For instance, last week I was languishing with dyspepsia ("What the fuck is that?" asked my mom). Doesn't that sound so much better than "acid reflux?"
Now I think I feel the vapors coming on. someone unlace my nonexistent corset and bring me some eau de cologne, will you?
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6 comments:
Don't worry, I've got some smelling salts right here.
I think you need the rest treatment. I promise you, no yellow wallpaper.
I was just discussing this with my doctor last night: diseases are way better with the definite article in front of them. The Plague. The Grippe. The Ague. The Consumption. The Vapors.
La grippe!!
I must confess that we've (my friends and I) have taken to putting definite articles in front of all manner of things that wouldn't normally get one.
The herpes. The typhoid. The TB. The scurvy.
I'm not sure why that is.
Next time I'm feeling poorly, I'll claim to have The Manflu!
*thinks*
Maybe it would be better if it were le mainfleur (why "handflower"? The shape of the handkerchief, of course!)
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