Here's what's natural...if my husband has sex with a prostitute, my natural instinct is to scratch her eyes out. I don't care if it's legal or illegal. I don't care if she is a feminist or not.
And that is why the stigma will never go away. Women who are trying hard to raise children and keep their families together don't appreciate what you do and wish you would stop. Get it?
You might want to be careful about that, most prostitutes have pretty long nails and are adept at using them to a stunning degree….
But the question is, Heranonymous, why is your venom not directed at, oh, the married man, the husband, who is spending money he could be spending on his family on a prostitute, or stripper, or porn, who is hiring the woman (instead of the other way around)? He is the one making the decision to hire a woman for sex. He is the one going outside the marital bond. He is the one lying to his wife and family. In short, he is the one fucking you over. Literally. Why not claw his eyes out instead and give him the stigma? After all, he is the one initiating the sex and the transaction…not her.
So girlfriend responds, in the comments:
You all can piss and moan at me for bringing it up, but the fact is we are angry at you for sleeping with our husbands. You didn't have to do it. You chose to do it. As for him approaching you first, all I can say is HAH! That's a good one. Are you honestly trying to tell me hookers don't advertise? HAH! HAHHAH! TOO FUNNY!
Prostitution will always carry a stigma because married women, especially those with children, see you as a threat to our families and there are more of us than there are of you. And we vote.
No, I'm not a prostitute. Never had sexual contact with a married man (unless you count...well, never mind), certainly not without the wife's permission.
But you know, I -care deeply- about the Institution of Marriage, (it's natural!) and will of course ferociously leap to guard it against any threats. And the Family. Think of the Children! Specifically, -your- children.
Because, you know, you VOTE. Unlike the rest of us. And pay taxes, and are Fine Upstanding Members of Society. Unlike the rest of us. And the continued stigmatization of the rest of -us- (oh, I'm getting to that), well, that has -nothing to do- with your positioning, of -course-. No.
oh, well, anyway, as girlfriend later reiterates,
There are more of us.
Isn't that -lovely?-
Yeah, lady. I know there's more of "you." I know it very well. And, you VOTE. And how.
Specifically, a bunch of -you- (hey, if you refuse to see other people as individuals who may or may not have done the thing you're blaming the group in question for, turnabout is fair play, cupcake) -voted- so that -other- people, people who've been together for ten years and more, people whose relationships and emotional skills are actually strong enough that they can deal with such things as infidelity all by their very selves, correctly, people who -work hard- and -pay taxes- and -vote- and even -have children- and very probably provide some service or other you take for granted...
...cannot take part in this fine fine institution.
But, there's more of "you," and that makes it all okay, right? Certainly there's no such thing as a straight married woman who might actually notice that there are other people living in the world besides her own myopic nuclear ass, and it might behoove her to take notice, on account of if the institution she's counting on to support her is so -fucking fragile-, then it makes more sense to try to take a closer look at those underpinnings instead of just stepping down more and more firmly.
More to the point,
What do you mean 'we', straight girl?
There are more married women in this country than prostitutes, that may be true. And there are more married hets than there are queer folks in this country, true. Hell, there may even be more -assholian-, reactionary hets like yourself than all the queers -and- all the sex workers -and- all the non-assholian fine upstanding straight people put together.
But, that might not last forever.
And: if "more of us" is your only weapon? You might want to check around and see -just how many ways- you -really are- in the minority. And just how precariously you are perched in that position, and what's--who--is actually keeping you there. For now. In this country, on the planet. And in how many ways you might be pissing those other people off by your very -existence-, you sad, frightened, unconscious fool.
Quick, better step down harder. Nice dainty pointy stigma-heeled shoes. Smaller, so it doesn't hurt so much.
Yeah, what would happen if you let that snippy little rage out at (heaven forfend) the actual huz-bin instead of some unknown sex worker (i.e. a stand-in for the one your Prince Charming actually stepped out on you with)? Goshes, maybe there's -more- trouble in Paradise? What is it, girl? Has our marriage fallen down the well? You mean the Dream actually isn't all that? You mean, everything you worked for and believe in -might not be all that?- You mean someone out there who didn't buy into the good l'il wifey routine not only "steals your husband" but actually -might be happier than you?- Oh, shit. Is it "no special rights" time again?
Better shore up that marriage. Better seal up that institution. Close the doors, lock 'em tight. Stick your fingers in your ears. No, no, it's not our fault; it's all the fault of those -outsiders.- Nope, nothing wrong here!
Keep telling yourself that.
x-posted to Big Queer Blog