Tuesday, March 06, 2007

*sigh* -Must- I? Okay.

I'll just link to the people who've covered this rather spectacular demonstration of assiness so thoroughly that I don't have to add much:


("White Lady Pity Party")




Sylvia's, where It apparently all began (I'm still spelunking)


R Mildred



and Renegade, who also covers others I might have missed.

--and p.s. not incidentally Kai, who does not talk about this directly but has a roundup of takes on similar, more public assiness, (the same story Sylvia was covering)


So! I really don't have much to add at this point.

Just a special plea, really:

You know, Asshat-Americans really are shockingly oppressed.

In fact, by definition, they happen to be THE MOST OPPRESSEDEST PEOPLE IN THE WORLD.

Not that there's a hierarchy or anything. But if there were.

Because, no one ever even considers how hard it is to be an unsocialized fuckwit in a world full of people who have emotional and social skills somewhat better developed than those of a neglected meth-addled toddler.


Please, please, give cash, prizes, fuckloads of oozing sympathy and fluttering attention, as generously as you can, to Me.

No, really, it's best that it goes through Me. I'll be sure to pass it on to those who need them most.


*Ahem* I said, GIMME.


What?? Don't you TRUST Me? You don't believe My motives are altruistic and pure-snowy-white as the driven guano?

-tremulous sigh- Well, I forgive you. Clearly you just haven't understood Me properly. Not many do, you know.


Oooo, I'm so offended.

No, that's IT. I have suffered a grievous injury; there can be no recompense.


Not, I hasten to add, that I EVER expected any better from the likes of you.

So there.

And by the way? I'M LEAVING.

Yes, that's right. I am DEPRIVING you of my presence. No, you can't change my mind. Take THAT. SUFFER WITHOUT MY PRESENCE! You'll all be sorry! OH YES YOU WILLLLLL...


kactus said...

you know, I refrained from commenting on this too, mainly because so many great women were already doing so; but then I saw the emily's list picture from pandagon and the whole entitled mess just popped in my head like a boil. Cuz it just seemed to embody everything about all of this.

women of color as oppressors, indeed. Hmmph.

midwesterntransport said...

i'm gonna go home and i'm gonna BITE MY PILLOW, that's what i'm gonna do.


with love,
and tee-hee-hees

belledame222 said...

hey you! was just thinking about you. will email

WomansSpace said...


Thanks for the bibleography.

I'm going to be going through a Blog-identity crisis. Too many people are confusing me with the oppression olympics.

AradhanaD said...

I'm commenting here for the first time - so 'hello all'.

I liked the round-up on superbabymama's. We never needed amanda or jessica in the past to say "you're oppressing us" - they did it with their actions. They allowed many, many white guys comment and attack us verbally. They didn't have to 'explicitly' say - "you've morphed into the oppressor" - they're actions spoke volumes.

White ppl think that talking about 'race' is taboo - but not because they can't talk about race - but because they fundamentally believe they can't talk about race because we would all 'go crazy' if they did. You know why??? Cause they have no clue as to their own entitlement and privilege.

Also Womansspace is a troll who is going around spreading unfounded rumours about Heart (not that I should care) I'm only saying because that could happen to anyone of us. Hell, I wouldn't want half the ppl I know to reveal things about my past when I didn't have control of them and especially after I've changed my views a hundred times over.

ProseHack said...

I wanted to email this privately, so as not to join the ranks of the "asshats," but I thought that maybe posting a comment would also invite some feedback. I don't know.

I'm adopted, so while there's some question as to the actuality of my race, I am socially constructed as white. This discussion, which I've read over the course of a couple of days, has done several things for me:

1)made me defensive
2)made me uncomfortable
3)made me laugh
4)made me confused
5)[never any 5s on my lists]
6)made me think
7)made me think
8)make me think

And for all of those things, I wanted to thank everyone involved--those with whom I agreed as well as those with whom I disagreed.

I teach preparatory (remedial) writing and reading skills at the college level, where my primary student population is POC. I struggle with making my students understand the importance of education--esp for them--while being sensitive that they are caught in the middle b/t those in their community who accuse them of "acting white" and those in the mainstream who call them "uppity."
I struggle with the balance between "educating" them and "colonizing" them.

Most tellingly, as a white-lady progressive, I, too, was probably eligible for bint's award because of my self-congratulatory attitude over giving up "a life of ease" making better money to "helping students who otherwise wouldn't be in college." Admittedly, I was struggling with the hypocricy inherent in that attitude--probably why I wandered thisablogaway in the first place; nevertheless, it made me somehow feel superior to those "other" whitefolk who "have no idea."

Even while I (try to) remain aware of my "fishbowl" of white privilege, I realize know that I was guilty of seeing WOC (POC even)as a monolithic entity--
a kind of unknown, uniform "other." Of course I see the inherent irony in that--in other places, I become as annoyed when the same assumptions are made about my POF community. More than any book or article or report, this "grouping of posts" has opened my eyes to my ethnocentric assumtions.

So--these posts drove home for me the depth of my ignorance. I see I've made some enormous assumptions! I'm just not quite sure what to DO about them, yet anyway.

