SUCCUBUS: I suppose you've never met a myth before.
GIRL: (Innocently). No. What can I do for you, myth?
SUCCUBUS: Behold my magnificence, for I am the dreaded Succubus!
GIRL: How can pure evil be embodied by such beauty?
SUCCUBUS: How much easier to lure you into my arms. Come, child.
GIRL: Vile thing, what right have you to demand my death?
SUCCUBUS: (Angrily) Do I not also have the right to life? As you need food and water so I need the pure unsullied blood of virgins.
GIRL: What proof of you of my maidenhead? What if I told you I was the village slut, a repository for every man's seed in Sodom?
SUCCUBUS: I'd say you were a big fat liar. Now get in that cave. I'm freezing my ass off in this draft.
GIRL: I'm afraid to die.
SUCCUBUS: (With great self pity) That's nothing to be afraid of. Think how much crueler my fate, never to die, condemned to immortality. The perennial witness to the eternal passing parade. My cave is quite the lonely one.
GIRL: Forgive me if I don't weep.
SUCCUBUS: A spitfire, eh. But why should you pity me? I'm a goddess. You look around and see the glamorous way I live. My slaves, my riches, my dishware. But try throwing a dinner party for two pinheads and a cyclops. True, I have caskets full of sparkling jewels but where the fuck can I wear them. My life stinks. The only enjoyment I get is a vestal virgin now and then but time goes on and I survive. And how, how you may wonder do I face the prospect of a millenium of time on my hands? What keeps me going is a sense of humor. I giggle, I chuckle, I even guffaw but inside I weep. It's the age old story, laugh, Succubus, laugh.
--Charles Busch, "Vampire Lesbians of Sodom"