"Sex Lady's Lesson: Save Yourself"
Jennifer Waters calls herself the Sex Lady. She likes to play matchmaker with Miss Tape and unwitting teen boys.
She slaps a piece of clear tape across Julian's arm. He winces.
"It's gonna hurt when I take it off," the lanky boy protests.
"But it's fine now, isn't it?" Ms. Waters whips back.
The puzzled looks on 18 eighth-graders at Carrollton's Arbor Creek Middle School brighten. The Sex Lady has made her point: Bad relationships hurt.
Ms. Waters, who was born to an unwed teen mother, teaches abstinence courses for free to schools and church groups across the country. The Allen, Lewisville and Princeton school districts have all brought her in, spurning larger and more costly programs.
"I love what I do because it's very personal to me," says Jennifer Waters, whose birth mother conceived her at 14.
Texas law requires sex education courses be abstinence-based. Some Lewisville middle schools had been contracting with Dallas-based nonprofit Aim for Success, which claims to be the nation's largest abstinence educator.
But not all schools could afford a price tag that averaged $2,000 per session.
...I don't wanna," Julian screeches before obeying. He cradles his arm as he sits down.
Ms. Waters shows Miss Tape to the class before calling up another boy, Spencer.
"We got some skin, Julian's hair," she says. "Spencer, did you get a good look at Miss Tape?
"You bond with Miss Tape," she says, slapping the strip onto Spencer's arm. "Everything Julian had has now been passed on to you."
... "A lot of times people think sex is just physical," Ms. Waters says. "But it's also very emotional. Do you think that could affect your bond in marriage? Even though you think relationships now don't matter, they do matter. It's not about age. It's about how committed you are. Marriage is the biggest commitment."
Her talk also includes lessons on sexually transmitted diseases, but she emphasizes the relationships that lead to sexual activity more than sex itself. She asks kids to describe the ideal partner and then tells them to date only "marriage material."
It was this hands-on – or rather, arms-on – animated message that sold the Lewisville Independent School District on Ms. Waters' 180 Degrees program. Earlier this month, district trustees approved Ms. Waters' curriculum for all 14 of its middle schools.
"It's really an effective, positive message on making good choices," said Kevin Fisher, Lewisville's secondary science director. "Some of the programs of this nature try to use scare tactics. This takes a different approach. Being free of charge is nice, too."
47 comments:
So she's saying that girls who have sex are dirty, clingy, and hurtful...
damn, where have I heard something like that before?
That's rather terrifying. And pretty disgusting. Has this woman never heard of condoms?
Miss Tape is TEH HAWT. I would totally hit it. I-
I'm completely missing the point, aren't I.
Oh, and if you think Miss Tape is clingy...
That's rather terrifying. And pretty disgusting. Has this woman never heard of condoms?
The juxtaposition of condoms and Miss Tape is making me squirm uncomfortably.
Um, in case I haven't made it sufficiently clear, I think the abstinence-only people are nuts. And I really don't think the girls-are-icky strategy is going to make anyone less horny.
Oh, and speaking of girls-are-icky deterrents, this is just about the funniest thing ever. It's long, but I swear it's worth it.
I can't think of any good reason why there wouldn't be a Mr. Tape. Guys can carry disease just as easily as girls.
(I know what the reason is; I'd just like to hear The Anti-Sex Lady explain *her* rationale).
Can't stand 'Miss Tape' because it isn't a good way of showing how sti's are passed. A simple group chemistry experiment would show that much better, without presenting the idea of 'girls are icky'.
"I can't think of any good reason why there wouldn't be a Mr. Tape. Guys can carry disease just as easily as girls."
Carry certainly. But I don't believe the rate of transmittance is the same. If I remember correctly, males have a higher rate of transmitting infections through sexual conduct than females due to equipment. Depending on the infection, o'course.
If she wanted to encourage abstinence without introducing her religion, she would have included and advocated self-masturbation and left out the aim of sex-only-in-marriage, of which the institution is wholly religious and that all people aren't able to utilize. From the article, I'm also doubting that she makes a distinction between sexual acts and 'insert tab A into slot B' which cannot be good for her the students that have taken her program.
