Tuesday, June 26, 2007

HOTT!! CREEPY BLOVIATING ANGRY STRAIGHT WHITE DUDE TALKSHOW HOST ON CREEPY BLOVIATING STRAIGHT WHITE DUDE TALKSHOW HOST!! FREE VID!! DON'T MISS!!1!

B'll'O'Rly and Howard Stern, take it to the CORN, w00t.



oh, wait, actually: ick.

cliff notes:

BOR: so, here's that prevert degenerate Howard Stern, who for some reason has a problem with (Me, George Bush, Me, nuclear proliferation, Me, people with higher ratings than he has, Me Me Me, baby-raping shit-eaters, and oh yeah, ME), but, strangely, has NO problem with...lezzzzbiannnssss. Isn't that so, Howard?

HS: Why, yes, that's true, Bill! I LOVE lesbians! (By which I totally mean I enjoy analyzing the writings of Audre Lorde and Monique Wittig over a nice hot cup of Earl Gray). YAY! for the SEX-AY, WRITHING, FULLY-TONGUE-EXTENDED, LONG-NAILED LESBIANS! (pant, pant) hotcha hotcha, AOOGA, Hubba Hubba, hot and cold running LEZZ-BEEE-ANNNNSSSSSS!! p.s. you're so tacky.

BOR: I am NOT TACKY. those mugs with my mug on it, *mumble* percentage of the proceeds go to CHARITY. Ever hear of CHARITY, Mr. Selfish? Huh? Huh? No, I didn't think so. You and your LESBIANS. Whyntcha go build HOUSES for poor lesbians, if you like LESBIANS so much, huh?

HS: oooo. now THAT is HOT. too bad YOU are NOT, Mr. Ego.

BOR: Me? Ego? Me? Ego? Me? Ego? You, YOU. ME? EGO???

HS: Wanna step outside?

...sadly, it ended before they, you know, took It outside.

maybe not corn. maybe they could wrestle in a tub of, like, Rogaine.

in an abandoned warehouse in the middle of an eerie grey plain, at midnight, with no electricity. and for the luvvaGod don't TELL anyone.

p.s. BillO, please do not attempt to utter Yiddish again. just...don't.

5 comments:

Rootietoot said...

Gosh, I'm sorry I missed that because I was reading a psychological thriller instead. Shucks.

Emily said...

Thank you for making such an accurate *ahem* transcript of that so I didn't have to watch it. I probably hate Stern a little less, but that's probably only because I've never taken the time to research all the shitty stuff he's said/done.

assembling words to armory, she waits... said...

i just love the way in the teasers before the interview BOR pauses dramatically when saying *gasp* 'lesbians.' because would someone stick up for *pause* lesbians? lmao... (not that i'm really giving HS credit either.)

Cassandra Says said...

I can't bring myself to watch it, BUT...
Damn you, woman, for making me feel mildly sympathetic towards Howard Stern! Now I need to go scrub my brain with a brush or something.

PS O'Reilly really is a trip, huh? If he didn't exist we'd have to invent him for satirical purposes. Kind of him to save us the trouble, really.

belledame222 said...

O, he's had his moments, has Stern. given a choice between him and BillO, i'd certainly pick him.

of course, that is a bit like saying "given a choice between having your apartment overrun with ants, and having it infested with cock-a-roaches."