Sunday, April 01, 2007

...and then, the trainwreck was hit by a meteor; and the scattered survivors were set upon by rabid wolverines

i know, i know, i'm so damn weak. and it's just giving her what she wants anyway. but...

...............



Tuesday. ...Took Ollie up to the Barlows' party and it couldn't have been more attractive--couldn't have been more people absolutely stinking. They had those Hungarians in the green coats, and Stewie Hunter was leading them with a fork--everybody simply died. He had yards of green toilet paper hung around his neck like a lei; he couldn't have been in better form. Met a really new number, very tall, too marvelous, and one of those people you can really talk to them. I told him sometimes I get so nauseated I could yip, and I felt I absolutely had to do something like write or paint. He said why didn't I write or paint. Came home alone; Ollie passed out stiff. Called the new number three times today to get him to come to dinner and go with me to the opening of "Never Say Good Morning," but first he was out and then he was all tied up with his mother...


--Dorothy Parker, "From the Diary of a New York Lady: During Days of Horror, Despair, and World Change"

16 comments:

Clio Bluestocking said...

That was the perfect quote, just perfect.

College student tend to get drunk, simply sauced and do just the craziest shit. How old is she?

belledame222 said...

In her fifties, I believe. Forties, at the very least.

A White Bear said...

Lord, I wonder what it was that she did that night?

Eli said...

So she has blonde hair, but it never actually *registers* on her that she has blonde hair. Oookay.


Is it possible she suffered some kind of undiagnosed brain damage after she became a law professor? I mean, she couldn't have *always* been like this?

R. Mildred said...

Is this a time suck that I'll really want back like the last one?

I'm scared.

R. Mildred said...

Okay, can I get a reality check as well: Is my innate body dysmorphia derived fatphobia kicking in, or does she remind anyone else of a deeply non-funny miss piggy, personality wise more htan visually?

R. Mildred said...

College student tend to get drunk, simply sauced and do just the craziest shit. How old is she?

The professors also do that iirc from my time when I was living near a college, but here's the thing: Don't they usually do something, I dunno, fun!? She's drunk and tlaking to her self, and filming herself talk to her self, waht sort of person would be so in love with their own voice to... Oh.

ballgame said...

OK, I confess, I somehow find her completely uncensored self-absorption to be strangely ... appealing.

Eli said...

Banality and narcissism are *such* a heady mix...

belledame222 said...

You know, I have insomnia, and watching that all the way through helped somewhat, but then i kept going into fits of giggling, which ruined it. you'd've hoped she'd at least be good for -something.-

eli: did you get to the part where she starts talking about "brain lesions" and what it must be like to hear voices and how no one can -really- multitask and so on?

i worry, you know.

seriously, though, it really is like a Wally Shawn character monologue after a sharp blow to the head. With an anvil. From the fifth floor.

"My Dinner With Altmouse." action figures sold separately.

Eli said...

eli: did you get to the part where she starts talking about "brain lesions" and what it must be like to hear voices and how no one can -really- multitask and so on?

God no. I can't watch more than a minute before my animal brain triggers the chew-your-own-leg-off-to-escape sequence.

Clio Bluestocking said...

Yeah, the professors get sauced and do crazy shit too. Although, they are professors, so "crazy" has a bit more subdued a meaning; but it doesn't involve a webcam. Still, this is just embarassing. I was half expecting her to show us her tits.

Donna said...

If there was a contest for most boring person on earth, she'd win hands down.

Why??? Why does she subject her readers to this? Is she trying to drive them away?

Emily O. said...

That was hilarious.

belledame222 said...

Who knows what banality lurks inside the hearts of Ann? The Emu Knows.

belledame222 said...

RM: I just can't feature what a non-funny Miss Piggy would be like. but then, perhaps, that's the point.

"what is the sound of one Ann bloviating?"