Why does she use her mother having her at fourteen as an analogous situation for sti's? A possible child isn't quite the same as an infection, and I don't believe they're comparable at all past the date where humanity is currently determined. She's a grown adult using her mother and by extension herself as an example. It doesn't make any sense. Is it that she hates herself?
And last but certainly not least,
"If I can do it, you can do it."
is utter crap. Entirely self serving to the person's ego who's saying it.
Well that was disturbing. Seriously, Belle, where do you find this stuff?
And yes, having sex is EXACTLY like having tape stuck on your arm and then ripped off.
Did she have a really traumatic bikini waxing experience or something?
(I know what the reason is; I'd just like to hear The Anti-Sex Lady explain *her* rationale).
"I can see your dirtypillows"
"If I can do it, you can do it." George Will was pulling that line in 1980.
Arrogantworm, your idea for a masturbation class as a deterrent to pre-marital sex is freakin' brilliant! Think about it: it is abstinence-based, so you could get government funding!
Mmm... dirtypillows...
If I were teaching an abstinence class to girls, I would simply suggest to them that whenever they found themselves tempted, they should picture me naked. I'm pretty sure that would work, and would only mentally scar them a little bit.
For the boys, I would simply show them one of those Althouse videos and tell them to think about it every time they started to get aroused.
eli: that first link is almost, but not quite, as weird as the perpendicular-lined buildings fetishist/married to the Berlin Wall chick.
i was actually thinking showing them George Will's dour little puss would be enough to put 'em off copulation for a good long while.
forcing students to watch those Althouse videos would probably constitute cruelty, even by the standards of people who think sadistic tape-ripping-skin off students is just fine and dandy
eli: that first link is almost, but not quite, as weird as the perpendicular-lined buildings fetishist/married to the Berlin Wall chick.
I think the exaggerated politeness of it, and Roy Orbison's fatalistic resignation to his clingfilm-enshrouded fate is what does it for me.
The other link isn't as strange, but it's damn funny. A brilliant use of Paul Reubens and Patrick MacNee.
forcing students to watch those Althouse videos would probably constitute cruelty, even by the standards of people who think sadistic tape-ripping-skin off students is just fine and dandy
At least I'm not advocating telling anyone that that's what they'll become if they have too much sex. 'Cuz that really *would* fuck them up for life.
Plus I'm pretty damn sure it's not true...
oh, that's who that was. just finished watching. i was wondering why he looked familiar. yeah, that one...didn't do it for me s'much, sorry.
Oh well. You probably wouldn't like the film noir parody with Christopher Guest playing all the roles either, then.
Clio, somewhere along the line the government would want to know what was in the class, so I doubt I'd get funding.
And the clingfilm thing was odd, it's still jockeying for position with the Berlin Wall on which is the most unusual. On the upside, it didn't mention dolphins. I wonder how many people're out there that it appeals to. What I wouldn't give for honest answers to a questionnaire.
Am I the only one whose first thought is that Miss Tape is a throwback to the era of corporal punishment?
The Wrapping People in Clingfilm Fetish is actually all over the BDSM fetish community.
Ugh, I'm getting like some sort of pornographic google these days I swear...
Am I the only one whose first thought is that Miss Tape is a throwback to the era of corporal punishment?
You mean sado-rape masked as corrective education?
Nah, the asshats who say that Sequanda Cotton deserved to be in prison because her mothe didn't beat her hard enough into repsecting Authori-tah are.
Corporal punishment in schools (as in, okay to physically "discipline") is actually still legal in some states, i believe.
...yep, here we go
clingfilm in itself i don't find that odd. specifically making it about Roy Orbison, that...well, each to hir own, i guess...
but clingfilm--sure, just another form of bondage. cheaper than fancy latex body bags and probably easier than complicated rope (different, too) plus: shiny!
speaking of, more or less, and tangentially: does anyone else's cat like to lick plastic? What's up with that?
Arrogantworm, your idea for a masturbation class as a deterrent to pre-marital sex is freakin' brilliant! Think about it: it is abstinence-based, so you could get government funding!
Too bad (Clinton no less) dumped Jocelyn Elders for even bringing up the "m" word. apart from that I'm TOTALLY sure that would get government funding right now.
Ah, well, it was just a dream. It's complete lack of viability kind of underscores that their dream would be a sort of lobotomy that cuts out the portion of the brain responsible for anything at all sexual.
