Wednesday, April 11, 2007


Over at Ren's, they are discussing the concept of "nice guys" (part of Stereotype Week).

As I was saying over there,

I've never been a fan of "nice girls" either, I will say. "nice" people. i don't even mean erotically, just in general. people who smile all the time but rarely laugh. people who are always eager to please but somehow seem to disappear when the shit -really- hits the fan. people whose hair is always orderly and their shirts are often buttoned up to the chin. people who are filled with compliments which somehow don't leave you feeling any better. people who may or may not fuck, but never -say- it, and probably never fart. people who you never know exactly what they're thinking...until it's too late.

people who were never real friends in the first place, because they aren't real, period.

oh yeah, and most of all:

people who never get -angry.-

because getting angry -isn't nice.-

so yeah, "nice" to me is not synonymous with "socially awkward" or "shy," although there may be overlap. definitely it doesn't mean the opposite of "jerk" or "cruel." to me it mostly just means...not vital or vibrant. and not really...real. just sort of...there. as someone said: insipid. inoffensive.

sometimes they come with a nasty bite under all that milquetoast, ime.

more often they just sort of trickle away into the floorboards when you really need 'em.

oh yeah and, and:

sometimes "nice" people outlets for all those unacceptable feelings. certain political movements fit the bill nicely, sometimes. hey, look! a formless Institution we can safely direct our anger against! marches and protests and defacing buildings! certainly that feels MUCH better than direct confrontation, or owning our personal shit. and, finally, we're ENTITLED to our feelings, which we NEVER were before without this excuse; by god no one's gonna take this away from us.

by the way, Ren (warning if you're at work) would also like to know what y'all make of anti-prawn people who sell tapes of the explicit slideshow they used at a conference, without the (presumably oppressed/exploited) performers' consent or probably even awareness


Renegade Evolution said...

thnx belle

Eli said...

I hardly ever smile or compliment, so I guess I should be okay...

Cassandra Says said...

You may appreciate this site if you haven't seen it before.

Pretty thorough deconstruction of the "nice guy" paradigm there.

And no, I don't like "nice girls" any better either.

belledame222 said...

i was actually thinking about that very site & posting it at Ren's. too lazy to get around to it, though.

they can be a bit glib/snide for my tastes; those articles are bang-on, though. particularly the "manipulator files"--i think i even linked 'em somewhere in the sidebar.

Alon Levy said...

Just out of curiosity, what do you guys think of this take on nice guys?

Mandos said...

people who never get -angry.-

I never really get -angry-. It's just not in some of us.

Octogalore said...

I think "nice" girls and guys are edgeless and I like my people edgy. It's why I've gone from an organization of thousands to one of hundreds and now I'm in a much smaller and quirkier co. The larger and more corporate the group, the smaller the talk, and there's nothing I hate more than small talk.