Wednesday, November 22, 2006

...and this just in from Planet O'Reilly: Fox News has nothing to do with Fox Broadcasting. Also, iPods R Ev0l.


From the fine folks at Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly, International (a thoroughly fair and balanced, nonpartisan site), a couple of entertaining tidbits. first, O'Reilly losing his shit--yeah, yeah, film at eleven--but, no, really, he actually said this:

Shamefully, the Fox Broadcasting Unit is set to carry the program, which is simply indefensible, and a low point in American culture. For the record, Fox Broadcasting has nothing to do with the Fox News Channel.

which, as SJIHBOR notes,

Yeah, um, except that you're owned by the same parent company, dingbat.

As in, Rupert Murdoch owns both; Roger Ailes, FNC chair, also chairs Fox Television Stations. oh yeah, and also, Harper Collins, the publishing company that was going to publish the (fair and balanced, tasteful) subjunctived claused OJ confessional, is, coincidentally, also owned by Rupert Murdoch. (nod to Radar).
Other than that, they have nothing to do with each other, though, no.


Of course, you understand, I'm just saying that because I'm one of those far left Internet loons.

The so-called elite media is tiptoeing around the fact that Simpson’s being paid millions to exploit the murders of his ex-wife and Ronald Goldman, murders he probably committed.

The New York Times covered the story in its business section. “CBS Evening News” didn’t even mention it for the first two days. But the tabloid press and cable news are fully engaged.

The far left loons are also out in force as their Internet masters urge them to tie the FOX News channel in with the Simpson situation. I’ve received scores of letters like this one from Fred in Indianapolis.

“Mr. O’Reilly, you are a man of principle. Since Fox News is sponsoring the Simpson program, will you sever your ties with Fox News?”

Obviously Fred is a bit slow. FOX News has nothing to do with the Simpson situation. And Fred doesn’t believe I am a man of principle either. He’s a Kool-Aid zombie doing the bidding of far left fanatics who will do anything to disparage me and FNC.


But oh well, water under the bridge; it's not going forward, the special. O'reilly is jubilant:

"It's a culture war victory. The folks did it, and I am the messenger."

Sadly, however, after all he's done for the world, no one wants him.

"I don't get invited to parties. Nobody wants me. When I do go, everyone is exceedingly polite to me.


Oh, well. On to more important matters: iPods are endangering America.

I don’t own an iPod. I would never wear an iPod… If this is your primary focus in life - the machines… it’s going to have a staggeringly negative effect, all of this, for America… did you ever talk to these computer geeks? I mean, can you carry on a conversation with them? …I really fear for the United States because, believe me, the jihadists? They’re not playing the video games. They’re killing real people over there.

10 comments:

emily said...

BD, does anybody take this guy seriously? That's not a rhetorical question, you knows I am not American.

Am I right in thinking that he's basically a nut-job, but a useful one whose extremism can allow the centre to shift more towards the Right, whilst defining itself against his excesses? Or is there no real difference in viewpoint between Fox News and the Bush admin?

Marti said...

The guy has no shame at all. But he's following the lead of GW, he's playing to his base. Most of the people that watch Bill don't care to know the truth. They want to see that the world isn't as Lilly perfect white as it was in the 50's. A truth shield... unfortunately he's shielding his viewers from the truth. He's spewing rhetoric and hate that's reminiscent of Lewis Prothero, from “V for Vendetta.”
I wonder if he's the inspiration? They're both quite alike.He spews rhetoric and propaganda without any kind of moral or intellectual basis for his arguments. It's tiresome for anyone with a brain, but for the millions that live an unexamined life, it's manna from heaven.

Ed Ward said...

Wait, I have an internet master? Why isn't he paying me more?

Zan said...

You want irony? One of the things available on the O'Liar's website? Podcast downloads. For iPods. Because he's so principaled and believes they're evil and all.

Also, isn't he really lucky people are polite to him in public? I mean, I don't think I could be in the same room with him and not have an overwhelming urge to stab him in the eyes with something shiny. . .

belledame222 said...

But if they did, though, he'd be ready to fight them like a man, you bet.

Emily: hard to say. No one I know does; but then, I don't necessarily run in the circles that would do. It'd be nice to think that at this point his ratings are primarily due to all the people who tune in to gawk at the trainwreck, but...

belledame222 said...

>Am I right in thinking that he's basically a nut-job, but a useful one whose extremism can allow the centre to shift more towards the Right, whilst defining itself against his excesses? Or is there no real difference in viewpoint between Fox News and the Bush admin?>

pretty much, yep. well except for the one is pretty happy to abandon the other if its ratings get too low.

meanwhile, it occurs to me: it's almost the most wonderful time of the year! War On Christmas Season! WHEE!

Amber said...

I really fear for the United States because, believe me, the jihadists? They’re not playing the video games. They’re killing real people over there.

I don't even understand what that's supposed to mean. Does he mean we should be killing real people too, instead of playing video games? Would that be better?

Amber said...

Excuse me: instead of playing THE video games.

Zan said...

You can declare war on Christmas. Shoot the reindeer, tie Santa to a bonfire. But you leave my little pagan fertility rite along, got it? Or I'll curse you with a sexless New Year. Or something.

(Doh. Maybe that's my problem. The reason I can't find a date or boy/girl toy of my very own. I forgot to sacrifice something....hrm.....What to sacrifice, what to sacrifice....I'd suggest O'Reilly, but I don't wanna piss the gods off any more....)

Did you hear WalMart caved and decided to go back to Merry Christmas this year? If I'm feeling cheeky, I think I should ask them what's so merry about celebrating the birth of a convicted traitor. I mean, that is what they charged him with, ya know. So, explain to me if it's okay for the big J to be 'disloyal' to his country, why do they wanna string us liberals up by the balls? Aren't we just being Christ-like and following His example? Ah. Details.

Cheryl said...

One of the very first gifts I bought my grandson was a Sweet Jesus, I Hate Bill O'Reilly onesie! I doubt he ever wore it.

What a sorry soul he has.