I'm wondering how many of the Tape sisters Miss Waters keeps captive at home. I'm guessing Miss Scotch Tape's more homely but forceful sister "Duct" is reserved for those special moments.
Those eighth graders must be much smarter than I am or pretending to be, 'cause I'm still trying to get the point.
I'm wondering how many of the Tape sisters Miss Waters keeps captive at home. I'm guessing Miss Scotch Tape's more homely but forceful sister "Duct" is reserved for those special moments.
Me personally, I like a little more electricity in a relationship - but no masks.
I also lament that I never have occasion to say "That is a well-groomed terrapin."
Belledame,
he Siamese here likes to lick plastic, drives me batty.
Is she mad? Or is the law mad?? I can't believe in sex education via abstinence...it's like alcoholism via temperance...I thought we were mad in the UK!
hi, welcome khlari. nope, the ex-colonies would appear to be rapidly regressing to our Roundhead roots, at least in parts. y'all had the good sense to send them over here eons ago, and now they've mutated.
creep, I told you very specifically not to post here. your inability to respect other peoples' boundaries is unsurprising, all things considered, but it will not be tolerated here. piss off.
Who was that?
some pedophile/troll who followed me over from elsewhere. no one you know. no one i want to know.
Thank GOODNESS that there is someone out there willing to make sure that people remember how precious sex is. How many of you bloggers have an STD? If you haven't been tested, you probably should. The only true way to stop the spread of STDs is abstinence. You people need to start trying to find things that can make a difference in lives versus bashing those people attempting to. Get on the bandwagon to promote positive choices - you people are mostly angry because you've given up the right to yourself. I imagine that most of you would go back and change that decision if you had to.
and by the way, we're angry because, besides the abusiveness of this idiot's techniques, actually, abstinence only education is associated with a -rise- in STD's and pregnancy. Fearmongering and willful ignorance do -not- help.
Abstinence-Only Programs Are Dangerous, Ineffective, and Inaccurate.
The Society for Adolescent Medicine recently declared that “abstinence-only programs threaten fundamental human rights to health, information, and life.”[8,11]
* According to Columbia University researchers, virginity pledge programs increase pledge-takers’ risk for STIs and pregnancy. The study concluded that 88 percent of pledge-takers initiated sex prior to marriage even though some delayed sex for a while. Rates of STIs among pledge-takers and non-pledgers were similar, even though pledge-takers initiated sex later. Pledge-takers were less likely to seek STI testing and less likely to use contraception when they did have sex.[20,21]
* Evaluations of the effectiveness of state-funded abstinence-only-until-marriage programs found no delay in first sex. In fact, of six evaluations that assessed short-term changes in behavior, three found no changes, two found increased sexual activity from pre- to post-test, and one showed mixed results. Five evaluations looked for but found no long-term impact in reducing teens’ sexual activity.[9]
* Analysis of data from Youth Risk Behavior surveys found that sexual activity among high school youth declined significantly from 1991 to 1997, prior to large-scale funding of abstinence-only-until-marriage programs, but changed little from 1999 to 2003 with federal funding of such programs.[22]
* Analysis of federally funded abstinence-only curricula found that over 80 percent of curricula supported by the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services contained false, misleading, or distorted information about reproductive health. Specifically, they conveyed:
o False information about the effectiveness of contraceptives;
o False information about the risks of abortion;
o Religious beliefs as scientific fact;
o Stereotypes about boys and girls as scientific fact; and
o Medical and scientific errors of fact.[23]...
Belldamme - congratulations in finding the most liberal article to support your beliefs.
Let's get a scale - on one side let's weigh the emotional scarring of sex as a teenager (when breakups are very common and before they are developmentally ready), STDs, and teenage pregnancy. On the other side let's put a piece of tape that makes a point while taking some hair off the arm that will grow back in a couple of weeks. The fact is the sting from making that analogy will last a couple of seconds - the impact of sex as a teenager will last some of them the rest of their lives.