This is an enormously me-centered post, I know. I'm not posting this for any "pats on the head" or reassurances that I'm indeed a good white lady. I don't expect anyone to fix things for me or to tell me what to do.

Frankly, I'm not sure what this post is, other than a sincere thank you for everyone's input. Thanks especially for making me uncomfortable--dissonace is the place from which we grow. I have learned so very much from all of you.

Oh, and a request that I be allowed to "hang around" and learn more? Maybe even post now and again, provided I have anything constructive to say.

belledame222 said...

Hi, welcome aradhanad. And welcome, proseshack. As far as I'm concerned you're certainly welcome to hang around here.

I can't speak for everyone, but just in general, you know, I don't think the complaint is so much that these are white people/women who are talking about race issues at all (that would also include um me); or even that they're saying that they're uniquely situated as partners and/or parents to POC. More that they, well, in general are being, ummmm....asshats. Yeah. Just don't have it in me to elaborate any further than that today; and you've been following along, as you say.

anyway, glad you could join us.

p.s. there's an "introduce yourselves here" thread over in the sidebar, which is always open.

Tom Nolan said...

(light goes on) Ah! So there's another "womensspace" in the field. Took me a while to work out what the hell was going on there.

"Hell, I wouldn't want half the ppl I know to reveal things about my past when I didn't have control of them and especially after I've changed my views a hundred times over." - aradhanad

If you change your mind about something, then there's an easy way to prevent your previous opinions becoming hostages to fortune. *Say* that you have changed your mind, say *why* you have changed your mind, and apologize if you believe your former opinions were due to ill-will rather than ignorance. That was George Orwell's technique, and it never failed him.

Heart might try it too. It would save her a lot of embarrassment in the long run.

belledame222 said...

Heart has always been at war with Eastasia.

Tom Nolan said...

Heart has always been at war with Eastasia. - BD

And when she returns to the Urpatriarchal Church of Uppitywomenwillburn (it's just a matter of time: synchronize watches!) this whole "feminist" episode will seem like a distant dream to her.

Sage said...

Couple of things:

Hey to midwesterntransport! Nice to see you're still in these parts!

BD, You're link to Kai doesn't seem to be working.

And finally, I'm always so impressed that, this being life and life being full of crap, that there's a line-up of people to take that crap on quickly and impeccably every single time.

Sage said...

Couple of things:

Hey to midwesterntransport! Nice to see you're still in these parts!

BD, Your link to Kai doesn't seem to be working.

And finally, I'm always so impressed that, this being life and life being full of crap, that there's a line-up of people to take that crap on quickly and impeccably every single time.

belledame222 said...

TN: either that, or maybe she takes a circuit through Scientology or some sort of New Agey pop psych dealio.

heh. wouldn't that be a kick? Heart on personal empowerment! You create your own reality! Here's how I learned:

belledame222 said...

thanks, sage.

Nanette said...

I used to know this guy... kinda smart, funny, good sense of humor, a bit of the nervous type but nothing unmanageable... it's just that, well... he was mostly what some would consider a "loser".

Couldn't hold down a job, lived with his mom (who he didn't like much), and everything he touched just seemed to turn to dust.

I watched the progression
as first he started blaming women for his plight... starting with his mom and going on to his former girlfriends and then finally all women were to blame. That wasn't enough tho, so then he started blaming Blacks, then Jews, then Mexicans and on and on, until finally he was just a full pledge white supremacist, hanging out on St**mfront and with those sorts of people, where he found full acceptance, and most importantly, understanding of how everything was the fault of someone else.

That's kinda what this stuff reminds me of - not that I am saying that Heart or CM are racist white supremacists, of course - but the complete throwing off of responsibility.

belledame222 said...

"external locus of control"

otherwise known as I Blame Everyone And Everything In The World But My Own Sweet Self

Renegade Evolution said...

belle, I think I am older than you and all, but can I be you when I grow up? I mean, feel like mentoring an vicious tempered whorin' capitalist jew?

That entry was priceless

Cassandra Says said...

womansspace - I think I was one of the ones who had you confused with Heart in the beginning, sorry about that. Because really, does the world need more than one Heart? Is there enough ego-space for multiples?

Cassandra Says said...

Belle, this...
"Heart has always been at war with Eastasia. "
If I wasn't happily partnered I'd so be asking you out on a date right now.

On Heart's next step, I'm kind of thinking Wicca. She's already got the hippy mystical my-sacred-yoni thing going on.

Bint Alshamsa said...

Regarding Heart's phases, I'm thinking the next one should be Jehovah's Witness. Trust me, she'd fit right in.

Thin Black Duke said...

Y'know I still can't bring myself to say much about this other than "right on" to all you folks.

I don't know; there have been several people in interracial relationships discussing this, but I may be (not sure really), the only black dude partnered to a white woman that runs around these parts and honestly, the whole thing has freaked me the fuck out. Not that I think my girlfriend thinks that way. I know she doesn't. But the whole "race traitor" as some sort of badge of honor? Shit. How many arguments have I been in defending myself against the same charge, y'know?

