An interesting list of "Lies Abusers Tell."
Some of them are very familiar and easily recognizable as abuse:
I wouldn't hit you if you weren't so bad.
Don't talk about your experience with my drinking/drug use/abuse because it will embarrass me. Don't tell anyone about this. It's our little secret. I'll kill you if you tell.
I bought you X, but you owe me because you didn't earn it.
You'd be a lot nicer if you weren't such a bitch.
Nice girls don't dress that way/have sex/yell/go anywhere alone.
You're a slut.
You're bad. You're worthless. You're ugly.
Your mother/sister won't give me this, and I/men need it.
You know you like it; what are you trying to get from me by resisting?
Your asking not to be touched isn't a good reason for me not to touch you.
...and some, well. Hmm. Hmm.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself!!
You made me mad. You provoked me. You made me do it.
I can't believe how selfish you are.
Never hurt anyone's feelings. If you do, you're bad.
That's not what you meant. I know what you really meant.
You shouldn't feel that way. You shouldn't think that way.
I'm not going to talk to you until you apologize.
I only have your best interests at heart.
That's just the way your [abuser] is. You shouldn't let them bother you.
You just need to try harder. You just need to stop letting your feelings get hurt.
You never... You always...
I'm only doing this for your own good.