Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Bad ideas, part #409,809,761

1) The creation of a "Talking Jesus" doll in the first place. (although now I am sort of morbidly curious as to what kind of voice they used. i'm having horrible auditory flashbacks to my old Speak N Spell)

2) Attempting to donate them to a state-based charity and then acting surprised when they tell you actually, that's kind of over the line, there, with that whole "favoring one religion over another," proselytizing thing.

Michael La Roe, director of business development for both companies, said the charity's decision left him "surprised and disappointed."

The idea was for them to be three-dimensional teaching tools for kids," La Roe said. "I believe as a churchgoing person, anyone can benefit from hearing the words of the Bible."

pics of the dolls here.

the fingers can "gasp and hold," which is kind of cool: even the hands talk! or something.

not sure what they're supposed to hold, though, sadly. (does it come with miniature loaves and fishes?) somehow the idea of a twelve-inch Jesus clinging to someone's finger as they dangle it in the air is, well, kind of depressing me, strangely enough.

they also have a Moses; he's a bit Wallace-and-Gromit-esque, somehow. Something about the eyes...they're a bit too close-set...

via the lj community Dark Christianity: Exploring and Exposing Dominionist Christianity

--update! if you click on the verses, you can get an MP3 recording of the voice.


...oh. oh. i dunno. -that's- Jesus? somehow i never imagined Him sounding quite so much like the computer in 2001...


Quinn said...

This totally made my day! Moses is, as you say, a little too Wallace-y.

Alex said...

I am just thinking of all the other things that people could do with Jesus hands that grasp and hold.

Oh yes, I am definitely burning in a fiery pit of hell one day...

Rootietoot said...

Why o! Why do they insist on making Jesus look like the lead singer from ALabama? First of all- He is described as "an ordinary man", and he came from Galilee, so that means he would look like a Galilean, right? And they are...Sephardic:dark and swarthy. hairy, and at that time, not prone to growing beards as they were laborers and beards were hot.

"Starting with the assumption that Jesus resembled a typical peasant from 1st century CE Palestine, Richard Neave, a medical artist retired from the University of Manchester in England, and a team of researchers "started with an Israeli skull dating back to the 1st century. They then used computer programs, clay, simulated skin and their knowledge about the Jewish people of the time to determine the shape of the face, and color of eyes and skin." 2 Mike Fillon followed the research and wrote an article about the portrait in "Popular Mechanics" magazine. 3 He said during a CNN interview that: "There are very strong rabbinical laws in Israel that you cannot tamper with a skull or any bones, so they needed to reconstruct the skull. Using a cat scan, which is very common in hospitals, they were able to recreate the skull precisely and make a cast of it. Then they put small wooden pegs, based on anthropological data, to figure out what the muscle structure and the skin would look like, and so they layered that on using clay-like substances."
Mike Fillon, "The Real Face of Jesus," Popular Mechanics, 2002-DEC. Online at: http://popularmechanics.com/science
Paula Zahn, "Interview with Mike Fillon," CNN American Morning, 2002-DEC-25, at: http://www.cnn.com/TRANSCRIPTS/0212/25/ltm.07.html

The result is shown in the left portrait above: a person with abroad peasant's face, dark olive skin, short curly hair and a prominent nose. His height would have been on the order of 5' 1"; he would have weighed about 110 pounds. Alison Galloway, professor of anthropology at the University of California in Santa Cruz , said that: "This [portrait] is probably a lot closer to the truth than the work of many great masters."

I wonder why Alex felt the need to say what he did.

Alex said...

Alex is a she, and was mostly making glib commentary on people's astounding ability to fetishize pretty much anything.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend.

Rootietoot said...

's okay, Alex...I retract my offendedness. I get touchy where Jesus is concerned.