And you know, now that I write this out, I'm starting to get what freaks me out. There's no way in hell that either of these woman have never encountered the phrase "race traitor" as an insult to their husbands. With that knowledge and to take it and turn it around as a badge alongside all of this sacrifice bullshit. Ugh. It all just makes me sick.

belledame222 said...

it is gross.

i wouldn't take them as particularly typical of anything except pathological narcissists, but i can understand the upset.

i am so tired of toxic people.

Thin Black Duke said...

And I know that Heart and CM aren't the first to use the term in this manner, btw. There was a magazine or some such a while back called Race Traitor if my memory serves me right. And I think I understand the term used this way as an attack on the notion that white people doing anti-racism work are "race traitors." Reclamation of sorts, I guess. But in this context, it just doesn't hold for me. The word is too loaded, especially when used in the context of an interracial relationship. And well, the whole martyr thing combined with using your black husband as a shield against criticism?

Yeah. They got it half right.

belledame222 said...

well yeah. i'm pretty sure it wasn't supposed to mean in the way it's classically used by overt (i.e. neo-nazi) white supremacists), to wit "intermarrying and having mixed-race babies"

midwesterntransport said...

hey sage!

Thin Black Duke said...

oops, see what happens when I start typing too fast? The Race Traitor magazine I'm talking about wasn't a White Supremicist mag, it was an anti-racism mag from around '95, I think. I think that Heart and CM are attempting to use the term in the same vein. I think it doesn't work.

belledame222 said...

no, I know that's what you meant. sorry for the confusion. what i'm saying is, i'm pretty sure the magazine wasn't all about deliberately intermarrying just for the sake of it, because that's what THEY fear most. i could be wrong.

Nanette said...

On the 'race traitor' bit, just from reading Heart's posting on that, and the various people's writings she highlights, it does not seem to me that they are meaning the same thing she is meaning.

belledame222 said...

well, that is often true, i think, with her...

Nanette said...

Yes, from what I can gather, it's more about deconstructing whiteness and tearing down privileges and so on... I would more consider Rachel of Rachel's Tavern a "race traitor", as that what she works on doing than I would someone who wraps herself in whiteness and martyrdom because she married black people and had BI-RACIAL children (I'm sorry, I always hear that phrase - from her - in shouts).

A good many Black people in the US are ... if not exactly bi-racial, then multi-racial of some sort. (Me, I think any number of white people are too). Being a mixture is not some sort of race traitor/anti-racist statement (unless one is saying that those who raped women slaves or servants or women conquered or terrorized in war, were "race traitors").

It has to be an entire package, and needn't involve sex or children or anything at all. I am not a "Heart" expert, but so far I don't see much beyond "My abusive BLACK husbands and BI-RACIAL CHILDREN" and that being translated into the right wing frame of the term "race traitor".

belledame222 said...

yeah, Rachel actually does the work; she also y'know talks about her husband like he was an actual human being--why, i think he even posts for his very own self as well, sometimes--not just y'know a Get Out Of White Supremacy Free bargaining chip.

toxic nannies, vomit monsters and energy vampires. i dunno. *spits, to cleanse self* I'm thinking a little exorcism ritual might be in order.

Thin Black Duke said...

On the 'race traitor' bit, just from reading Heart's posting on that, and the various people's writings she highlights, it does not seem to me that they are meaning the same thing she is meaning.On the 'race traitor' bit, just from reading Heart's posting on that, and the various people's writings she highlights, it does not seem to me that they are meaning the same thing she is meaning.On the 'race traitor' bit, just from reading Heart's posting on that, and the various people's writings she highlights, it does not seem to me that they are meaning the same thing she is meaning.

What? Are you saying she's posted more on this? I have to go investigate now.

Bint Alshamsa said...

I REALLY wish that I could just ignore this stuff but it's so-oo-oo hard for me to do so. I guess I take it so personally because I am a multi-racial person of color in an inter-racial relationship and I also have a multi-racial child.

Being multi-racial doesn't eliminate my ability to be racist even when it comes to those groups that I am descended from. So there's no way you can convince me that simply being married to a POC provides you with some special incite into "the Black experience" that makes it impossible for you to be a racist.

And the way that Chasing Moksha and Heart talk about their kids just really offends me. I mean, do these children even have any names? I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd think the Heart's kids were all named "Bi-racial". Do these children mean anything to them beyond being useful tools to use as some sick version of "street cred" in conversations on race? I just don't see that. It's absolutely dehumanizing, to me. I have yet to see them talk about what their children have had to say about this "race traitor" nonsense.

belledame222 said...

well y'know Heart was part of the Quiverfull movement before her current incarnation, hence the many kids. she still kind of talks like the Duggars about 'em tbh. precious blessings, trump cards, anything and everything but actual y'know people.

Clampett said...

eheheheh. Scintilating expose.

Enters satire mode:

I'm miffed as a marxist that we've abandoned class and dialectics, sniff, instead.... embraced identity politics. waah waah ---*pout*---

(nose in air, eyes closed, face away, face away)

Exits satire mode:

um, Great links.

Ravenmn said...

"Race Traitor" is online here with some articles and information. It looks like theirr last issue was in January 2005.

Nice round up, Belle.

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