as posed by amber in response to a post by antiprincess: i.e. where do you draw the line?
What I said was:
In a way, ime, imho, etc., I think in a way you (general "you") actually -do- know very well where the line is, assuming you are a decent, sensitive, caring person in the first place; it's just, one tends to end up second-guessing oneself a lot precisely because of the doubt instilled by fuckloads of unconscious/nasty people.
and, addendum, if you do fuck up? (which you will, inevitably). You fuck up. It's human. You apologize or at least acknowledge the mistake, do what you can if anything to make reparations, and move on.
Lately I have been humming a Bessie Smith song; the lyrics feel apt:
"I ain't worried, I'm doing very fine
You keep yours and I'll hold onto mine
Take it right back to the place where you got it,
oh you cain't leave a bit of it in here..."