Do some more research on your own - and make a full search of how effective abstinence programs that give students a choice have been. I could give you those statistics - I am a counselor in an educational setting who deals with teenagers on a DAILY basis. No - I think if you actually talk to those girls that WISH they could have a second chance your view point would be remarkable different. Do you work with teenagers? My job revolves around the fact that I'm teaching them to think for themselves. I give them the facts, I deliver programs that teach the truth about what it can do, and if I have to use Miss Tape - then so be it! If I can make a difference through minimizing STDs and teen pregnancy - I will do it. Teenagers are naive and want to know the truth. After they have facts and anologies that get their attention and still choose to have sex, then that's their life. The stats prove (check it out) that 50% of teenagers choose not to have sex after learning the harmful effects to the rest of their lives. I would check Columbia University's reliability and validity rate in that study. I would imagine it's not a reliable study.
Columbia University is not a reliable source for scientifically valid studies? Got anything to back that up? Besides your imagination, that is? And the studies you rely upon are scientifically more reliable, are they? Again: got anything to back that up?
and: the American Medical Association, and the American Public Health Association are wacky extreme liberal and thus unreliable sources too, are they?
What do you know about scientific research methods, exactly?
do you slap tape on your students, p.s.?
What do you say to a gay student?
and it's not just the physical impact of the tape: there's emotional weight there too, yeah? What's left is: some crazy woman hauled me up in front of my fellow students, caused me pain even though I protested, and mostly just basically made me feel dirty and depraved for being sexual. That shit's sexual abuse too, I will have you know.
and again: you do understand that there is such a thing as sexual activity without PIV (much less unprotected) intercourse? or any penetration whatsoever?
What do you tell your kids about masturbation? "Outercourse?" Condoms? Anything? Or "just say no" and that's it? Can they -get- condoms if they want them? Any other kind of birth control?
By the way? What kind of lesson do you think it teaches kids when someone speaking with authority says they want to do something painful to the kid, the kid says "I don't want to" but the person goes ahead and does it anyway? With no consequences? And the kid's desires don't matter? Yeah, in this case it was a grown woman and a young boy. Do you think it doesn't have any impact on the way kids--girls too, yep--respond to someone forcefully putting pressure on them to have sex? "I don't want to" doesn't matter. That's screwed up, you know it?
Bless your heart... seriously. Did you actually read this article? She was born by a 14 year old who got pregnant in school, and gave the baby up for adoption. I think she had a VERY cool testimony to tell!
To offset that article - yes, they are liberal minded. Every journal that you get sites from has to be balanced with what they stand for, and you can find it if you read what articles they publish. Do you know what journals are? A association's publishing that are going to be biased and someone's opinion. How do I know this? I have a Master's degree in research. Unless you've been through a class like that you would never be able to identify this - CNN would never say, "Oh and by the way, what we are stating here on public television is based from an association who promotes..."
The thing wrong with the internet is any person like you can get on here a bash a person who ultimately is attempting to give naive, vulnerable children all the facts. You don't like that because it seems as though it's HINDERING what you want to do and you feel guilty for it. Period.
If you had remained pure with integrity and had made that decision, you wouldn't be as angry as you are. I challenge you to get all the facts before you jump on a band wagon such as this. Your topics on your blog are unreal - I have much sympathy for you and hope one day you see life as a gift and not to promote vulgarity.
Good luck to you.
"Your topics on your blog are unreal - I have much sympathy for you and hope one day you see life as a gift and not to promote vulgarity."
Whoaaa!!! I haven't even had a chance to read through the thread yet and already I'm a bit ticked.
Clue 1: If someone uses the "bless your heart" routine, they are usually not worth debating with.
Faith - I wish the same for you. Life doesn't have to be like this - it's a choice. I'll be sensitive to you both and promise not to access this blog anymore. As a counselor in an educational setting, I will use both your views to help as I plan appropriate programs for my teens at my school. It's been interesting for me, and I'm glad that I can read the other side. I hope one day you both find some peace...
Bless your kidneys, you haven't provided a whit of evidence backing up your own "stats," your hunch that any of the sources I listed (once again: the American Medical Association is apparently too fringe for you) have an Agenda, unlike say yourself. Furthermore, you have absolutely no idea what my or any of our histories, sex lives and otherwise, are about, and it's damned presumptuous of you to assume you know not only what we've done but what our motivations are.
Life absolutely is a gift; so is my sexuality. That's why I've chosen to honor it in the way my Creator has clearly intended me to do: in a way that matches up with what my still small voice tells me, not what a bunch of ignorant bigots with poor boundaries try to push in order to meet their own ill-understood needs.
p.s. "I'll pray for you."
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