogy] is wrong no matter who is doing it. Ridiculing the dead is wrong - whether I’m doing it to Gilliard or other people are doing it over flag-draped coffins.

Obviously, someone never read ebogjohnson's (yet another example of someone who, unlike this sorry little wet fart, is actually funny) explanation of when and how it is proper to use blackface on one's blog.

"But that's not important right now."

The important part, of course, is:

You too, you too, you too too too too TOO.

Apologies, of course, being for -pussies.-

And, mainly:

You're not funny, you leper.

Know why? Because to be -funny- would require that you had a modicum of empathy as well as the wit of a sparrow.

Chutzpah =! "funny."

Chutzpah - (funny AND clever AND interesting AND observant) = terminal asshole.

But you knew that, right? Hell, "asshole" is the Little Black Dress of today's pundits and other Bright Young Things (self-declared as well as professional). Dredge up creaky bigot chestnuts from grandpop's old tackle box! Fling them about at will! Whine about it when called on it! Attack the vulnerable, and kick 'em when they're on the floor! Convince yourself that people are only calling you an asshole because THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!ELEVEN! Get DOWN with your bad, *bad* self. You prizewinners, you.

And yes, paleobrain whoever-you-are, of whom I'd never before heard and no, I don't want to start a correspondence so you can put your dance card right back again, the "left" does it too. Women do it too. People of color do it too. Not, admittedly, usually quite as egregiously as what you've excreted here, but yep: assholes.

And some of us call them assholes for it, too.

That would be what y'all refer to as "infighting." That is, some people actually calling their own on their shit, in an -attempt- to keep us honest. You may be unfamiliar with the practice. Along with many, many other things. And you know what? That's just fine.

You just keep on with the funny there, it's what you're good at.

And suddenly I'm very tired.

Hey, Lenny, you old momser, lemme know if you need any new bits up there, I gotta few for ya.


Alon Levy said...

It's not fair that I can't vote, while shrill right-wingers can.

Alon Levy said...

On another note, it's fair to discuss the pros and cons of Gilliard's kind of activism, but not in a "He's dead, hooray!" setup or in the style of a Firedoglake comment thread, and preferably focusing on more important issues than his use of blackface.

Vanessa said...

I'm just sad that piny and zuzu are fighting. Nooo!!! It's like my parents are fighting or something.

belledame222 said...

yeah, i know. :-(

this whole thing was dumb and sad.