Quote of the day, 12/8/06

SKRIKER: Lily, I'll level with you, ok? You ready for this? I am an ancient fairy. I am hundreds of years old as you people would work it out. I have been around through all the stuff you would call history, that's cavaliers and roundheads, Henry the Eighth, 1066 and before that, back when the Saxons feasted, the Danes invaded, the Celts hunted, you know about any of this stuff? Alfred and the cakes, Arthur and the table, long before that, long before England was an idea, a country of snow and wolves where trees sang and birds talked and people knew we mattered, I don't to be honest remember such a time but I like to think it was so, it should have been, I need to think it, don't contradict me please. That's what I am, one of many, not a major spirit but a spirit.

LILY: And why are you here?

SKRIKER: I am here to do good. I am good. You look as if you doubt that.

LILY: No, of course not.

SKRIKER: I am a good fairy.

LILY: You do good magic?

SKRIKER: That's exactly what I do.

LILY: And you'll do it for me?

SKRIKER: ...You're the one I've chosen out of everyone in the world.

LILY: Why?

SKRIKER: Because you're beautiful and good. Don't you think you are? Yes everyone sometimes thinks they're beautiful and good and deserve better than this and so they do. Are you telling me I made a mistake? I'd be sorry to think I'd made a mistake.

LILY: No. No I'm glad.

SKRIKER: And you accept?

LILY: What?

SKRIKER: Accept my offer. Accept my help.

LILY: Yes. I think--what offer?

SKRIKER: My help.

LILY: Do I have to do something?

SKRIKER: Just accept my help, sweetheart.

(Pause)

LILY: No, I...It's very kind of you but...I don't like to say no but...

SKRIKER: You might as well say yes. You can't get rid of me.

LILY: No.

SKRIKER: Who the fuck do you think you are?

(Pause)

Whatever you say.

...

(Pause)

Tell me how the TV works and I'll trade.

LILY: I don't know how the TV works.

SKRIKER: Would you like a ring that when you look at the stone you can tell if your loved one's been faithful?

LILY: I don't have a loved one.

SKRIKER: I can fix that, no problem. Just tell me how the TV--

LILY: I don't know how the TV works.